My Human, in a baffling lapse of judgment, has procured this… object. They call it a 'sensory toy,' presumably for some yet-to-be-seen tiny human, given its garish colors and desperate plea for attention. It's a chaotic jumble of silicone nubs and plastic rings, designed for gumming by a creature with no teeth. While the concept of a 'teether' is frankly re…
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My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what is, insultingly, a toy for a human infant. It's called an "Oball" …
My human has presented me with a collection of four transparent plastic spheres from the "Munchkin" corporation—a name I associate with the small, lo…
My human seems to have acquired yet another piece of plastic detritus, this one from a brand called "Baby Einstein," a name I find deeply patronizing…
So, you want my opinion on this… thing. Very well. From what I can gather, this "Outstanding Opus The Octopus" is yet another plastic bauble from the…
My human seems to believe my sophisticated intellect can be stimulated by what appears to be a cage for a very small, very colorful alien. It’s a "Wi…