So, the Provider has presented me with a large, garishly yellow sarcophagus from the 'LEGO' dynasty, a known purveyor of small, sharp-edged floor hazards. Inside are 484 plastic bits in a riot of colors, supposedly for the 'imaginative play' of the smaller humans—a term which I believe translates to 'making a colossal mess.' While the notion of constructing…
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My human seems to have acquired a box of small, hard plastic bits that are apparently meant to entertain one of its own kind. It's a LEGO kit, which …
My human seems to have acquired a box of what I can only describe as deconstructed mice. Apparently, these are "LEGO F1 Race Cars," which require ass…
My human, in their endless and often misguided quest to please me, has procured a box of what appear to be colorful, flat, plastic wafers. They call …
My human has brought home a box of what they call a "toy," which appears to be nothing more than thousands of tiny, sharp-edged plastic bricks. The g…
My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with a box of tiny, colorful plastic bits. The stated purpose is for some bi…