A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Diva Starz Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Diva Starz
Ghost Coracle Survives the Leviathan Test
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Alexa
The Box Beats the Doll Every Single Time
Our critic investigates a talking fashion doll sharing a name with his beloved smart speaker, dismisses it as a false idol, and immediately annexes its packaging.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human, in their infinite and often baffling quest for my amusement, has unearthed an artifact. It appears to be a collection of miniature, synthetic garments for a plastic homunculus from the year 2001. The primary selling point, if one can call it that, is its supposed "interactivity" tied to the name "Alexa." This is deeply suspicious. While I acknowle…

Continued on the story page →
Image of ALEXA Diva Starz Interactive Fashions
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★☆☆☆☆
The box was always superior
From The Desk
Image of 2001 McDonalds Happy Meal Toy Diva Starz #8 Diva Starz Purse MIP Accessory
McDonald's
The Real Toy Was the Suspense I Created

So, the Human has brought forth an artifact from the ancient year of 2001, a relic from the house of greasy smells, McDonald's. It purports to be a 'Diva Starz Purse,' a title I f…

★★★☆☆ — Suspense crafted, idle plastic ignored
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