A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Monopoly Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Monopoly
Gray Oracle Efficiently Manufactures One Sad, Pettable Human
★★★★☆
Hasbro
Race Car Acquired; Silver Skyscraper Deemed Structurally Unsound
★★★☆☆
Hasbro Gaming
Owl Post Toppled; Thestral Token Sent Into Exile
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Monopoly
Silver Penguin Liberated in a Flawless Midnight Heist
Pete surveys the token lineup with predatory calm and executes a single-claw hook that spirits the penguin under the credenza while the humans argue over Baltic Avenue rent.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented a large, flat box containing what appears to be a highly structured system for generating loud noises and flinging small objects. From my observations, this "Monopoly" involves a foldable paper plain, stacks of flimsy, colorful slips that lack the satisfying heft of a proper bird, and a collection of tiny, metallic idols. The humans m…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Monopoly Game, Family Board Games for 2 to 6 Players & Kids Ages 8 and Up, Includes 8 Tokens (Token Vote Edition)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★★
The heist is perfect.
From The Desk
Image of Monopoly The 1980's Edition With Original 1980's Artwork & Components incl. All Classic Tokens, by Winning Moves Games USA, Classic Family Board Game with Classic Tokens, for 2 to 8 Players, Ages 8+
KToyoung
Scotty Dog Vanquished; Luxury Tax Square Claimed as Throne

My human has unearthed yet another box of organized chaos, a relic they call "Monopoly," this one apparently from an ancient epoch known as "The 1980s." It seems to involve pushin…

★★★★☆ — Rival vanquished. Territory confirmed as mine.
More From The Desk
Image of Monopoly Board Game | Classic Game with Storage Tray and Larger Tokens | Ages 8+ | 2 to 6 Players | Family Games for Kids and Adults | Kids Gifts
Monopoly
Hazel the Imposter Cat Token Imprisoned Without Parole

My human has presented me with another one of their bafflingly complex ritual objects. They call it "Monopoly," a flat, foldable territory map where …

★★★★★
Image of Monopoly Deal Card Game, Quick-Playing Family Game, 2-5 Players, Fun Summer Activities, Vacation Travel Essentials, Ages 8+
Monopoly
Paper Empire Scattered; Deal Breaker Pinned Under White Paw

My human presented me with this small, rectangular box, babbling about "family game night" and "fast-dealing fun." I see it for what it is: a collect…

★★★☆☆
Image of Monopoly House of the Dragon Edition Board Game | Based on the Hit TV Series | Ages 17 and Up | 2 to 6 Players | Strategy Games (Amazon Exclusive)
Monopoly
Treasury Scattered as Market Correction; Salmon Tribute Secured

My human, in a fit of what can only be described as brand loyalty to a television program about angry people and lizards, has acquired this box. It a…

★★★★☆
Image of Monopoly National Parks 2020 Edition | Featuring Over 60 National Parks from Across The United States | Iconic Locations Such as Yellowstone, Yosemite, Grand Canyon, and More | Licensed Monopoly Game
USAOPOLY
Pewter Bison Poached; Grand Canyon Deemed Irrelevant

So, the humans have acquired another one of their colorful, flat squares for ritualized sitting. This one, by a company called USAOPOLY, appears to b…

★★★★☆
Image of WS Game Company Monopoly Vintage Bookshelf Edition
Dog Exiled, Houses Scattered, Linen Box Claimed as Suite

My human seems to believe I have an opinion on *their* toys, which is a laughable premise. This particular object is a deceptive book-box, clearly de…

★★★★☆
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