Pete's Expert Summary
My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a Fisher-Price "Ultimate Playhouse." Essentially, it is a garishly colored plastic domicile for the smaller, less-furry human they seem so fond of. It purports to be an "activity center" with a bewildering array of lights, noises, and holes for dropping things. From my superior vantage point on the sofa, I can see a crawl-through door that might offer a strategic shortcut across the room, and some balls that could, theoretically, be batted under furniture. However, the presence of a "light-up fishbowl" is a personal affront, a plastic effigy of a meal it will never provide. It is, in short, a loud, flashy monument to inferior taste, which might serve to distract the baby, but will likely be an assault on my auditory senses and an insult to my sophisticated aesthetic.
Key Features
- Electronic home playset and crawl-around activity center with 200+ learning songs, sounds and phrases & 360 degrees of interactive play
- 3 Smart Stages levels grow along with baby and introduce the alphabet, numbers & counting, colors, shapes, opposites, greetings, weather, and cause & effect
- Activities inside & outside the house: crawl-through door, radio with 4 buttons, light-up fishbowl, porchlight, drop-through rain spout, shape-sorter trellis, wind chime & more
- Comes with 3 balls to drop through the rain spout, 4 shape-sorting flowers, and 2 mail play pieces to slot through the door
- Helps foster sensory skills and encourages imaginative play for babies and toddlers ages 6 months to 3 years old
- Smilestones: Bringing a smile to milestones! This playset helps foster Motor Skills by encouraging toddlers to crawl, stand & explore activities that exercise dexterity, balance & coordination.
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The box it arrived in was magnificent, a cardboard palace of unparalleled napping potential. The structure they assembled from it, however, was another matter entirely. This "Playhouse," they called it. I viewed it not as a toy, but as a new listing on the living room floor. As the premier resident of this domain, it was my duty to inspect the property. I began my walkthrough at the front, circling the perimeter with my tail held high. The plastic facade was offensively bright, but the structure seemed sound. The "wind chime" rattled pleasantly when I swatted it, a decent-enough feature. The porchlight blinked on as I passed, a welcome, if simple, bit of home automation. So far, a mixed review. I made my way to the main entrance, a low-slung archway clearly designed for a less graceful creature, but I managed to slip through with my dignity mostly intact. The interior was spartan. A "radio" sat on a wall, and when I prodded a button with my paw, it blared some nonsense about the letter 'B'. Terrible acoustics. Nearby, the great blasphemy: a glowing fishbowl with a perpetually smiling, unblinking fish. I stared it down, trying to intimidate it into becoming real, but it merely pulsed with a soft, synthetic light. A cheap, built-in feature designed to impress the unsophisticated. I gave it a dismissive sniff and turned my attention to the mail slot. A potential bonus, I mused, perfect for stashing my silver vine mouse away from the drooling maw of the family dog. Finally, I explored the exterior amenities. A trellis with holes for "shape-sorting flowers" seemed like a pointless complication to an otherwise acceptable wall. Then I discovered the rain spout. The human, demonstrating for the baby, dropped a colorful ball into the top, and it tumbled down with a satisfying series of clunks. They did it again. And again. The simple cause and effect, the predictable trajectory... it appealed to the hunter in me. A reliable prey-delivery system. My final assessment of the property: gaudy, noisy, and occupied by a slobbering tenant. However, the mail slot has storage potential and the rain-spout ball game is a surprisingly engaging diversion. It’s not a place I’d choose to live, but I may sublet the rain spout for a few hours each day. I suppose I will approve the acquisition, provided I get first dibs on the balls.
