A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Kite Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Honbo
Rainbow Tails Betray Their Kite with a Hollow Victory
★★☆☆☆
JOYIN
Nylon Spaceship Reawakens the Great Hunter Within
★★★★☆
SGftre
Indoor Tail Ambush Redeems an Otherwise Garish Trifle
★★☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Mint's Colorful Life
Sky Beast Deflates Into Tangles of Mild Interest
Our critic watches the Mint's Colorful Life delta kite with tactical suspicion, only to find the great sky-predator crammed into a thin bag — its sole merit a hopelessly tangled 300-foot string.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human, in a fit of what can only be described as profound misunderstanding, has presented me with a contraption from a brand called "Mint's Colorful Life." It is, apparently, a "Delta Kite." This is a large, triangular sheet of offensively bright fabric intended to be dragged through the sky by a running human. I am an indoor creature of refined taste; I…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Mint's Colorful Life Delta Kite for Kids & Adults, Extremely Easy to Fly Kites with 2 Ribbons and 300ft String, Best for Beginner
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★☆☆☆☆
Letdown. Only the string survives.
From The Desk
Image of JOYIN 3 Packs Large Delta Kite Red, Green and Purple, Easy to Fly Huge for Kids and Adults with 262.5ft String, Large Delta Beach Kite for Outdoor Games and Activities
JOYIN
Purple Triangle Earns the Highest Award: Pete's Full Attention

So, the Human has acquired a trio of what appear to be giant, flimsy birds from a brand called 'JOYIN,' a name that promises a level of glee I find highly suspect. These are 'kite…

★★★★☆ — Worthy of my watch, not my claws.
More From The Desk
Image of 3 Pack Large Kites - Butterfly Delta Dragonfly Kites Easy to Fly for Adults Kids Beach Park Outdoor Game Activities, Gifts for Easter and Festival
Crogift
Three Kites, One Spool, and a Living Room Masterpiece

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume is seasonal delusion brought on by slightly warmer air, has acquired a trio of flimsy nylon contraptions…

★★★★★
Image of JOYIN 3 Packs Large Delta Kite Green, Blue and Rainbow, Easy to Fly for Kids with 262.5 ft String, Large Delta Beach Kite for Outdoor Games and Activities
JOYIN
Rainbow Tail Returns Inside to Face Swift Feline Justice

So, the Staff has procured what appears to be a trio of giant, flimsy, multi-colored birds-that-aren't-birds from a brand called JOYIN. These... 'kit…

★★★☆☆
Image of Hengda Kite Software Octopus Flyer Kite with Long Colorful Tail for Kids, 31-Inch Wide x 157-Inch Long, Large, Red
HENGDA KITE
Sky-Kraken Earns Approval as Moving Art, Not Prey

My human seems to have discovered a colossal, crimson sky-squid from a brand called "HENGDA KITE." Apparently, this is an enormous, frameless fabric …

★★★☆☆
Image of HONBO 58" Fighter Plane Kites for Kids Easy to Fly, Kites for Adults, with Kite Reel and 200ft String, Beginner Kite for Beach Trip
Honbo
Fabric Fighter Plane Exists Solely to Stage a Crow's Triumph

My human, in a fit of what can only be described as profound misunderstanding of my needs, has acquired a "Honbo Fighter Plane Kite." From what I can…

★★☆☆☆
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