The Staff, in a baffling display of misunderstanding my core needs, has presented a box of what appear to be miniature, inedible metal beetles. They call them "Hot Wheels." The packaging boasts of an "instant collection," as if I, a connoisseur of fine napping surfaces and premium fish pâté, would be interested in amassing trinkets. I see ten small, wheeled…
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My Human seems to believe that quantity can substitute for quality. This offering from "JOYIN" is a garishly large transport vehicle, a veritable clo…
My human, in a clear lapse of judgment, has presented me with a collection of garish plastic contraptions apparently intended for a small, clumsy hum…
My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured another item for the small, loud human. It appears to be a flat, foldable portfo…
The Human has presented me with what appears to be a mobile disaster relief team for miniature beings. It’s a set of four garish plastic contraptions…