A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Loving Family Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Fisher-Price
Sister Toppled Off Shelf, Stashed Under the Radiator
★★★☆☆
Fisher-Price
Baby Effigy Exiled to the Credenza Catacomb
★★★☆☆
Fisher-Price
Plastic Cult Disrupted; Baby Repurposed as Floor Puck
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: TOMLEON
Nine Pliable Actors Staged for a Coronation of Ambiguous Intent
Our critic bends the silent family into a ring of worship around a dust-bunny-enthroned baby, declaring the tableau either coronation or sacrifice — the ambiguity being the art.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human, in a fit of what can only be described as profound misunderstanding of my needs, has presented a collection of miniature effigies from a brand called TOMLEON. Apparently, these are "Dollhouse People." To me, they look like a silent, judgmental committee, sized perfectly for batting under the sofa. Their key feature seems to be that they are "posea…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Dollhouse People, Bendable Dollhouse Family Set – 9 Poseable Figures Including Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, Cousins, and a Baby Girl – Perfect for Dollhouse Play and Imaginative Fun
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
Actors for my grand theatre. Worthy.
From The Desk
Image of Creative Minds Marvel Education Caucasian Family Toy Figure Set for Kids Ages 3+, Set of 8 Inclusive and Diverse Dollhouse Toy Figurines, Multicolor
Cre8tive Minds
Vacuum Monster Triggers Domino Effect; Critic Seizes Command

It appears The Staff has acquired a collection of miniature, static humans – a so-called "family." They are made of some durable vinyl, which is a minor point in their favor, as t…

★★★☆☆ — Worthy pawns in quiet, private dramas.
More From The Desk
Image of Replacement Figure for Loving Family Dollhouse - BML25 ~ African American Little Sister Toddler Figure
Mattel
Replacement Figure Sent to Join Its Long-Lost Predecessor

So, my Human has acquired yet another tiny, plastic homunculus. This one is designated a "Replacement Little Sister," a clear admission of their fail…

★★★☆☆
Image of TOMLEON Family Dollhouse People - Doll House People Figures - 5 Poseable Action Figures Incl. Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, Toddler - Small Dolls for Dollhouse - Dollhouse Dolls (Family)
TOMLEON
Toddler POW Secured; Command Structure Left in Disarray

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature tribe of hominids, a product of the TOMLEON brand. These five plastic figures, with the…

★★★★☆
Image of Fisher-Price Loving Family Mom
Fisher-Price
Pre-Dawn Spy Interrogation Yields Only Plastic Boredom

My human has presented me with a small plastic effigy, a "Fisher-Price Loving Family Mom," which, by the name alone, suggests it is meant for the clu…

★☆☆☆☆
Image of Fisher-Price Loving Family Dad
Tiny Dad Dragged to Lair, Promoted to Narrative Stand-In

So, the human has presented me with this... "Loving Family Dad." My initial analysis suggests it is a small, stiff plastic effigy of a male human, ap…

★★★☆☆
Image of Fisher Price Loving family Exclusive Holiday Dollhouse Fully Furnished with 50 accessories
Fifty Accessories Dispatched; Critic Claims the Roof as Throne

So, the Human has acquired a "Dollhouse." From my superior vantage point on the back of the couch, it appears to be a large, plastic monolith with se…

★★★★☆
Image of Sweet Li'l Family Dollhouse People Set of 9 Action Figure Set - Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, Toddler, Twin Boy & Girl
Nine Wooden Bipeds Scattered in Ten Minutes of Gleeful Tyranny

So, my human has presented me with a tribe of miniature wooden bipeds, apparently a complete "family" unit. From what I can gather, these are small, …

★★★☆☆
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