A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Truck Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
TOMY
Tractor Loader Solves Midnight Minnow Crisis With Elegance
★★★☆☆
Beestech
Bulldozer and Excavator Liberate Blocked Food Supply
★★★☆☆
Tonka
Sunbeam Reclaimed; Dump Bed Becomes a Personal Vault
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Hot Wheels
Monster Trucks Demoted to Kibble-Retrieval Devices
Our critic ignores the Hot Wheels monster trucks entirely until one proves its value as a precision tool for rolling a stranded kibble out from under the credenza.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

So, the Human has presented me with a pair of Hot Wheels 'Monster Trucks'. As far as my discerning eye can tell, these are diminutive, garishly painted metal contraptions with absurdly large rubber wheels. They are apparently designed for small humans to smash together in some crude reenactment of vehicular combat, a concept that holds zero appeal. While th…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Hot Wheels Monster Trucks 1:64 Scale 2-Pack Assortment with Giant Wheels
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Crude but useful kibble-retrieval devices.
From The Desk
Image of KiNSMART - UPS Mercedes-Benz Sprinter + United States Postal Mail Truck Grumman LLV 5 Inch Die Cast Metal Model Toy Van & Trucks SetOf2
KiNSMART
Mail Truck Banished; Brown Van Crowned Champion of Deliveries

My Human, in a fit of what I can only assume is a misunderstanding of my core needs, has presented me with... infrastructure. These are not toys; they are small, heavy, metal effi…

★★★★☆ — Brown van worthy. The other is exiled.
More From The Desk
Image of CAT Construction Toys, CAT Dump Truck Toy Construction Vehicle – 10" Plastic Action Vehicle with Articulated Buckets for Indoor & Outdoor Play. Ages 3+
CAT
Species-Appropriating Truck Trained to Serve as My Chariot

My human has presented me with a large, garishly yellow vessel on wheels. They seem quite proud of the brand name, "CAT," which I find to be a rather…

★★★☆☆
Image of Little Tikes Cozy Truck Ride-On - Black
Little Tikes
Entombed by Tailgate, Liberated by Righteous Fury

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a "Little Tikes Cozy Truck." Apparently, it is a wheeled conveyance for the smal…

★★★☆☆
Image of Cat Construction Little Machines 5 Pack - Great Cake Toppers
CatToysOfficial
Five Yellow Machines Reduced to Beautiful Calculated Disorder

So, my human has presented me with a collection of garishly yellow contraptions, apparently from a brand named "Cat." A rather on-the-nose attempt at…

★★★☆☆
Image of JOYIN 13 in 1 Dinosaur Toys for Kids 3-5, Dinosaur Truck with 12 Pull Back Cars, Small Cars Set, Birthday Gifts Toys for 3 4 5+ Year Old Boy, Transport Carrier Truck for Toddlers 3-4 Years
JOYIN
Green Titan Toppled; Twelve Prisoners Duly Liberated

My human has presented me with what appears to be a gargantuan plastic theropod suffering from a severe case of indigestion. This "JOYIN" creation is…

★★★★☆
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