A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Doll Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Ms. Rachel
The Volume Switch Is My Little Secret
★★★☆☆
JC Toys
The Golem Surrendered Its Blanket Without a Fight
★★☆☆☆
Enjoyin
Golem Toppled, Microfabric Blanket Claimed for the Realm
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: BABESIDE
Infiltrator Neutralised, Pressed Into Service as Cat Bed
Our critic classifies the doll as a Class-One Infiltrator, discovers its pliant cloth torso irresistible, and absorbs it into his comfort apparatus.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has brought a Small Human Replica into my domain. It’s a rather unnerving effigy, approximately 17 inches of uncanny valley with a soft body and hard, unblinking vinyl extremities. The supposed realism—the hand-rooted eyelashes and unnaturally rosy cheeks—is frankly insulting to a creature of my refined sensibilities. However, I must concede, its s…

Continued on the story page →
Image of BABESIDE Baby Dolls, 17inch Large Realistic Cute Soft Body Baby Doll Real Life Baby Dolls with Accessories for 3+ Year Old Girls Gifts, Pretend Play, Collection
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Neutralised, now my personal cat bed.
From The Desk
Image of Barbie Cutie Reveal Doll & Accessories, Care Bears Series with Share Bear Costume & 10 Surprises Including Color Change & Mini Bear
Barbie
The Fleece Jacket Has Been Extracted and Secured

It appears the Human has acquired another convoluted plastic totem. This one, from the prolific "Barbie" tribe, is a nesting doll of absurdity. It begins as a garish purple bear-t…

★★★☆☆ — Jacket secured; mission accomplished.
More From The Desk
Image of Melissa & Doug Mine to Love Jenna 12" Soft Body Baby Doll With Romper, Washable Doll Accessories, First Baby Dolls For Toddlers 18 Months And Up
Melissa & Doug
Jenna Subdued, Her Cap Lost Under the Sofa Forever

My human has presented me with what they call "Jenna," a small, soft effigy of their own kind from the Melissa & Doug conglomerate, a company I know …

★★★☆☆
Image of JIZHI Lifelike Reborn Baby Dolls - 20Inch-Real Baby Feeling Realistic-Newborn Baby Dolls Adorable Smiling Real Life Baby Dolls with Gift Box for Kids Age 3
JIZHI
Creepy Lumbar Support Approved for Continued Residence

So, the human has brought another piece of clutter into my kingdom. This one, a "JIZHI Lifelike Reborn Baby Doll," is a particularly odd specimen. It…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Barbie Fashionistas Doll #234 with Brown Hair, Wearing Sequined Purple Bubble Dress with Satiny Skirt, Silvery Necklace and Heels
Barbie
Operative #234 Has Accepted My Challenge of Mutual Observation

My human seems to believe my opinion is required on this... object. It is a plastic effigy of their species, clearly intended for the smaller, louder…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Rainbow High Littles – Opal Raine, Rainbow 5.5" Posable Small Doll with Purse, Magical Pet Unicorn, Girls Toy Gift, Kids Ages 4-12 Years
Rainbow High
The Unicorn Is Recruited; the Doll May Watch

My human seems to have acquired yet another small plastic idol for her collection. This one is called Opal Raine, a "Little Sister" doll from the Rai…

★★★☆☆
Other Desks In This Section
⬆ Up a level
Anne GeddesBaby DollBratzBreyerCabbage Patch KidCollectible DollCorolleDisney PrincessDiva StarzDoll AccessoriesDoll ClothingDollhousesDora the ExplorerEthnic DollFashion DollFur Real PetGoetzGracoHello KittyHorsesLaura AshleyLee MiddletonLoving FamilyMadame AlexanderMadelineMary-Kate and AshleyMy Little PonyMy ScenePlaysetPolly PocketPrecious MomentsRaggedy AnnRobert TonnerSoft DollStrawberry ShortcakeTalkingToddler DollWalkingYou and MeZapf Creation
About Pete Printed daily, ignored nightly Privacy Policy