A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Dora the Explorer Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Bendon
Seven Glorious Minutes of Dominance, Then Removal
★☆☆☆☆
Nickelodeon Universe
Boots the Philosopher Cannot Be Separated from His Banana
★★★☆☆
Accutime
The Watch Is Terrible at Time, Sublime at Light Dots
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Tonies
The Chocolate Tree Oracle Has Assigned Me a Quest
Our critic dismisses the audio figurine as sonic warfare until a story titled The Chocolate Tree transforms it into a sacred oracle, sending him to interrogate the houseplants.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented me with a small, plastic effigy of a child with a disturbingly large head. Apparently, this is "Dora." On its own, it is nothing more than a potential paperweight or an object to be knocked off a high shelf in the dead of night. Its true purpose, I'm told, is to be placed upon a separate, larger box which then assaults the quiet digni…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Tonies Dora The Explorer Audio Toy Figurine [English/Spanish]
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
Infuriating, perplexing, utterly brilliant
From The Desk
Image of Nickelodeon Dora The Explorer Baby Toddler Board Books - Set of Four
Nickelodeon
The Map Led Directly to the Salmon Treat Cabinet

My Human seems to believe that these four dense, laminated slabs of cardboard, emblazoned with the garish iconography of some large-headed child and saccharine equines from the 'N…

★★★★★ — Dora is a cartographer of genius
More From The Desk
Image of Baby Toddler Board Books - Set of 2 (Dora the Explorer Board Books)
Bendon Publishing
A Premium Skitter-Plank, Barely Acceptable

My staff has presented me with what appears to be literature intended for a lesser, more primitive life form—a "baby," I believe they call it. These …

★★☆☆☆
Image of Nickelodeon Dora the Explorer Bean Bag Sofa Chair, Purple
Nickelodeon
Purple Lumpy Throne Claimed as Western Command Post

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature, lumpy throne, apparently intended for a much younger, two-legged creature. It's a gari…

★★★★☆
Image of Activity Books Spot The Difference Book Game for Kids - 22 Puzzles with Answer Key (Dora The Explorer)
Activity Books
I Became the Difference; Puzzle Elevated and Solved

My human has presented what appears to be a flat, rectangular...thing. From what I can gather, it's a series of brightly colored static images design…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Dora the Explorer Coloring Book Super Set - 3 Dora Coloring Books Bundle with Dora Play Pack (Dora and Friends Party Supplies)
Dora the Explorer
Intelligence Dossier Redacted; Coloring Stick Confiscated

My human has presented me with a collection of what appear to be thin, flimsy sheaves of paper, bound together under the guise of a "Dora the Explore…

★★★☆☆
Other Desks In This Section
⬆ Up a level
About Pete Printed daily, ignored nightly Privacy Policy