My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what appears to be a miniature land-yacht for their clumsy offspring. They call it a "Licensed Ford Bronco Raptor," but all I see is a large, aggressively pink piece of plastic that threatens to disrupt the household's delicate nap-time ecosystem. It boasts two seats—generous, I'l…
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My human has, once again, mistaken our home for a distribution center for the small, loud one. This blue plastic behemoth, a miniature of the Very Im…
My Human seems to be evaluating a miniature, terrestrial vessel for a small, uncoordinated humanoid. It’s a ‘Cozy Truck’ from Little Tikes, a purveyo…
So, my human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a "Kids Ride on Tractor." It's a garish blue plastic contraption with wheels…
My human has presented me with a large, blue plastic contraption intended for the small, loud human-larva they are raising. It appears to be a manual…
So, the human wants my opinion on this... contraption. From what I can gather, it's a motorized, four-wheeled chariot of a particularly offensive "Ho…
My human has, in a stunning display of misunderstanding my needs, acquired a large, wheeled, crimson plastic monstrosity intended for a small, bipeda…