Pete's Expert Summary
My human has presented a large, flat box containing what appears to be a highly structured system for generating loud noises and flinging small objects. From my observations, this "Monopoly" involves a foldable paper plain, stacks of flimsy, colorful slips that lack the satisfying heft of a proper bird, and a collection of tiny, metallic idols. The humans move these idols around the plain according to arcane rules, becoming agitated about "rent" and "going to jail," a place I assume has an inferior selection of sunbeams. The primary appeal for a feline of my stature lies not in the incomprehensible goal of accumulating paper, but in the tactical potential of the components. The small plastic houses are perfectly sized for batting under the heaviest furniture, and the shiny metal tokens—a penguin and a battleship, in particular—hold a certain promise for a midnight skitter-chase across the hardwood floors. The rest of it seems a colossal waste of energy that could be better spent sleeping.
Key Features
- FAST-DEALING PROPERTY TRADING GAME: It’s a Family Game Night staple! Players buy, sell, dream, and scheme their way to riches with the Monopoly board game
- BUY, SELL, AND TRADE TO WIN: Players compete to buy out neighborhoods, sell properties, charge rent, and grow an empire in the Monopoly game for adults and kids ages 8 and up
- BUILD HOUSES AND HOTELS: Love that feeling when an opponent lands on an owned property? In this be-loved family board game, the more players build, the more rent money they can collect. Cha-ching!
- WHAT’S YOUR TOKEN?: Includes 8 tokens: the Top Hat, Rubber Ducky, Scotty, Hazel, Race Car, Penguin, Battleship and either the Thimble
- FAMILY GAME NIGHT FAVORITE: With its classic Monopoly gameplay, this Monopoly board game is a go-to game for Family Game Night or anytime indoor fun, and it makes a great gift for families and kids
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The ritual began, as it always does, with the ceremonial unfurling of the great, colorful square. My human and her associates called it "Game Night," a phrase I understood to mean "the evening the entire coffee table is rendered uninhabitable." This time, however, the table was not the target. My target was on the board itself. They laid out their little metal avatars, and my eyes, pupils narrowing to slits, locked onto a new piece I had not seen before. It was a perfect, silver penguin. A flightless, foolish-looking bird, captured in metal, just begging to be liberated. I executed a classic flanking maneuver, circling the perimeter of the living room from behind the sofa, my gray tuxedo blending into the evening shadows. The humans were distracted, arguing over who had short-changed whom on a property of "Baltic Avenue," a place that sounded drafty and unpleasant. The penguin sat precariously close to the edge of the board, its owner momentarily engrossed in counting a stack of orange paper. This was my window. The air was thick with the scent of opportunity and, faintly, pizza. With a silent leap, I was on the arm of the chair. I held my position, a coiled spring of predatory intent, waiting for the precise moment of maximum distraction. It came when someone landed on a rival's territory laden with little red hotels. A howl of despair went up. In that instant, my paw shot out, a gray blur of purpose. I did not swat. I *hooked*. A single claw, extended with surgical precision, snagged the base of the metal penguin. A gentle tug was all it took. It toppled from the board and fell silently onto the plush rug below, its capture completely unnoticed in the human drama. I retrieved my prize and spirited it away to my lair beneath the credenza. Later, I would hear them ask, "Has anyone seen the penguin?" I, of course, was curled on a cushion across the room, giving my softest, most innocent purr. They would never find their bird. The game itself is a baffling and pointless human endeavor. But as a high-stakes arena for planning and executing a flawless heist? It is a masterpiece of design. It provides the stage, the props, and the distracted guards. For that, it has earned my highest commendation.
