A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
The Pete Gazette
Also Reviewed
ノーブランド品
Toilet Lid Cover Consecrated as Midnight Napping Throne
★★★★☆
One Hundred Cards, One Hundred Crevices to Fill
★★★★☆
Memory Game Destroyed; Empty Box Is Sublime
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Laura Ashley
King of Spades Captured; Heist Declared a Success
Our critic steals the King of Spades mid-game, delivers a ceremonial kill bite, and retires with the prize to a lair beneath the credenza while the humans celebrate their meaningless hand.
So, my human presented me with this box of paper rectangles from a purveyor named "Laura Ashley," a name that seems to evoke in her a strange reverence for faded flowers and what she calls "cottage charm." From my perspective, it's a sturdy, decorative box containing thin, flimsy squares that are utterly useless for sleeping on. However, the little ribbon t…
Continued on the story page →
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
Excellent matériel for a proper heist.
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