A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: University Games

University Games, Pizza Party Dice Game, Dice Game for Kids and Families, Ages 6+

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

My human presented this "Pizza Party Dice Game," a title that promises olfactory delight but delivers only plastic and disappointment. There is no actual pizza involved, a flaw so fundamental it borders on criminal negligence. Instead, the oversized primates roll ten little cubes with crude drawings of toppings on them, trying to match them to flimsy cardboard triangles. While their pointless ritual is a bore, the dice themselves hold promise. They are small, numerous, and make a most satisfying clatter on the hardwood floor. Should one escape the designated "play area," it might just prove to be a worthy adversary for a post-nap batting session. The rest of it—the cards, the rules, the human-centric "fun"—is merely packaging for these ten potentially excellent floor toys.

Key Features

  • Engaging Dice Game: University Games presents a fast and exciting dice game suitable for kids and families, offering a delightful blend of entertainment and learning.
  • Fast Fun with Dice and Cards: Just roll the dice to complete a slice. Continue until your entire pizza is complete. The first player to complete a pizza wins.
  • Two Player Game: This game is for 2 players. If you have more than 2 players, you'll need more than one game!
  • On-the-Go Entertainment: Perfect for travel, this dice game is a portable delight for kids and families. Keep the fun going wherever you are, whether it's a road trip or a vacation destination.
  • Pizza Party Extravaganza: Turn game night into a pizza party! Roll the dice and enjoy the interactive process of making your own pizza, adding an extra layer of enjoyment to the gameplay.
  • Suitable for All Ages: A family-friendly dice game that accommodates a wide age range, making it an ideal choice for both preschoolers and older kids aged 3-5. Everyone can join in on the fun! Add more players by adding additional copies of the game.
  • Rainy Day Entertainment: This screen-free dice game is the perfect solution for indoor fun on rainy days. Keep kids entertained and engaged without the need for electronic devices.
  • Includes: 10 Pizza Toppings Dice, 40 Pizza Slice Cards, Storage Case, Instructions

A Tale from Pete the Cat

I observed the ceremony from my velvet throne—an armchair that gets the best of the afternoon sun. The human and a smaller, louder version of the human laid out the artifacts on the low table. First came the forty triangular parchments, arranged in a great circle. Then, from a clear plastic reliquary, they produced the Oracle Bones. Ten of them, small and white, covered in cryptic, colorful sigils: the sliced circle of the Pepperoni, the squat form of the Mushroom, the verdant slash of the Green Pepper. It was, I deduced, a complex and deeply serious divination ritual. The high priestess—my primary human—began the incantation. "Ready, set, Pizza Party!" she chanted, a meaningless string of sounds. Then the chaos began. They shook the ten Oracle Bones in their cupped paws, a rattling prayer, and cast them across the table. They shouted their needs to the uncaring ceiling. "I need an olive!" the small one shrieked. "Just one more cheese!" the larger one groaned. They were trying to interpret the will of the Great Provider, to assemble a worthy offering on their triangular parchments based on the random patterns of the Bones. Their desperation was palpable, their methods crude. I watched, my tail giving a slow, judgmental twitch. This was no way to conduct a sacred rite. There was no quiet contemplation, no dignified reverence. It was all speed and noise, a frantic scrabbling for symbols. They were missing the point entirely. The Bones were not a tool for frantic competition; they were objects of power, meant to be appreciated for their form, their weight, their satisfying "skitter" across a polished wooden surface. Their frenzied rolling was an insult to the very essence of the artifacts. Suddenly, a sign. During a particularly vigorous cast, one of the Bones—a handsome specimen bearing the noble mark of the Onion—leapt from the designated ceremonial space. It spun through the air in a graceful arc and landed with a soft *click* on the floor, mere inches from my perch. The humans, lost in their noisy ritual, didn't notice its escape. It was a clear offering, a plea from the universe for me to intervene and restore some dignity to the proceedings. I descended from my throne with practiced silence. With a single, perfectly manicured white paw, I gently tapped the Bone. It slid beautifully, a whisper of sound against the wood grain, before coming to rest in the shadows beneath the bookshelf. I had rescued it, liberated it from the chaos and given it sanctuary. The humans could continue their pointless game, but I possessed the true prize. The ritual, as far as I was concerned, was a resounding success.
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University Games, Flickin Chicken Indoor Outdoor Target Toss Game, The Go Anywhere Game for 2 or More Players Ages 6 and Up

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

My human seems to believe my opinion is required for their latest acquisition, a box labeled "Flickin' Chicken." Based on the frantic pointing and the contents they've strewn across my living room floor, this is a "game" for them. The premise appears to involve hurling small, rubbery fowl at a plastic disc. While the organized flinging and subsequent score-keeping is a display of primate absurdity I have no time for, I will concede a flicker of interest in the projectiles themselves. A rubber chicken, while a grotesque mockery of a noble bird, has a certain tactile potential. Its erratic bounce and chewable nature might offer a brief, satisfying interlude between more important activities, such as grooming and sleeping in a sunbeam.

Key Features

  • Versatile Rubber Chicken Fun: Experience the unique thrill of rubber chicken tossing - they bounce, they roll, but can you hit the target in this super fun game?
  • Family-Friendly Outdoor Entertainment: Join the fun with Flickin' Chicken, a fantastic addition to your collection of kids' outdoor toys, providing enjoyment for the entire family.
  • Perfect for Various Settings: Take the game beyond your backyard! Ideal for family outings, tailgating, the park, the beach, and camping, this is the ultimate twist on cornhole competition
  • Great for all ages: Tailored for kids ages 6 and up as well as teens and adults, this outdoor game accommodates 2 to 4 players.
  • Easy Scorekeeping: Keep track of the action with the included score pad, adding a competitive edge to the game as players aim for precision in their rubber chicken throws.
  • Year-Round Entertainment: Whether indoors or outdoors, Flickin' Chicken provides year-round entertainment, offering a hilarious and exciting activity for family and friends during any season.
  • Play Anywhere: Perfect for the backyard, park, beach, tailgate, camping, or even indoors.
  • Easy to Learn: Flick your chicken, aim for the target, and score the lowest to win!
  • Complete Game Set: Includes 4 rubber chickens, target disc, score pad, and instructions

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived on a Tuesday, a day typically reserved for staring out the window and silently judging the inferior hunting skills of the neighborhood squirrels. The human tore open the cardboard conveyance with a glee usually reserved for the opening of a can of tuna. Inside were four of the most undignified creatures I had ever laid eyes on: small, brightly colored chickens made of a strange, pliable material. Along with them was a flat blue disc, which the human placed in the middle of the rug with an air of great ceremony. I remained impassive on my velvet cushion, feigning sleep, but one eye was cracked open, observing the impending foolishness. The ritual began. The human and its mate stood on opposite sides of the room, taking turns lobbing the rubber poultry through the air. The chickens flew with a clumsy wobble, landing with a soft *thwack* before bouncing and rolling in wildly unpredictable directions. The humans howled with laughter, their throws consistently missing the blue disc by an embarrassing margin. It was, I noted with detached amusement, like watching two infants trying to thread a needle in a hurricane. This was not a game of skill. It was a celebration of incompetence. When they finally tired of their game and left the room, a lone red chicken remained near the leg of the coffee table. I descended from my throne, my paws silent on the rug. I circled the object, sniffing. It smelled of factory plastic and the faint, salty scent of human hands. I gave it a tentative pat. It skittered away, tumbling end over end with a muffled, rubbery sound. Intriguing. I pounced, my hunter's instincts momentarily overriding my deep-seated cynicism. I pinned it with my front paws, biting down gently. The texture was... exquisite. Firm, yet yielding. It was a perfect victim, offering no struggle, no messy feathers, only a satisfying resistance against my teeth. I picked it up and trotted away, its rubbery head bobbing with each step. The humans could have their silly disc and their pointless rules. Their game was an insult to anyone with a modicum of predatory grace. But this small, ridiculous, and wonderfully portable bird was another matter entirely. I deposited it in my secret stash behind the bookshelf, a worthy trophy from a day of baffling human behavior. It was a keeper. The chicken, that is. The game can be returned to sender.
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University Games, Scholastic Math Match Travel Dice Game, Mathematics Reinforcement Game for Kids, for 2 or More Players Ages 5 and Up

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

It appears my Staffer has procured yet another so-called "educational" contraption from a brand named "University Games," which sounds dreadfully formal and entirely devoid of fun. It's a 'Math Match Travel Dice Game,' endorsed by some entity called 'Scholastic,' clearly designed to trick the smaller, louder human into performing menial calculations. While the entire premise of "gameschooling" sounds like a transparent and frankly pathetic attempt to make drudgery appealing, I must concede a professional interest in the primary components. The small, geometric objects they call 'dice' have immense potential for being batted under the heaviest furniture, and the 'travel' nature of the product suggests a compact container perfect for being knocked off a high shelf. The rest of it—the numbers, the cards, the 'learning'—is an utter waste of my valuable napping time.

Key Features

  • Scholastic Endorsement: Enjoy the ultimate mental math match with the University Games Scholastic Math Match Dice and Card Game, backed by Scholastic – the world's largest publisher and distributor of children's books and learning materials. Trust in a game that aligns with educational excellence.
  • Gameschooling Excellence: Elevate your learning experience with gameschooling at its best! Reinforce addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division skills in a thrilling and engaging way. The Math Match game transforms learning into a fun-filled adventure for kids ages 5 to 12.
  • Inclusive Age Range: Tailored for kids ages 5 to 12, this game is designed to accommodate a broad age range, making it suitable for kids of all ages. Whether playing solo or with friends, the Math Match game provides a dynamic learning experience.
  • Solo or Competitive Play: Enjoy the flexibility of playing solo or competitively. The Math Match Dice and Card Game caters to individual learning preferences, allowing for a customized and enjoyable gaming experience.
  • Beginner-Friendly Skill Level: With a skill level classified as beginner, this game is perfect for introducing foundational math concepts to young learners. The approachable nature of the game ensures that kids can grasp and enjoy the learning process.
  • Engaging Educational Fun: Transform math practice into an engaging and entertaining activity. The Math Match game combines learning and fun, encouraging active participation and enhancing mental math skills in an interactive way.
  • Dynamic Learning Experience: Immerse kids in a dynamic learning experience that goes beyond traditional methods. The game's innovative approach makes math exciting, fostering a positive attitude towards learning and skill development.
  • Scholastic Quality Assurance: Rest easy knowing that the Scholastic Math Match Dice and Card Game meets the highest standards of educational quality. Backed by Scholastic, this game is a reliable choice for parents and educators seeking effective learning tools.
  • Educational Reinforcement: Provide kids with a valuable tool for reinforcing essential math skills. The Math Match game offers an enjoyable and effective way to enhance addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division skills, setting the stage for academic success.
  • Watch our video to see the game being played!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The thing arrived in a small, zippered pouch, a vessel of mild interest that was immediately claimed by the Kneecap-High Nuisance. She unzipped it with the frantic energy of a squirrel, spilling its contents onto the rug in my favorite sunbeam. My nap was disturbed not by a squeak or a crinkle, but by the dry, ominous clatter of tiny, numbered cubes. They were the dice. And I, from my regal position on the ottoman, immediately understood their true purpose. This was not a game of arithmetic; it was a ritual of divination. I watched as the Tall One and the Nuisance attempted to commune with the artifacts. They would roll the dice, stare at a "target" card, and then clumsily push the cubes around, mumbling about 'addition' and 'subtraction.' Fools. They couldn't see the prophecies unfolding before them. A '5' and a '2' on the dice, with a target of '7'? That wasn't math. It was a clear forecast that my dinner would be served at 7 PM, composed of five parts pâté and two parts gravy. They completely missed the point, declaring themselves 'winners' and moving on. Their primitive ritual continued for what felt like an eternity. They were so focused on their simplistic 'rules' that they ignored the deeper cosmic truths the dice were revealing: a '10' minus a '4' was an omen that the inferior dog next door would bark for precisely six minutes that afternoon. The multiplication cards were obviously advanced astrological charts. I sighed, a long, weary exhalation of superior intellect. Leaving such powerful tools in the hands of these simpletons was a cosmic injustice. Eventually, the Nuisance was distracted by a dust bunny, and the Tall One left the room to fetch juice, leaving the oracle unattended. I descended from my perch, my paws silent on the rug. The target card was '9'. The dice lay scattered: a '6', a '3', and a '5'. With the deft touch of a seasoned mystic, I nudged the superfluous '5' away with my nose. The remaining '6' and '3' now perfectly aligned with the target. I had restored order to their chaotic ceremony. As a reward for my services, I hooked the bright red '6' die with a single claw and batted it deep under the sofa, rescuing it for my own private consultations later. The game is beneath me, but its components have a certain… prophetic quality. It is worthy, but only as a source of arcane tools for a being who can truly understand them.
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University Games Dog Man Hot Dog Card Game in a Tin , The Fast and Frenzied Collection Game for Kids Featuring Art from the Dog Man Books by Dav Pilkey, for Players Ages 6 and Up

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in a move that demonstrates a profound misunderstanding of my refined tastes, has acquired something from a company called "University Games." The name alone suggests a lack of frivolous, instinct-driven fun. It's a card game in a small tin, centered around a grotesque canine-human hybrid and its vulgar obsession with processed meat tubes called "hot dogs." The entire premise is an affront to my sensibilities. However, I've gleaned that a fellow feline named Petey is a key figure—a chaos agent who thwarts the canine's efforts. This is a commendable feature. While the frantic human hand-flapping this game encourages seems tiresome, the metal tin itself has some potential for batting practice across the hardwood floors, and the narrative of a cat frustrating a dog is, I admit, universally appealing.

Key Features

  • DOG MAN LOVES HOT DOGS! The player who collects the most hot dog cards wins in this fun card game based on the popular book series by Dav Pilkey.
  • FUN GAMEPLAY: Experience the thrill of the chase for hot dogs with whimsical characters from the Dog Man book series by Dav Pilkey.
  • PERFECT GIFT: Ideal for Dog Man enthusiasts or families looking for a delightful and engaging game to enjoy during game nights or as a gift for young readers and game lovers.
  • FAMILY FUN: Perfect for game night! The Dog Man Hot Dog Game is designed for 2 to 4 players, ages 5 and up.
  • VIBRANT & PORTABLE: Enclosed in a travel size tin, this game is not only entertaining but also convenient for on-the-go play during trips or outings.
  • BASED ON DOG MAN: The Dog Man Hot Dog card game is based on the wildly popular graphic novel series by Dav Pilkey.
  • UNIQUE GAME PLAY: Players spread all 64 cards face down in the play area. Players take turns turning over cards. If a hot dog is turned, it remains face up. If a Dog Man card is turned over, players race to collect as many hot dogs as possible, one at a time. If Petey is turned over, all hot dog cards are turned back over. The player to collect the most hot dogs cards wins!
  • EASY TO LEARN: The game rules are simple -- start playing in less than five minutes! The game includes 64 cards, a storage tin and instructions.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The house was dark, save for the single beam of moonlight striping the living room rug—my personal hunting ground. The humans had retired, leaving their new trinket on the low table, a glinting metallic rectangle. They called it a game, but I saw it for what it was: a vault. A mystery. I leaped onto the table, my paws making no sound, and circled the tin. It was cool to the touch and smelled faintly of printed cardboard and human hands. Using a single, practiced claw, I hooked the edge of the lid and pried it open with a soft *pop*. Inside lay a stack of stiff, colorful squares. An anticlimax. My initial disappointment soured into disdain. I nudged the stack with my nose, sending cards skittering across the polished wood. They were flimsy, pathetic. One flipped over to reveal the face of the enemy: a crudely drawn dog-thing, grinning like an idiot. I let out a low hiss. Another card showed one of those "hot dogs," looking unappetizing even in cartoon form. I was about to abandon the entire operation as a waste of my talents when my paw turned over a third card. I froze. On it was a cat. An orange cat, his expression a perfect blend of cunning and exasperation. The name beneath him read "Petey." Suddenly, I understood. This wasn't a game for witless children. It was a strategic simulation, a coded allegory for the eternal struggle. Petey, a clear genius and master tactician, was forced to operate in a world dominated by the foolish, slobbering Dog Man. His role, the humans had babbled, was to "turn over all the hot dogs," to reset the board, to undo the dog's mindless progress. He wasn't a villain; he was an enforcer of order, a guardian of dignity against the forces of brutish appetite. I was no longer looking at a simple card game. I was looking at a manifesto. The next evening, I watched from my perch atop the scratching post as the humans played. They shrieked with delight when they found hot dogs and groaned when the Dog Man card prompted a clumsy race to snatch them up. But I waited. I watched. And when the smallest human flipped over the card and cried, "Oh no, Petey!", a quiet, profound sense of satisfaction settled deep in my chest. As they sullenly turned all the hot dog cards face-down again, I met the gaze of the Petey card, still lying on the table. The game itself is a puerile human distraction, but its soul is pure feline. It is worthy, not for play, but for the righteous ideology it represents. Petey and I, we understand.
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University Games, Dog Man Attack of The FLEAS Cooperative Board Game Based On The Popular Dog Man Book Series by DAV Pilkey for 2 to 6 Players Ages 6 and Up

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a flat, square box depicting some sort of canine-humanoid hybrid in a state of alarm. They call it the "Dog Man Attack of The FLEAS Cooperative Board Game." It appears to be a training simulation for the smaller, louder humans. The objective, as far as my superior intellect can discern, is to work together to eradicate tokens representing fleas from a colorful map of a "city." While I applaud any effort to combat these vile parasites, the methodology seems dreadfully inefficient. The entire affair involves sitting still, moving flimsy pieces, and talking, rather than the swift, silent, and decisive action I would employ. The small, bat-able game pieces might offer a moment's diversion, but the overall concept is a tedious distraction from my napping and grooming schedule.

Key Features

  • Engaging Flea-Busting Adventure: Dive into the action-packed world of Dog Man with the University Games Dog Man: Attack of the Fleas Game. A strategic and entertaining game designed to challenge players to eliminate those pesky fleas, enhancing both fine and gross motor skills in children.
  • Interactive Family Fun: Enjoy quality family time with a game that combines strategy and excitement. Save the city from the flea invasion in this engaging 10.5" x 10.5" x 2" board game that brings Dog Man's adventures to life.
  • Strategic Gameplay: Challenge your tactical skills as you work to rid the city of fleas. The game encourages critical thinking and decision-making, making it enjoyable for players of all ages.
  • Multiplayer Entertainment: Gather friends and family for a lively gaming session with Dog Man: Attack of the Fleas. Suitable for 2-6 players, this game promotes social interaction and friendly competition.
  • Age-Appropriate Fun: Tailored for kids aged 7 and up, this game offers age-appropriate challenges and excitement. Join Dog Man on his mission to save the city and engage in an adventure that's both entertaining and educational.
  • Compact and Portable: The 10.5" x 10.5" x 2" dimensions make this game easy to store and transport. Bring Dog Man's world with you wherever you go and enjoy gaming on the move.
  • Skill Development: Beyond the fun, this game aids in the development of various skills, including fine and gross motor skills. The strategic elements of the game contribute to cognitive development in an enjoyable and interactive manner.
  • Save the City: Assume the role of a hero and take on the challenge of saving the city from the flea invasion. Dog Man: Attack of the Fleas provides an immersive experience that captivates players and keeps them entertained throughout the game.
  • Watch our video to see the game being played!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived with the usual fanfare—the crinkle of plastic wrap, the triumphant declaration from my human about "family fun night." I observed from my post on the heated windowsill, unimpressed. The artwork featured a grotesque creature, part-dog, part-man, an affront to the natural order. But then I heard the word: "Fleas." My ears, two perfect gray triangles, swiveled forward. An enemy I knew well. This was not a game; this was a strategic briefing. They unfurled the board on the rug, a crude schematic of my city. The small humans gathered, their movements clumsy, their voices shrill. They were tasked with eradicating the tiny, green plastic circles that represented the flea menace. From my vantage point, I was a silent field marshal observing raw, undisciplined recruits. Their "cooperative" strategy was a disaster. They bickered. They made illogical moves. They were losing the city—*my* city—to a swarm of inanimate tokens. It was pathetic. They failed to grasp the core principle of anti-flea warfare: overwhelming and decisive force. One of the small humans, in a moment of utter tactical blindness, placed the "Mega-Flea" piece precariously close to the "Supa Awesome Pet Store," a landmark I personally patronize for its premium salmon treats. This insult could not stand. While they were distracted, arguing over the dubious powers of the Dog Man figurine, I made my move. I descended from the windowsill like a wisp of smoke, a silent, tuxedoed shadow gliding over the carpet. My intentions were not playful; they were pedagogical. With a flick of my paw, a tool honed by generations of apex predators, I hooked the Mega-Flea token. It wasn't a swat; it was a calculated strike. The plastic disc skittered across the board, ricocheted off the "Dog Man's Dog House" piece (a structure I found particularly offensive), and slid perfectly under the heaviest part of the sofa. The humans gasped, then chuckled, believing it to be a charming, feline antic. They did not understand. I had not played their game. I had won the war. I sauntered over to the now-empty game box, curled up on the lid, and began to groom, satisfied that I had demonstrated the proper method. The simulation was flawed, but the lesson had been taught.
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University Games, What Am I? Travel Card Game, Perfect for Party Game Night, Ages 8 and Up

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

My human presented this... thing. From what I can gather through observation and ignoring their tedious explanations, it is a social ritual containment device. They will extract flimsy paper rectangles from a rather handsome metal box, affix them to their foreheads, and then proceed to make loud, nonsensical noises at each other for an extended period. The paper is, of course, an utter waste of perfectly good trees that could have been used for scratching posts. The game itself is a blatant squandering of valuable napping and/or treat-soliciting time. However, the tin... the tin has a pleasing heft and would make a satisfying *thump* when knocked from the coffee table. It might have potential as a repurposed nap-enhancement tool, but the contents are pure human folly.

Key Features

  • What Am I ? Tin
  • Number of players: 2, 2-4
  • item package dimensions: 2.0 L x 4.75 W x 7.5 H (inches)
  • item package weight: 2.0 pounds

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The night the blue metal box arrived, the air in the den grew thick with a strange energy. My human called it "game night," a term I associate with loud exclamations and a severe dip in the quality of available laps. She and her companion sat on the floor, a place I generally reserve for my own sprawling, and opened the box. It wasn't a puzzle or a laser. It was just... cards. My initial disdain was palpable; I began grooming a perfectly clean patch of my tuxedoed chest to signal my utter boredom. Then the ritual began. The first human placed a card upon her brow without looking at it. I watched, my cynical eye half-closed, as the other human began to interrogate her. "Do you have wings?" he asked. And that's when it happened. For a fleeting instant, I did not see my human. I saw a magnificent, iridescent dragonfly, its wings a blur of color, hovering over the carpet. I smelled the scent of swamp water and summer heat. I blinked, my heart thumping a frantic rhythm against my ribs, and she was just a human again, looking confused. "No," she said, and the illusion shattered. The game continued, a parade of phantoms only I seemed to see. When her companion put a card to his head, he became, for a moment, a slice of toast, radiating a delicious, buttery warmth that made my stomach rumble. He asked, "Am I a food?" and the Dragonfly-Human nodded. A moment later, she transformed into the Eiffel Tower, all cold iron and dizzying height. I could almost feel the wind whipping through my fur as if I were perched on its peak. They were laughing, oblivious to the profound, reality-bending chaos they had unleashed. They were not playing a game; they were channeling the very essence of things through cheap, printed cardstock. When they finally packed the spirits back into the blue tin, I was left trembling slightly on my perch on the sofa arm. This was no mere toy. It was a conduit, a dangerous and powerful artifact that allowed these simple-minded creatures to toy with the fabric of existence. It was loud, disruptive, and frankly, terrifying. And yet... it was the most interesting thing they had brought into my house in years. I decided then and there that the box required a guardian. I hopped down, settled my weight firmly upon the cool metal lid, and began a deep, rumbling purr. They would not tamper with the universe again without my direct supervision. This toy was worthy, not of play, but of profound and vigilant respect.
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University Games, Smart Ass Trivia The Ultimate Who, What, Where Party Game , for Families and Adults Ages 12 and Up and 2 to 6 Players

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

So, my human presented this box, expecting, I suppose, a purr of approval. It’s called “Smart Ass,” which, frankly, feels a bit derivative of my own personal brand. From what I can gather, it's a device designed to make humans shout random facts at each other while moving small, brightly colored plastic morsels around a folded piece of cardboard. The only components of genuine interest are the dice—perfectly weighted for gravity experiments off the edge of the coffee table—and the box itself, which appears to be of a sturdy, nap-worthy construction. The rest seems to be a loud, pointless exercise that will inevitably interrupt my deep-slumber research into the structural integrity of sunbeams. A potential source of small, lose-able trinkets, but otherwise a profound waste of everyone's time, especially mine.

Key Features

  • Shouting Allowed: Play Smart Ass, the game where it's ok to yell out the answer, even when it's not your turn.
  • Answer Correctly and Win: Be the first to answer the who, What, and where Am I questions, and move closer to being the ultimate Smart Ass
  • More Content: Are you already a Smart Ass fan, but ready feel like you’ve played your original game to death? Have no fear! All new content is here! Smart Ass is new again, with completely new topics and clues.
  • What's Included: Game Board, 6 Playing Pieces and Stands, 411 Question Cards, Jumbo Category Die, Jumbo Movement Die, Instructions
  • Why We Love It: If you're looking for a fun family game that will get everyone laughing while they exercise their brains, Smart Ass is it! It's a fast-paced party game with tons of questions about people, places and things. You'll be surprised how much you know when the pressure's on to come up with answers quickly. The first person to answer the topic card correctly earns the point and the bragging rights among the group, of course!
  • HOW TO WIN: Be the fastest player to answer the Who, What, and Where Am I topics from the eight clues on the card and make your way to THE END to be crowned the ultimate Smart Ass.
  • SHOUT IT OUT: Be ready with a witty answer, even when it's not your turn! The first player to make it from start to finish on the game board wins in this family-friendly party trivia game.
  • WHY WE LOVE IT: If you're looking for a fun family game that will get everyone laughing while they exercise their brains, Smart Ass is it! It's a fast-paced party game with tons of questions about people, places and things
  • WHO’S IT FOR: This party game is great for adults and families looking for a fun game night with players ages 12 and up.
  • FUN NO MATTER WHAT: Play the standard way with 2 to 6 players or bring the whole crew in on the fun and break into teams.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The evening began with the usual cacophony. The human and her pack unsealed the box, an act of desecration upon what was clearly a superior sleeping vessel. They laid out the board, its garish colors an assault on my refined aesthetic sensibilities. I watched from my throne atop the bookcase, my tail twitching with a mixture of contempt and mild curiosity. They called it a game of wits, a battle of intellects. I’ve seen them struggle with the can opener; their definition of “intellect” is… generous. The game commenced. Clues were read, and the humans would bellow answers with the confidence of the truly ignorant. “A famous artist!” one clue began. “Picasso!” shouted one human. “A Ninja Turtle!” shouted another, proving my point. I groomed my pristine white ascot, bored. Then, one of the dice, a glorious jumbo cube, was rolled with excessive force. It skittered across the board, knocked over a pathetic little green player piece, and tumbled onto the hardwood floor, landing silently in the shadows beneath the sofa. A worthy tribute. While the humans bickered, I executed a flawless, silent descent from the bookcase. My mission was clear. I stalked the die, my movements liquid grace. I saw this not as a game, but as a tactical extraction. As a new card was read—"I am a city in Italy... I am famous for my canals..."—I nudged the die from its hiding place with my nose. The humans were shouting "Paris!" and "London!" Fools. I nudged the die again, rolling it towards the water dish I so rarely use, preferring the running tap in the bathroom. A subtle hint. A gentle nudge towards the truth. Of course, they didn't notice my brilliant, silent clue. One of them eventually guessed "Venice," and the room erupted in undeserved celebration. Their victory was hollow, their intellects a barren wasteland. I, however, had won the real prize. I hooked the jumbo die with a single claw and deftly batted it under the credenza, into the deep darkness where only I dare to venture. They can have their silly cardboard and their shouting. I have claimed my trophy. The game is a trifle, but its spoils are, I must admit, quite satisfactory.
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University Games, Ultimate Pub Trivia Team Trivia Game, 4 or More Trivia Loving Players Ages 12 and Up

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a box of stiff paper and cardboard called "Ultimate Pub Trivia." It appears to be an elaborate ritual for bipeds where they gather in groups, shout strange words at each other, and completely neglect their primary duty: adoring me. The brand, "University Games," sounds dreadfully academic and lacking in any understanding of proper feather-toy physics. While the box itself might offer a geometrically pleasing napping surface, the contents—bits of paper with questions about "sports" and "pop culture"—are an utter waste of pulp that could have been used for more shreddable packing material. This is clearly a scheme to distract the staff from what truly matters, and I suspect it offers zero playability unless one enjoys batting flimsy cards under the sofa.

Key Features

  • PUB QUIZ AT HOME: bring the weekly pub trivia night home to play in teams or host your own live-streamed trivia night using questions from the game!
  • TEST YOUR WITS: play with original trivia questions covering 5 different categories
  • 5 DIFFERENT CATEGORIES: play in teams and answer questions that cover 5 different pop culture categories like sports, past present and future, pop culture, anything goes, and literature
  • FAMILY GAME NIGHT: drinking is optional but not required for this game, perfect for 4 or more players ages 12 and up
  • BE THE QUIZMASTER: Host your own live stream pub quiz events on Youtube, Twitch, Instagram or Facebook easily and effortlessly with content from the game
  • Check out our video to learn more and see the game in action

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The evening's tranquility was shattered by the crinkle of cellophane. The box appeared, a garish thing promising "Ultimate Pub Trivia." Soon, the humans divided themselves into factions, their voices rising in a cacophony of competitive zeal. They designated one of them—the one who is least reliable with the timing of wet food—as the "Quizmaster." A laughable title. I, stretched languidly on the highest point of the cat tree, knew who the true master of this quiz, and this entire house, was. They began with "Literature." A simple question about a "whale." I’ve dispatched bigger dust bunnies. They stumbled, argued. I flicked my tail in disdain. Their "Quizmaster" read the next question from the "Anything Goes" category. This was my chance. As the teams conferred in frantic whispers, I leaped silently from my perch, landing squarely in the center of the table. The flimsy cards skittered, but I ignored them. I was not here to cause chaos; I was here to assume my rightful position. I stared down the so-called Quizmaster, my gaze imperious. A hush fell over the room. They understood. I was now in charge. When a team ventured an answer I deemed acceptable (or at least amusingly wrong), I would reward them with a slow, deliberate blink. An incorrect or boring answer earned a flick of my ear and a pointed turn of my head toward my empty food bowl. They began to play for my approval, not for points. "What's the capital of Vermont?" one of them read. The answer was irrelevant. The real question was, could they say "Montpelier" in a tone that pleased their feline overlord? The game ended not when the box dictated, but when I decided it was time for my evening constitutional to the litter box. I hopped off the table, giving the entire setup a final, dismissive glance. As a toy, it is a catastrophic failure. But as a pedestal? As a stage upon which I could demonstrate the art of true judgment and control? For that purpose, it excelled. They learned a valuable lesson tonight: trivia is temporary, but the authority of a well-groomed cat is eternal. The game is worthy, but only as an accessory to my reign.
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University Games, Scholastic Race Across the USA Board Game , Geography Learning Game for Kids and Families, for 2 to 4 Players Ages 8 and Up

By: University Games

Pete's Expert Summary

My Human has unfurled a large, foldable square of pressed paper, apparently a crude map of some vast, uninteresting territory that is not this house. The purpose, as far as I can deduce, is for the smaller humans to move brightly colored plastic cones across these designated "states" by answering questions. This entire endeavor seems designed to celebrate regions tragically devoid of the things that matter: my food bowl, my favorite sunbeam, and my velvet sleeping pillow. The only redeeming quality I can identify is the potential for the small, conical playing pieces to be batted under the heaviest piece of furniture in the room, creating a satisfyingly unsolvable mystery for the Staff. Otherwise, it is an egregious waste of prime floor space that could be better utilized for a proper mid-afternoon stretch.

Key Features

  • Educational Journey: Embark on an exciting educational journey with the Scholastic Race Across the USA Game. Explore the diverse geography of our country while having fun with this engaging board game.
  • State-Hopping Adventure: Visit six states, answer geography questions, and race back to your home state to claim victory! The game combines learning and entertainment, making it an ideal choice for educational play.
  • Grade-Appropriate Questions: Tailored to each player's grade level, the game ensures that questions are suitable for their educational stage. Enjoy a personalized learning experience that adapts to the unique needs of players.
  • Inclusive Gameplay: Designed for kids aged 8 and up, this game allows children from different grades to play together on an even field. Foster friendly competition and collaboration as players of various ages join forces in this educational adventure.
  • Perfect for Group Play: Whether it's a family game night or a classroom setting, the Scholastic Race Across the USA Game encourages group play. Bring kids together for a shared learning experience that promotes camaraderie and knowledge sharing.
  • Learn and Have Fun: Turn learning about the USA into an enjoyable experience. The game combines the excitement of a race with educational elements, ensuring that players not only have fun but also gain valuable knowledge about the country.
  • Interactive Geography Exploration: Immerse yourself in an interactive exploration of U.S. geography. The game provides a hands-on way for players to enhance their understanding of different states and regions.
  • Foster Multi-Grade Interactions: Break down age barriers and promote multi-grade interactions. The Race Across the USA Game creates a collaborative environment where kids of different ages can learn together, fostering a sense of inclusivity and teamwork.
  • Educational Entertainment: Elevate learning with a board game that goes beyond textbooks. The Scholastic Race Across the USA Game is a blend of educational content and entertainment, making it a valuable addition to any learning environment.
  • Check out our video to see the game being played!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Tall Ones called it a "game." I, from my observation post atop the chenille armchair, called it a tactical failure. They laid out the board, a garish pastiche of colors representing territories I neither knew nor cared about. The Human child, a notoriously unreliable ally, placed her red cone on a blue splotch they called "Illinois." A laughable opening move. She clearly had no grasp of strategic positioning. I flicked an ear in disdain, the white tip a silent, flashing signal of my disapproval. My initial assessment was one of profound disappointment. The pieces were a cheap, hollow plastic, lacking the satisfying heft of a captured beetle. The board itself was offensively flat, offering no textural stimulation whatsoever. But then, as the game progressed, a peculiar pattern emerged. The green cone, controlled by my primary Human, advanced to a yellow quadrant named "Arizona." My gaze drifted from the board to the patch of warm, bright sunlight pooling on the hardwood floor—the very spot I had claimed for my 2:00 p.m. solar-infusion therapy. They weren't just playing a game; they were unknowingly charting the sacred geography of my domain. A jolt of understanding, sharp and clear as a can opener's whir, shot through me. This wasn't a map of some abstract "USA." It was a crude, symbolic rendering of the Living Room Kingdom. "California" was the warm zone by the sliding glass door. "Maine" was the drafty corner by the front entryway. And they, in their blissful ignorance, were maneuvering their armies across my sovereign lands. The child's red cone, representing the infernal squirrel that chitters from the oak tree, was encroaching on "Nevada"—the dry, desolate expanse under the coffee table, a known ambush point. This could not stand. I descended from the armchair not with a playful pounce, but with the gravitas of a monarch reclaiming his throne. I walked directly to the center of the board—the capital, as it were—and with a deliberate sweep of my tail, I sent the cones of green, red, and blue scattering across the floor. The humans gasped, then laughed, misinterpreting my declaration of supreme authority as a whimsical interruption. Let them laugh. They could have their flimsy paper and their hollow tokens. They may play at being racers, but I had already won the only contest that mattered. The territory was, and always would be, mine. The game, therefore, is a moderately amusing, albeit deeply flawed, tribute to my reign.
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