A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Goetz

Götz 2511042 Little Kidz Grete PJ Party Doll - 36 cm Large Multi-Joint Standing Doll with Brown Hair and Grey Eyes - 8-Piece Set

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume is profound boredom, has procured a small, silent homunculus named "Grete." Apparently, this is a "Götz" creation, a brand that prides itself on quality, which to me simply means it cost more of my tuna budget. It's a multi-jointed effigy with disturbingly vacant grey eyes and synthetic brown hair that looks just flammable enough to be interesting. It's intended for "creative play," which is human-speak for "an object to be propped up in a corner and forgotten." While its posable limbs and potential collection of tiny, losable pajama-themed trinkets might offer a moment's diversion, I suspect its primary function will be to stare into the middle distance, silently judging my napping form. A potential rival for prime sunbeam real estate, but lacking the critical ability to move on its own, it is likely a waste of my considerable intellect.

Key Features

  • Götz 2511042 Little Kidz Grete PJ Party Doll - 8 Piece Set
  • 36 cm multi-articulated standing doll with brown hair and grey eyes
  • This toy supports development-promoting creative and free play for children.
  • All materials used are tested according to guidelines of the European toy standard DIN EN71 - part 1-3.
  • As a quality mark, each Götz manufakturpuppe receives a certificate and the Götz seal ribbon - you will always recognise the original.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It appeared without warning, a silent sentinel placed squarely upon the velvet ottoman—my velvet ottoman. The staff called it "Grete," a name as bland as dry kibble. It sat there, legs bent at an unnatural angle thanks to its "multi-articulated" nature, wearing tiny pajamas as if mocking my own dignified, fur-based evening wear. I approached with the caution reserved for a new vacuum cleaner. Its grey eyes, devoid of life or the good sense to blink, followed my every move. This was not a simple toy; this was an interloper, an effigy sent to observe my kingdom. My initial probe was a delicate sniff. It smelled of a sterile factory and cardboard, a scent with no story, no soul. I circled it, my tail twitching like a metronome of contempt. This was an interrogation. I extended a single, perfect claw and gently tapped its vinyl cheek. Nothing. Not a flinch. Not a flicker in those dead eyes. This one was a professional. I escalated, batting a dangling arm. It swung limply, a pathetic gesture of surrender that somehow felt like defiance. This doll, with its certificate of authenticity, was a stone wall. Frustrated, I changed tactics. If the subject wouldn't talk, perhaps its associates would. The "8-Piece Set" was scattered around it: a tiny hairbrush, some sort of slipper things, and the prize—a miniature, plush sleeping mask. This was its weakness. While Grete maintained her stoic, creepy silence, the sleeping mask was an object of pure, unadulterated temptation. It was small, soft, and possessed an elastic band that practically screamed, "Fling me across the room!" I abandoned the interrogation of the primary suspect. With the deftness of a shadow, I hooked the sleeping mask with a claw, flicked it into the air, and caught it mid-pounce. It was glorious. The doll remained, a silent monument to my victory. My verdict is this: Grete herself is a bore, a soulless statue unworthy of a proper pounce. However, her accessories are loot of the highest quality. She may remain as a silent guardian of the ottoman, but her possessions now belong to me, the true master of the house. She is less a plaything and more a poorly-guarded treasure chest.
Image of Götz 2511042 Little Kidz Grete PJ Party Doll - 36 cm Large Multi-Joint Standing Doll with Brown Hair and Grey Eyes - 8-Piece Set View Details

Götz 2511547 Little Kidz Doll Gretes Slumberparty Gift Box - 36 cm Large Multi-Joint Standing Doll with Brown Hair and Grey Eyes - 7-Piece Set

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented, for my inspection, what appears to be a miniature, unblinking human effigy, which they have named "Grete." Apparently, this is a product of some repute from a brand called Götz, known for its meticulous construction. The creature is clearly intended for the smaller, louder human in the household and comes with an entire "slumberparty" kit, including a change of clothes and tiny slippers. The main attraction for a feline of my caliber might be its long, synthetic hair, which could prove a potential target for a desultory swat, or perhaps the various soft bits and bobs that accompany it. However, the true prize is undoubtedly the cardboard vessel it arrives in, a far superior structure for strategic loafing. The doll itself seems like a static, soulless thing, a poor substitute for a well-deserved nap in a sunbeam.

Key Features

  • Götz 2511547 Little Kidz Doll Gretes Slumberparty Gift Box - 36 cm Multi-Joint Standing Doll with Brown Hair and Grey Eyes
  • This toy supports development-promoting creative and free play for children.
  • All materials used are tested according to guidelines of the European toy standard DIN EN71 - part 1-3.
  • As a quality mark, each Götz manufakturpuppe receives a certificate and the Götz seal ribbon - you will always recognise the original.
  • Box contents: 1 x Little Kidz Sluberparty Lookalike gift set in 3-piece set with Little Kidz Grete standing doll, gift box, suit, sleep mask, slippers for Little Kidz and slippers for children (size 28-32) from Götz

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The affair began not with the doll, but with the box. It was a structure of exquisite integrity, emitting the intoxicating scent of fresh cardboard and possibility. I had just begun the sacred ritual of rubbing my chin against its crisp corners when the Large Human, my primary staff member, crudely tore it open. From the tissue paper nest emerged the interloper: a silent sentinel with unblinking gray eyes and a cascade of brown hair that looked suspiciously stiff. My human cooed, manipulating its limbs which clicked into unnatural angles—a feature they called "multi-jointed." I called it deeply unsettling. They sat the creature, Grete, on the rug, its legs crossed, and placed a ridiculous little sleep mask on its head. Then, my human had the audacity to arrange its plastic hand to point directly at my favorite napping cushion. A silent challenge. For an hour, I watched it from across the room, my tail twitching a rhythm of pure disdain. It did not move. It did not breathe. It simply sat there, a monument to my human's baffling taste in companions. The sun shifted, casting a long shadow from the doll that encroached upon my personal space. This aggression could not stand. When my human finally left the room for a fresh supply of that dark, sloshy water they drink, I made my move. I crept forward, my tuxedo bib brushing the pile of the rug, my approach a masterpiece of silent intimidation. I circled the plastic homunculus twice. It smelled of nothing, an offense in itself. Its painted-on smile was a placid lie. My gaze fell upon its feet, shod in the most absurdly tiny, plush slippers. They were gray, a respectable color, and looked exceptionally soft. They were an affront to the dignity of all functional footwear, but their smallness, their sheer battability, was undeniable. I extended a single, perfectly manicured claw. With a practiced flick of my paw, I sent the right slipper flying in a perfect arc, landing silently by the leg of the sofa. The doll, of course, did not react. Its serene, manufactured expression remained unchanged. It had failed the test of interaction. It was, as I suspected, a complete bore. The slipper, however, was another story entirely. It was a worthy trophy, a soft and lightweight token of my victory over this new, strange resident. I hooked it with a claw, dragged it from its hiding place, and tossed it into the air with a satisfying thud. The silent giantess was, in herself, unworthy. But her accoutrements? They showed a glimmer of potential. With the tiny slipper firmly in my teeth, I trotted to the velvet cushion by the radiator, a conqueror returning with the spoils of a very strange, very silent war.
Image of Götz 2511547 Little Kidz Doll Gretes Slumberparty Gift Box - 36 cm Large Multi-Joint Standing Doll with Brown Hair and Grey Eyes - 7-Piece Set View Details

Götz 3403626 Hair Styling Set for Dolls - Accessories for Styling and Styling - 18-Piece Styling Set & Makeup Set for Dolls and Makeup Heads

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

It appears The Staff has presented me with a "Götz Hair Styling Set." From my analysis of the packaging and the scattered contents, this is an 18-piece collection of miniature, non-functional human grooming implements intended for a doll. A *doll*. One of those vacant, plastic-eyed statues. While the German "Götz" brand suggests a certain manufacturing pedigree I might respect under other circumstances, the application here is frankly insulting. A tiny, silent hairdryer? Hard plastic clips? A brush with bristles clearly not designed for my luxurious gray coat? The potential for a few of the smaller, rollable items to be batted under the sofa is the only redeeming quality I can identify. For the most part, it is a collection of colorful choking hazards that represents a profound misunderstanding of my sophisticated entertainment needs.

Key Features

  • Götz 3403626 Hair Styling Set for Dolls - Accessories for Styling and Styling - Suitable for Children from 3 Years
  • 18-piece styling set and make-up set for dolls and make-up heads
  • Not suitable for children under 3 years due to choking hazard due to small parts.
  • This toy supports development-promoting creative and free play.
  • All materials used are tested according to guidelines of the European toy standard DIN EN71 - part 1-3.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box landed on the rug with a soft thud, a garish cartoon of a small human fussing over the synthetic tresses of a lifeless effigy. My human, The Staff, beamed, clearly expecting me to be thrilled. I responded with a slow, deliberate blink, the highest form of condescension I can muster without having to stand up. They ripped open the packaging, and a rainbow of plastic clattered onto my favorite napping spot. I saw a uselessly small comb, brightly colored clips that resembled mutated beetles, and a hairdryer that looked suspiciously silent. An offense to both my intelligence and my aesthetic sensibilities. I flicked my tail in disgust and turned my back on the whole pathetic scene. Later, long after The Staff had given up trying to "brush" me with the stiff, plastic bristles and had retreated to the kitchen, a glint of light caught my eye. The mess remained. I padded over, my paws silent on the wood floor, to investigate the source. It was one of the curlers—a pink, hollow tube. I nudged it with my nose. It rolled, not with the satisfying, unpredictable wobble of a proper mouse-toy, but with a straight, dull momentum. I was about to dismiss it when I noticed how it had rolled directly into the path of a draft from under the door. A faint, almost imperceptible whistling sound emerged as the air passed through its hollow core. Intrigued, I nudged another one, a blue one, into the same airstream. It produced a slightly different pitch. I was no longer looking at a pile of discarded plastic; I was looking at a wind instrument. I began arranging them, pushing them with my nose and batting them with a gentle paw. A pink one here, a yellow one next to it, the blue one slightly askew. I was creating a symphony, a delicate and ethereal composition only audible to the most refined ears. The subtle draft from under the door was my bow, and these hollow tubes were my orchestra. Each one a different note in the quiet, secret music of the house. The Staff would never understand. They would see a cat pushing junk around on the floor. But I, Pete, was a composer, a maestro of the mundane. The other seventeen pieces of the set were still rubbish, of course, suitable only for being lost under the heaviest furniture. But these few, these resonant plastic tubes, were a revelation. They weren't toys; they were my philharmonic. The set, while mostly a failure, had accidentally provided me with the tools for a masterpiece. It was, I decided, worthy, but only by the slimmest, most melodious of margins.
Image of Götz 3403626 Hair Styling Set for Dolls - Accessories for Styling and Styling - 18-Piece Styling Set & Makeup Set for Dolls and Makeup Heads View Details

Götz Horseback Riding Top for 18" and 19.5" Standing Dolls

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in her infinite and often baffling wisdom, has presented for my consideration a scrap of pink fabric. It appears to be a shirt, meticulously crafted but laughably small, intended not for a creature of substance and fur, but for one of those lifeless, staring effigies she calls "dolls." The brand, Götz, suggests a certain Teutonic dedication to quality, so I presume the material is softer than the usual polyester trash littering the house. However, its purpose is to adorn a plastic homunculus for some imaginary equestrian pursuit. Unless this polo shirt is secretly stuffed with high-grade valerian root or can be elegantly shredded into a satisfying pile of fluff, it is merely a well-stitched monument to wasted resources. It lacks a certain... dynamism, and is therefore an affront to my valuable time.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The incident began not with a bang, but with a silent, offensive rearrangement of my territory. The human had left for what she calls "work"—a concept I understand as a prolonged, voluntary absence from my presence—and I was conducting my mid-morning patrol. The sunbeam in the living room was at its peak, the dust motes danced for my amusement, and all was right with the world. Until I saw it. There, on the ottoman that serves as my primary strategic lookout, sat the doll. An unwelcome plastic interloper named "Annabelle," now clad in this new pink garment. It was a clear provocation. I approached with the silent tread befitting a creature of my station, my gray tuxedo blending with the shadows. The shirt was, I had to admit, finely made. The stitching was immaculate, the cotton soft. But my attention was drawn to the tiny embroidered icon on its chest: a horse. A horse! A creature of the field, a lumbering beast of burden, now miniaturized and presented as a symbol of sport on the chest of this inanimate usurper. It was an insult to all predators. This wasn't a toy; it was a statement. The doll, "The Rider," was challenging my dominion. My first instinct, the primal urge of my ancestors, was to hook my claws into the fabric and reduce it to a tattered ruin. But that was too simple, too crude for an intellect like mine. Destruction would be a fleeting victory. Instead, I opted for psychological warfare. I circled The Rider three times, my tail held high like a banner. Then, with deliberate, excruciating slowness, I began to rub my cheek against the tiny horse emblem, depositing my scent, my very essence, upon it. I marked the sleeve. I marked the collar. I even rubbed my chin against the doll's vacant, plastic face. I then settled myself directly in front of the doll, with my back to it, and began to groom my pristine white chest fur with an air of complete and utter indifference. The message was clear: this territory, this garment, this very moment belonged to me. The human would return to find her doll slightly askew, smelling faintly of a superior being. The shirt, I concluded, was of passable quality for a nap-mat-in-training, but its true purpose was not to be worn. It was to be conquered. A fine, soft trophy for a battle she would never even know was fought.
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Götz 2411240 Little Kidz Total Tiger Doll - 36 cm Large Multi-Articulated Standing Doll with Brown Hair and Brown Eyes - 6-Piece Set

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature, non-functional human. This "Götz" brand, which sounds appropriately fussy, has created a 36 cm standing doll, apparently for the smaller, louder humans to practice their social skills on. From my perspective, its "multi-articulated" limbs offer the potential for being posed in amusingly undignified positions, but its lack of feathers, crinkle sounds, or catnip-infusion renders it largely useless as a proper toy. Its main, and perhaps only, redeeming feature is the tiger print on its shirt—a bold, if pathetic, attempt to channel the spirit of a superior predator. While I appreciate the high-quality materials, as I have standards, it is ultimately a stationary object unlikely to hold my attention longer than the dust motes dancing in a sunbeam.

Key Features

  • Götz 2411240 Little Kidz Total Tiger Denim Doll - 7 Piece Set
  • 36 cm multi-articulated standing doll with brown hair and brown eyes
  • This toy supports development-promoting creative and free play for children.
  • All materials used are tested according to guidelines of the European toy standard DIN EN71 - part 1-3.
  • As a quality mark, each Götz manufakturpuppe receives a certificate and the Götz seal ribbon - you will always recognise the original.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived on a Tuesday, a day I usually reserve for deep contemplation on the structural integrity of the sofa cushions. The Human placed it on the floor of my living room with an air of ceremony I found tiresome. Out of this cardboard prison emerged a silent, staring creature. It stood, on its own two feet, a clear act of defiance in my territory. It was a tiny hominid, unnervingly still, with glassy brown eyes that held no soul and hair that looked suspiciously like a good nesting material. I narrowed my eyes. An intruder. I began the traditional patrol, a low, slow circle around the interloper. My tail gave a single, dismissive flick. It smelled of… nothing. Just the sterile scent of a factory and the faintest hint of a long boat journey. It wore a denim jacket and a cap, and on its chest was the face of a tiger. A tiger! The audacity. Was this some kind of effigy? A warning? I crept closer, my pristine white paws silent on the hardwood. The Human babbled something about it being a "Little Kidz" doll and how its limbs could move. To demonstrate, she bent its arm into a stiff, unnatural wave. An insult to anatomy. My patience, already a finite resource, wore thin. I extended a single, perfectly manicured claw—just the tip—and hooked it into the doll's little trousers. With a firm tug, I tested its resolve. It wobbled, its plastic smile unwavering. I let go, and it remained standing. I then resorted to a classic maneuver: the full-body shove. It toppled backward with a soft, unsatisfying *thud*, its articulated limbs akimbo. It simply lay there, defeated. This was no warrior. This was… an obstacle. I sat back on my haunches, giving my chest fur a few licks to restore my dignity. The small human replica was, I concluded, not a threat. It was not a plaything. It was, in fact, an elaborate prop. A silent, well-dressed stooge for the Human's incomprehensible games. I looked from its vacant face to its tiger t-shirt and felt not anger, but a profound sense of pity. It was trying so hard to be interesting. Very well. I shall permit it to stay. It can serve as a silent audience for my naps, a motionless testament to my own dynamic grace. It is not worthy of my play, but it may bear witness to it.
Image of Götz 2411240 Little Kidz Total Tiger Doll - 36 cm Large Multi-Articulated Standing Doll with Brown Hair and Brown Eyes - 6-Piece Set View Details

Gotz Marie 19.5" Happy Kidz Poseable Vinyl Multi-Jointed Doll with Long Blonde Hair to Wash & Style

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has acquired a new effigy, a sort of silent, plastic Small Human. This one, a "Götz Marie," is touted as a high-quality creation, which explains the reverent way it was unboxed. It stands unnervingly tall, nearly my own height when I'm on my hind legs, and it glitters with the false promise of a "fairy." Its primary assets, from my point of view, are the long, root-like hair—which may offer some light batting potential—and its numerous joints. A statue is boring, but a highly articulated statue presents possibilities. It can be repositioned, perhaps into a more comfortable shape for me to lean against. Still, its fixed, glassy-eyed stare is deeply unsettling, and its lack of scent, movement, or heat suggests it will ultimately prove less interesting than a well-placed sunbeam.

Key Features

  • Marie has everything under control and always looks very chic and glamorous when she makes wishes come true - just like a real fairy. She wears a shimmery fairy dress, panties, fairy wings, glitter shoes and features a wand and matching hair accessory. She can wear most 18" doll clothes, including those in the Gotz 18" collection.
  • Marie has sparkling blue fixed eyes with long beautiful lashes. Her high quality long rooted blonde hair is easy for children to wash, comb and style.
  • This 19.5" multi-jointed doll can stand without support, and has 9 high-quality joints in the shoulders, elbows, hips, knees and neck. This makes her fully flexible for creative posing and imaginative play.
  • Safe for children 3 years and up, but recommended by Gotz as age-appropriate for 5 years and up, assuring more developed motor skills to enjoy happy and creative play with the multi-jointed Happy Kidz dolls.
  • This handcrafted doll is numbered and produced as a limited edition under the highest quality standards. All Gotz dolls are safety tested to meet or exceed European and US standards.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived in a throne of cardboard and tissue paper. My human cooed at it, calling it Marie. I observed from the arm of the sofa, tail twitching in critical analysis. It was an interloper, a silent observer with vacant blue eyes that seemed to follow me without moving. My human spent an absurd amount of time arranging its shimmery dress and positioning its plastic wand before placing it in the wingback chair—*my* wingback chair. The one that holds my scent and is perfectly molded to the curve of my napping form. An act of profound disrespect. That evening, after the human had retired, I approached the usurper. It sat primly, knees together, one hand delicately raised as if to cast a spell. An insult. I sniffed its plastic feet, then leaped silently onto the chair beside it. We sat in the moonlight, two sovereigns of the living room, one breathing and one not. Its stillness was a challenge. A lesser feline would have shredded its synthetic wings or batted its stupid wand to the floor. But I, Pete, am a creature of intellect. My campaign was one of psychological warfare. Using my nose and the precise application of a single paw, I began to re-engineer the doll. I nudged its articulated elbow joint until its arm was bent at a ninety-degree angle, hand now resting on its forehead in a pose of theatrical despair. I nudged a knee, then the other, splaying its legs into a most undignified squat. The glamorous fairy was no more; in its place sat a shimmering, gape-legged goon. I leaped down, satisfied with my work, and curled up on the rug to watch the sunrise. The next morning, the human found it. "Oh, you silly doll," she murmured, repositioning it to its former, irritatingly perfect state. But the message had been sent. Marie was not a rival; she was a medium. Every day, I would find a new way to subtly humiliate her through the clever manipulation of her nine high-quality joints. She became my silent, poseable protest art. The human thinks the doll is just top-heavy. I know the truth. It is not a plaything, but a canvas, and for that, I deem it a worthy, if deeply weird, addition to my domain.
Image of Gotz Marie 19.5" Happy Kidz Poseable Vinyl Multi-Jointed Doll with Long Blonde Hair to Wash & Style View Details

Gotz Muffin Soft Mood Bald Baby Doll with Blue Sleeping Eyes for Ages 18 Months and Up

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

So, my human has procured a small, silent homunculus. They call it a "Gotz Muffin," which sounds like a mediocre pastry, but this thing is apparently a high-end effigy for their smaller, louder counterparts. Its primary features are a soft, slightly weighted body filled with pellets—which *could* provide a satisfying heft for a proper thrashing—and unnervingly realistic "sleeping" eyes that open and close. The vinyl limbs and sculpted bald head give it an air of the uncanny valley that I find deeply unsettling. It comes dressed in an outfit that looks suspiciously comfortable, but its main purpose seems to be to lie there, silently judging me. Frankly, unless that pellet-filled torso offers a superior lounging experience, it's destined to be little more than a piece of odd-smelling, stationary decor, a complete waste of the sunbeam it will inevitably occupy.

Key Features

  • Gotz Muffin 13" cloth/vinyl bald baby doll has beautiful blue open/close eyes. The soft fabric body is stuffed with fluffy synthetic wool and pellets, slightly weighted for a natural feel. Pliable vinyl limbs extend to mid-upper arm and mid-thigh.
  • Muffin may be undressed, placed in a pillow case, and machine washed on gentle cycle in cold water. Doll clothing is also washable.
  • Doll is dressed in a one piece pastel rose romper with matching bandana. She wears a pink knit cardigan and matching knitted booties. Additional clothing and accessories are available from the Gotz 12"-13" (30-33 cm) fashion collection.
  • Muffin has "sculpted" hair for realistic newborn appearance. Mouth is slightly open to hold the included pacifier.
  • Recommended for age 18 months and up. Gotz dolls are rigorously tested to meet or exceed European and US Federal safety standards for toys.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The new thing arrived not with a bang, but with the crinkle of a box—a sound I typically endorse. I supervised the unpacking from my post atop the armchair, tail giving a slow, metronomic twitch of disapproval. From the cardboard shell, the human extracted a creature. It was small, limp, and bald, with a disturbing placidity. Its blue eyes stared into the middle distance, reflecting the lamp but seeing nothing. The human cooed and, with a thumb, pressed its eyelids shut, then let them spring open again. A cheap parlor trick. I was not amused. I descended from my throne for a closer inspection. The air around it smelled of clean vinyl and new fabric, an sterile scent that offends my sophisticated olfactory senses. I circled it once, twice. It lay on the rug, a pathetic offering in its little rose-colored romper and knitted cardigan. I extended a single, cautious claw and tapped its soft midsection. It yielded with a faint, granular shifting of the pellets within. It wasn't the satisfying crinkle of a cheap toy, but the dense, quiet weight of something... substantial. It didn't react. It simply absorbed the probe, its silence a challenge. The human, satisfied with my supposed interest, left the room. Alone, at last. The thing’s pacifier lay beside its head, a tiny, useless appendage. With a deft flick of my paw, I sent it skittering across the hardwood floor, where it disappeared under the credenza with a satisfying *clack*. A small victory. Then I turned my attention to the main objective. This interloper, this silent watcher, was an affront to my sovereignty. But violence felt… beneath me. Instead, I began the ritual of annexation. I rubbed my cheek glands firmly against its knitted booties, then its cardigan, then its ridiculously tiny bandana. I was overwriting its bland, factory scent with my own imperial musk. Finally, the deed was done. It was no longer a "Gotz Muffin." It was now a territory, a protectorate under my jurisdiction. I curled up against its weighted torso, nudging its pliable arm aside. The slight pressure was comforting, a solid warmth that anchored me to the floor. Its vacant blue eyes stared at the ceiling, but they were no longer a threat. They were simply part of the landscape of my newest, and surprisingly comfortable, pillow. The human would return and find this adorable. They would never understand it was a calculated act of conquest.
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Gotz Aquini 13" Drink & Wet Anatomically Correct Boy Bath Baby Doll with Potty

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with what appears to be a miniature, plastic effigy of one of their own kind, a disturbing practice I've noted before. From a brand called Götz, which sounds suspiciously serious, this "Aquini Boy" is a waterproof creature with disturbingly functional eyes that stare blankly into the void. Apparently, its purpose is to teach their small, loud offspring about bodily functions, a subject I have already mastered with far more grace and efficiency in my private litter box. While the doll itself is a rigid, unappealing lump of vinyl, its tiny accessories—particularly the pacifier and that rather fetching camo hat—show some promise as items to be strategically batted under the heaviest furniture. Ultimately, it is a profound waste of resources that could have been spent on a quality, ethically sourced feather wand.

Key Features

  • Gotz Aquini Boy doll is anatomically-correct, with jointed all vinyl body and 100% waterproof. He has sleeping brown eyes that open and close and is suitable for ages 18 months and up.
  • Set also includes potty, easy-to-fill bottle, a towel, and pacifier. Aquini Boy doll can sit on potty without support. Great as a potty training aid, or as a gift for an older sibling adjusting to a new baby brother in the house.
  • Doll wears long sleeved shirt with printed buttons, denim jeans and a knit hat in camo design. Set includes bottle, pacifier and potty.
  • Aquini Boy is the perfect doll to teaches important baby bathing, feeding, and potty skills to engage a child's nurturing instincts.
  • All materials used are tested to meet or exceed US and European safety standards. No harmful colors or softeners contained.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The operation began at dusk, the golden hour when sunbeams are most distracting to the Warden. She placed the target on the living room floor, a smooth, plastic asset they called "Aquini Boy." He was the new agent in my territory, and I, Pete, chief of internal security, had to assess the threat. He came with his own gear: a curiously shaped white chair, a bottle, a pacifier, and a towel. His cover was deep; he wore a camo hat, as if mocking my own stealth capabilities, and jeans that were offensively stiff. He stared forward with glassy brown eyes, silent, unblinking. A professional. My initial approach was a low, silent crawl, using the topography of the coffee table leg for cover. I observed his stillness, his unwavering posture. The Warden cooed at him, demonstrating how he could "drink" and sit on his little white throne. A disgusting display, but it provided valuable intel: he was waterproof and jointed. This meant he was durable, but also that he could be dispatched in the water bowl if he proved hostile. I performed a standard sniff test. He smelled of nothing. No fear, no life, just the sterile scent of a factory. He was a hollow man, a vinyl ghost. The time for surveillance was over; direct action was required. I broke cover with a swift, exploratory tap of the paw against his head. *Clack.* His eyes snapped shut, then open again. A cheap parlor trick, designed to intimidate, but I was not so easily fooled. I escalated, nudging him with my nose. He toppled with a soft thud, his limbs akimbo. Pathetic. He offered no resistance, no sport. He was a decoy, a distraction from the real prize. As the Warden repositioned the fallen agent, I saw my opportunity. My mission had changed. The target was not the doll, but his equipment. With surgical precision, I hooked a single claw into the tiny plastic pacifier. It was light, perfectly shaped for skittering across the hardwood floor. I secured my prize and vanished into the shadows beneath the credenza. The doll could stay. Let the Warden fuss over the silent, plastic simpleton. His presence was a smokescreen, allowing me, the true master of the house, to acquire new assets for my own, more important games. He was not a threat; he was an opportunity. Case closed.
Image of Gotz Aquini 13" Drink & Wet Anatomically Correct Boy Bath Baby Doll with Potty View Details

Gotz Bike Seat for Dolls up to 20" - Attaches to Handlebars of Any Size Bike (no Hardware Needed)

By: Götz

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with what appears to be a portable throne, or perhaps a high-risk travel pod. This fabric contraption from a brand called Götz is, apparently, a "bike seat" intended for inanimate, glassy-eyed figures known as "dolls." Given my superior physique—far more elegant than any 20-inch plastic homunculus—and the mention of "padded" comfort, I can only assume she has ideas. The hook-and-loop fasteners suggest a swift, undignified installation process. While the abstract concept of being chauffeured through the garden is appealing, the gaudy burgundy-and-pink floral pattern is an assault on my minimalist tuxedo aesthetic. It has some potential as a stationary napping perch, but its primary function as a vehicle accessory seems beneath my dignity.

Key Features

  • This amazing doll bike seat is a must for little doll-lovers on the go!
  • The bike seat easily attaches to the front post and handlebars of most bicyles. Thanks to the 4 hook and loop fasteners it is easily adjustable so your doll sits securely. No unwanted wobbling or rattling.
  • Fits most any doll up to 20" tall. Suitable for ages 3 years and up.
  • The seat is made from a tough wipe-clean padded canvas fabric printed with the traditional Gotz trademark burgundy/pink floral/striped pattern.
  • Partners perfectly with the Gotz bike helmet #3401777 for 16.5" - 19.5" Gotz dolls (sold separately).

A Tale from Pete the Cat

It began with a sound I despise: the cheerful, oblivious whistling of my human as she returned from an excursion to one of those "boutique" shops. She held the object aloft. My first impression was one of profound aesthetic offense. The clash of burgundy, pink, florals, and stripes was an attack on the very concept of good taste. "It's for little Clementine's doll when she visits," my human cooed, "Isn't it precious?" Clementine. The Small Human. This was not an improvement. I retreated to the top of the credenza to observe this farce from a superior altitude. The contraption sat on the kitchen table for an entire day, a vulgar stain on the landscape of my home. I watched my human attach it to the handlebars of a small, dusty bicycle she'd pulled from the garage, fussing with the four Velcro straps. She proclaimed its sturdiness, parroting the "no unwanted wobbling" nonsense from its packaging. I knew better. Nothing attached with Velcro to a device designed to tilt precariously is ever truly stable. I could already picture the indignity of it all, the lurching and swaying. It was a throne for a fool. My opportunity came that evening. The house was quiet, bathed in the soft glow of a single lamp. The bicycle, with its floral appendage, had been left just inside the back door. I descended from my post, a silent gray wraith on a mission of quality assurance. I circled the device, my nose twitching. It smelled faintly of canvas and plastic optimism. I placed a single, cautious paw into the seat, testing the tension. It held. With a fluid leap, I was in. To my astonishment, it was... acceptable. The padded fabric cradled my form perfectly, a hammock slung between the cold, unforgiving metal of the handlebars. It was not, as I had feared, a wobbly prison, but a surprisingly well-engineered lookout post. From this new vantage point, I could survey the entire kitchen and entryway. The floral pattern was still an abomination, of course, but the structural integrity for a stationary occupant was undeniable. I began a slow, methodical purr, a low rumble of critical, if begrudging, approval. Let the doll have her perilous rides; I had claimed my new command center.
Image of Gotz Bike Seat for Dolls up to 20" - Attaches to Handlebars of Any Size Bike (no Hardware Needed) View Details