A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Sorter Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Amazon Basics
Amazon Basics Accidentally Manufactures a Chaos Instrument
★★★☆☆
Sassy
No Real Fish, But Excellent Chaseable Prey Simulation
★★★★☆
ETI Toys
Unbreakable Vault Cracked by Feline Safecracker
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Fisher-Price
Shape-Sorter Doctrine Corrected by Strategic Clutter Expert
Pete dismisses the infant sorting ritual as tedious idolatry, then liberates all ten shapes from the bucket and deploys them as agents of magnificent domestic disruption.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My Human has brought yet another noisy plastic contraption into my domain, ostensibly for the small, loud, hairless kitten they call a "baby." It's a garish bucket with a lid full of holes, accompanied by ten hollow plastic shapes. The stated purpose is for the infant to learn by pushing these shapes through the matching holes—a tedious and ultimately point…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Fisher-Price Stacking Toy Baby's First Blocks Set of 10 Shapes for Sorting Play for Infants Ages 6+ Months
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
Not a sorter. A masterwork of chaos.
From The Desk
Image of Melissa & Doug Shape Sorting Cube - Classic Wooden Toy With 12 Shapes Classic Kids Toys, Wooden Toddler Toys, Shape Sorter For Toddlers Ages 2+
Melissa & Doug
Wooden Prison Breached; Twelve Inmates Now at Large

So, my Human has presented me with this wooden cube from the Melissa & Doug conglomerate, an entity known for producing sturdy, well-sanded objects ostensibly for the clumsy minia…

★★★★☆ — Worthy for domestic disruption. Highly.
More From The Desk
Image of Melissa & Doug Match and Roll Shape Sorter - Classic Wooden Toy, 12+ months, 1 piece
Melissa & Doug
Wooden Cylinder Reclassified as Mobile Siege Engine

My staff, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, have presented me with what appears to be a learning device for a very simple-minded, miniatu…

★★★★☆
Image of Battat – Shape Sorter – Colorful Sorting Toy – 3 Shapes & Sounds – Educational & Developmental Toy for Toddlers – 18 Months + – Shapes and Sound Sorter
Battat
Shapes Dismissed; Bead-Box Retained as Fine Percussion

So, the human has presented me with this... contraption. It’s a clunky plastic box from a brand called Battat, a known purveyor of amusements for clu…

★★★☆☆
Image of Melissa & Doug K's Kids Take-Along Shape Sorter Baby Toy with 2-Sided Activity Bag and 9 Textured Shape Blocks
Melissa & Doug
Crinkly Map Discovered; Cartographic Conquest Commences

My human, in a moment of questionable judgment, has presented me with what appears to be a soft, lumpy satchel designed for a small, drooling human. …

★★★★☆
Image of B. toys- Wonder Cube- Developmental Toy- Wooden Shape Sorter Cube – 9 Colorful Shapes – Educational Wooden Toy for Toddlers, Kids – 18 Months +
B. toys
Cube Is Merely an Armory the Humans Don't Know About

My Human has presented me with what they call a "Wonder Cube" from a brand named B. toys, which seems to specialize in contraptions for the less-coor…

★★★★☆
Image of PEBIRA Montessori Toys for 1 to 3-Year-Old Boys Girls Toddlers, Wooden Sorting & Stacking Toys for Toddlers and Kids Preschool, Educational Color Recognition Shape Sorter, Learning Puzzles Gift
Wooden Shapes Deployed as Precision Projectiles Across Domain

My Human seems to believe my intellect is on par with one of their tiny, loud counterparts, presenting me with this... 'toy.' It is, from what I can …

★★★☆☆
Other Desks In This Section
⬆ Up a level
About Pete Printed daily, ignored nightly Privacy Policy