My Human has presented me with what the box calls a "Ninja Blast Hover Soccer Ball," a rather ostentatious name for what is essentially a glorified, air-powered hockey puck for children. Its primary gimmick is its ability to float on a cushion of air, gliding across the hardwood floors with an incessant, low hum. While the involvement of any "kid" is an imm…
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My human has acquired a collection of stiff, shiny rectangles from a brand called 'Superious,' a rather bold claim for printed paper. Apparently, the…
My Human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented a 'Funvip Light Up LED Soccer Ball.' From what I can gather, it is an absurdly …
My human, in a fit of what I can only assume is profound boredom, has acquired a device for their strange, repetitive kicking rituals. It’s a belt wi…
My human has procured a gargantuan orb that, according to the elaborate packaging, vomits light when assaulted. This 'FlashCatch' contraption is an o…