A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Bratz Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Sliding Silver Phone Converts a Cynic Into a Hunter
★★☆☆☆
Two Feet Tall and Still Beneath My Notice — Mostly
★★☆☆☆
The Fuzzy Imposter Cat Is Now Hunted Prey
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From:
The Phone and Hair Clip Are Already Under the Credenza
Our critic dismisses the vacant-eyed doll outright, yet concedes its trove of tiny accessories makes excellent quarry for batting beneath the credenza, where they inevitably vanish.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with this... thing. It appears to be a small, plastic effigy of their species, notable for its disproportionately large head and feet. They call it a "Bratz" doll. The main attraction, from what I can glean, is not the stiff, staring figure itself, but the treasure trove of tiny, plast…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Bratz Alwayz Cloe Fashion Doll with 10 Accessories and Poster
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
The doll bores; its trinkets flee.
From The Desk
Image of Bratz Alwayz Yasmin Fashion Doll with 10 Accessories and Poster
The Tiny Purse Has Been Claimed Behind the Curtains

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what appears to be a small, plastic effigy of their species. They call it a "Bratz Alwayz Yasmin Fash…

★★☆☆☆ — Purse claimed; doll earns a passing grade.
More From The Desk
Image of Monster High Scary Sweet Birthday Doll, Draculaura in Pink Party Dress with Themed Accessories Like Invite, Balloon, Gift, Fan and More
The Tiny Bat Is a Trophy, the Doll Gets Ignored

My human, in their infinite and baffling misunderstanding of my sophisticated needs, has presented what appears to be a plastic effigy of a small, pi…

★★★☆☆
Image of Bratz Babyz Runwayz Jade Collectible Fashion Doll with Real Fashions
I Claimed the Runway Box as My Personal Dais

Honestly, the Human has brought home yet another object that seems designed entirely to be ignored by any creature of sophisticated taste. This appea…

★★★☆☆
Image of Bratz Goin’ Out! Sasha Fashion Doll with Accessories
The Handbag Has Been Secured Behind the Curtains

My human, in a moment of questionable judgment, has procured what appears to be a small, plastic tribute to their own species, a "Bratz" doll named S…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Bratz Slumber Party Cloe Fashion Doll with 2 Sets of Pajamas, Plush, and Accessories
The Plush Pig Was the Only Item Worth Killing

My human has brought home yet another miniature, plastic effigy of her own species, this one named "Cloe." From what I can gather, this "Bratz" doll …

★★★☆☆
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