A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Pool Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
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Lead Review · From: Jasonwell
Failed Assassination Becomes Magnificent Vinyl Palace
Our critic rejects the Jasonwell pool's watery purpose entirely but commandeers its drained, folded carcass as a sprawling canyon fortress and first-rate summer napping palace.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human seems to believe my life is lacking in large, blue, water-filled receptacles designed for creatures of significantly lower intelligence. They present this "Jasonwell Foldable Dog Pet Bath Pool," a name that is an affront on at least three levels. It's an enormous, collapsible tub made of that durable PVC material one usually finds in items meant to…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Jasonwell Foldable Dog Pet Bath Pool Collapsible Dog Pet Pool Bathing Tub Kiddie Pool Doggie Wading Pool for Puppy Small Medium Large Dogs Cats and Kids 63" Blue
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Terrible pool; divine fort
From The Desk
Image of Inflatable Pool with Seat and Pool Lights, Durable Thickened Large Size Family Inflatable Pools for Adults Blow Up Pools,100" x 63" x 22"Swimming Inflatable Kids PooI for Backyard,Outdoor (White)
FizZeal
FizZeal's Shifting Lights Summon Unknown Cosmic Entities

So, the Tall Ones have acquired a colossal, flimsy-looking basin from a brand named "FizZeal," a name that sounds suspiciously like a cheap, sugary beverage. They intend to fill t…

★★★☆☆ — A cosmic switchboard requiring my vigilant watch
More From The Desk
Image of 2025 Upgrade Inflatable Pools with Lights, Family Inflatable Swimming Pools for Kids,Adults, Blow Up Pool Solar Powered, Large Kiddie Pool, Durable Thickened Inflatable Family Pool for Backyard-Blue
StarOcean
Solar-Powered Arena Becomes My Premier Hunting Ground

Ah, yes. My human has presented me with this... *thing*. It appears to be a colossal, inflatable blue basin from a brand called "StarOcean," which is…

★★★★☆
Image of Inflatable Pool with Canopy,Upgraded Inflatable Swimming Pool for Kids,Adult,Large Inflatable Blow up Pools,Ocean Theme Oversized Thickened 100"x63"x22"Inflatable Family Pools for Backyard-Blue
FunBy
The Canopy Shade Is Mine; The Water Is Not

My human has procured what appears to be a colossal, glorified puddle from a brand called "FunBy." It's a massive, inflatable basin with a canopy, al…

★★★☆☆
Image of SELLOTZ Inflatable Pool for Kids and Adults, 120" X 72" X 22" Oversized Thickened Family Swimming Pool for Toddlers, Outdoor, Garden, Backyard, Summer Water Party
SELLOTZ
Blue Resonance Chamber Claimed as Oracle's Retreat

So, the Human has acquired what they are calling a 'family swimming pool' from some unheard-of manufacturer named SELLOTZ. It appears to be a monstro…

★★★★☆
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