A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
The Pete Gazette
Also Reviewed
Aori
False Deity Exposed; True Ruler Returns to the Sofa
★☆☆☆☆
Generic
Cold, Hollow, Indifferent — Critic Yields the Armchair
★☆☆☆☆
Generic
Rolling Dishrag on Wheels Defeats Critic With Hypnotic Rumble
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Madame Alexander
Critic Loots the Blanket; Doll Becomes a Sunbeam Sentinel
Our critic ignores the doll entirely, steals its blanket for kneading practice, then repurposes the unblinking Pink Cloud as a silent enforcer to reserve premium sunbeam territory.
My human has presented me with what appears to be a silent, unblinking creature from a company with a rather ostentatious name, Madame Alexander. This "Newborn Baby Doll" is, for all intents and purposes, a non-functional small human designed for nurturing play, a concept utterly foreign to my superior feline sensibilities. I will concede that its soft body…
Continued on the story page →
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
A pawn in my domestic strategy. Worthy.
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