A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Specialty Set Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: Hayes
Number 1 Claimed; Remaining 499 Left to Their Fate
Our critic ignores the raffle premise, curates 500 identical red spheres to find the pristine alpha, and hides Number 1 under the ottoman as a singular, magnificent acquisition.

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured what appears to be a laughable abundance of identical red spheres. The packaging suggests they are for some sort of primitive human ritual involving chance and loud shouting, likely called a "raffle." From my perspective, it's an absurd quantity of potential clutter. However, their durable…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Hayes Specialties Corp. Red Raffle Balls Number 1 Set (1-500)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Pointless, durable, utterly magnificent.
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