A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
The Pete Gazette
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Mattel
Crispy Hair Condemned; Tiny Curler Wins the Day
Pete dismisses the stiff-haired plastic idol as factory dust in human form, but a stray curler skittering across the hardwood salvages a partial, three-minute victory.
The Human has procured what appears to be a miniature, plastic effigy of a lesser celebrity from a bygone era, a creation of the Mattel monolith. Its primary function, from what I can gather, is to serve as a glorified grooming dummy, featuring an absurdly large quantity of synthetic, blonde hair. While the potential for batting at and possibly ingesting th…
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Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Dud idol; decent accessory. Barely.
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