My human has procured a small box containing five brightly-colored, wheeled lumps of metal. They call them "Hot Wheels," which is a tragically uninspired name. I can see they are meant to mimic the giant, noisy machines the humans use to flee the house every day. Their primary appeal, from my perspective, is their potential for high-velocity travel across t…
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So, my staff has presented me with a box of what appear to be miniature, wheeled monstrosities from the "DINOBROS" brand—a name that already sets my …
My human, in their infinite and often baffling wisdom, has presented me with what appears to be a bulk shipment of tiny, plastic annoyances from a br…
My Human has acquired what appears to be a monument to poor taste and loud noises. It is a large, plastic reptile of offensive coloration, apparently…
So, my human, in a fit of what I can only describe as quantitative overcompensation, has acquired a veritable swarm of these "Benzem" pull-back cars.…