A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Hot Wheels Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
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Hot Wheels
Pest Control Dispatches the Netflix Fleet
★★★☆☆
Hot Wheels
Failed Interrogation Reveals a Far Better Game
★★★☆☆
Hot Wheels
A Superior Box With Decent Projectile Accessories
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Hot Wheels
Elaborate Reptile Shrine Yields One Worthy Floor Toy
Our critic dismisses the T-Rex playset's noisy ceremony but graciously liberates its one useful component — the tiny die-cast car — for proper floor-batting.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human seems to believe my sophisticated intellect would be stimulated by a large, plastic reptile battling a small metal thing on wheels. This "Hot Wheels City T-Rex Blaze Battle" is, in essence, a garish, noisy shrine to repetitive motion. One flings a "car" at a dinosaur to make its eyes spin, knock its teeth out, or get it "eaten" and then... expelled…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Hot Wheels Toy Car Track Set, City T-Rex Blaze Battle Playset & 1:64 Scale Die-Cast Vehicle, 18” Tall, Multiple Race Outcomes, Spinning Dinosaur Eyes
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Box worth more than its contents.
From The Desk
Image of Hot Wheels Toy Cars & Trucks 20 Pack, Set of 20 1:64 Scale Vehicles for Play or Display, Instant Collection (Styles May Vary) (Amazon Exclusive)
Hot Wheels
Twenty Tiny Cars, One Glorious Physics Engine

My human seems to believe that my sophisticated intellect can be stimulated by miniature, wheeled effigies of the noisy beasts they use to abandon me for hours at a time. This "Ho…

★★★★☆ — A splendid engine of domestic chaos.
More From The Desk
Image of Hot Wheels Toy Cars, 10-Pack of Race Cars, Includes 1:64 Scale Corvette, Lamborghini, McLaren Originals
Hot Wheels
One Bugatti Redeems Nine Unworthy Pretenders

My Human, in a fit of what I can only describe as regressive nostalgia, has procured a collection of miniature wheeled contraptions. They call them "…

★★★☆☆
Image of Hot Wheels Batman Toy Car 5-Pack, Set of 5 1:64 Scale Die-Cast Batman-Themed Vehicles Including The Batmobile
Hot Wheels
Dark Knight Fleet Inducted as Midnight Projectiles

So, the human has acquired another set of his tiny, wheeled effigies. This time, they are a "Hot Wheels Batman 5-Pack." I must admit, the aesthetic i…

★★★☆☆
Image of Hot Wheels 24-Car Random Assortment Party Pack 2014 and Newer
Hot Wheels
Twenty-Four Curling Stones Earn Conditional Residency

So, The Human has presented me with a 'party pack' of what appear to be miniature, non-edible beetles made of metal and plastic. From the 'Hot Wheels…

★★★☆☆
Image of Hot Wheels Monster Trucks 1:64 Scale 2-Pack Assortment with Giant Wheels
Hot Wheels
Monster Trucks Elevated to Instruments of Prophecy

My human seems to be contemplating a pair of small, heavy, wheeled contraptions from a brand called Hot Wheels. Ostensibly, these are for the smaller…

★★★★☆
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