My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has acquired this... thing. It's a sprawling mat, purportedly for a "newborn," which I assume is a very small, uncoordinated human with questionable taste. The brand, Fisher-Price, is known for its loud, plastic offerings, and this "Glow and Grow Kick & Play Piano Gym" is no exception. Frankly, the edu…
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My human, The Staff, has procured this… thing. It appears to be a garish plastic stick with a transparent dome on the end, designed to be pushed by t…
My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a Fisher-Price "Ultimate Playhouse." Essentially, it is a garishly colored plast…
My human, in her infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a circular plastic device for the small, loud human she also keeps. It is, from my…
My human, in what I can only assume was a moment of profound confusion, has presented me with a plastic effigy of their own morning ritual vessel. Th…