Pete's Expert Summary
My human, in their infinite... simplicity, has acquired what appears to be a rudimentary puzzle for a creature with far fewer brain cells than myself. It's a "Sassy Stacks of Circles," a vertical storage solution for various plastic rings intended for a human kitten, given the garish colors and the implication that "mouthing" it is a feature. While the intended purpose of stacking them in a specific order is an affront to any being with a shred of dignity, I will concede a few points. The textural variety on the rings might offer a novel cheek-rubbing experience, and the clear one with the rattling beads inside has the basic DNA of a proper toy. However, the true potential here lies not in assembly, but in glorious, widespread disassembly across the living room floor. A momentary diversion, perhaps, but hardly a challenge for a superior intellect.
Key Features
- Straight post accepts different sized rings, strengthening hand-eye coordination
- Chunky rings make it easy for baby to grasp, strengthening fine motor skills
- Each ring features a different texture and weight; Textural variety is great for mouthing.
- Colorful beads in the clear ring allowing baby to connect the sound to sight
- 9 piece set
- Manufacturer Age: 6 to 24 months. BPA Free
A Tale from Pete the Cat
It appeared in the corner of the sunbeam, an obelisk of offensively bright plastic. My human placed it there with a hopeful look I’ve learned to associate with imminent disappointment. A tower of circles. How pedestrian. I gave it a cursory sniff, twitched my whiskers in disdain, and settled into the warm patch of floor for a nap, dismissing it as another piece of colorful landfill-in-training. My nap, however, was not one of blissful silence. It was a journey. I drifted not through familiar dreamscapes of chasing sunbeams or feasting on spectral tuna, but into a silent, black cosmos. Before me hung a planetary system, orbiting a star of pure, stable white. There was the gas giant, a swirl of angry orange. Next, a world of deep blue, its surface ridged with mountain ranges I could feel against my ethereal paws. A verdant green planet hummed with life, and a chunky yellow one felt strangely porous and light, as if made of sponge-rock. But one planet called to me—a crystalline sphere, perfectly clear, filled with a nebula of tiny, rattling asteroid-gems that chimed with the music of creation every time the system shifted. As the master of this celestial sphere, I saw a flaw in its design. The alignment was clumsy, the gravitational pull all wrong. The music was discordant. With a flick of my cosmic tail, I nudged the orange giant out of orbit. With a gentle push of my nose, I rearranged the blue and green worlds. My mission was singular: to bring the crystalline planet, the source of the cosmic chime, to the forefront of the system, to let its music ring true and clear. I nudged and batted and rearranged until the harmony was perfect, the system a testament to my impeccable design. I awoke with a start. The sunbeam had shifted. And there, scattered across the floor in a perfect, sweeping arc around me, were the rings from the plastic tower. The orange one was by the couch leg, the blue and green nestled together near the rug's edge, and resting directly between my paws, humming with a faint rattling sound as I breathed, was the clear ring filled with its little plastic beads. The tower's central post lay toppled and defeated. I blinked slowly, a smirk playing on my lips. Some beings merely dream. I, however, make my dreams a reality. The toy was, against all odds, worthy. Not as a tower, but as a universe in need of a proper god.