A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Stroller Toy Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Lamaze
Freddie the Firefly: Shrine, Chew Toy, Oracle
★★★★☆
Skip Hop
The Rattling Soul of This Avocado Belongs to Me
★★★★☆
Melissa & Doug
One Magnificent Crinkle Saves the Crimson Hydra
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Itzy Ritzy
Ribbons Redeem an Otherwise Garish Rainbow Contraption
Our critic condemns the pastel excess but grants a grudging stay of execution to the grosgrain ribbons, which prove the real story beneath the cloying cloud and jingling moon.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has procured a plush, coiled serpent of a toy, ostensibly for the tiny, loud human she sometimes brings into my domain. The brand, “Itzy Ritzy,” inspires little confidence, sounding like something that would fall apart after one well-aimed swat. It’s a chaotic jumble of a pastel rainbow, a cloying cloud, and a shiny moon, all designed to wrap aroun…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Itzy Ritzy Spiral Car Seat & Stroller Activity Toy - Stroller & Car Seat Toys for Ages 0 Months and Up - Hanging Toys Include Clinking Rings, Mirror and Textured Ribbons (Rainbow)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
The ribbons alone earn their keep.
From The Desk
Image of FPVERA Spiral Car Seat & Stroller Activity Toy - Baby Sensory Toys Soft Hanging Toys for Babies 0-12 Months Boys Girls Carseat Crib Stroller, with Ringing Bell, Music
FPVERA
Court Jester Earns a Post on the Armchair Leg

My Staff has, in their infinite and often baffling wisdom, procured what appears to be a plush, multi-limbed serpent designed for a small, loud human. The FPVERA brand is unknown …

★★★☆☆ — Passable pre-nap warm-up, nothing more.
More From The Desk
Image of Infantino Stretch & Spiral Activity Toy - Textured Play Activity Toy for Sensory Exploration and Engagement, Ages 0 and Up, Blue Farm, 1 Count (Pack of 1)
Infantino
Liberation Mission Becomes Gladiatorial Triumph

My human has presented me with a product from "Infantino," a brand that foolishly believes its purpose is "happy parenting" when it should clearly be…

★★★★☆
Image of Itzy Ritzy Bitzy Traveler Car Seat & Stroller Toy for Babies – Developmental Sensory Toy Features Crinkle & Rattle Sounds & Multiple Textures –Hanging Travel Toy for On-the-Go Entertainment (Dinosaur)
Itzy Ritzy
Dinosaur Defeated, Dragged Triumphantly to the Sunbeam

My human seems to have acquired this… *object*… under the false pretense that it is for a "baby." A fatal flaw in their logic, as I am the only one i…

★★★☆☆
Image of Lynncare Adjustable Arch Bassinet Toys for Infant & Toddlers, Stroller Arch, Baby Crib Toys with Fascinating Hanging for Stimulating Baby’s Senses and Developing Motor Skills
Lynncare
Gymnasium of Perpetual Annoyance Earns a Permanent Lease

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a device intended for a creature of far less sophistication than myself: a baby.…

★★★☆☆
Image of Skip Hop Bandana Buddies Baby Activity and Teething Toy with Multi-Sensory Rattle and Textures, Elephant
Skip Hop
Warped Mirror Reveals a God; Elephant Gets a Pardon

My human, in a display of either profound misunderstanding or passive-aggressive mockery, has presented me with an artifact clearly intended for a le…

★★★☆☆
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