Pete's Expert Summary
So, the Staff has procured what appears to be a trio of giant, flimsy, multi-colored birds-that-aren't-birds from a brand called JOYIN. These... 'kites' come in garish shades of green, blue, and a particularly loud rainbow configuration. They are enormous, with a wingspan that could hypothetically provide shade for my entire afternoon nap, and possess ludicrously long tails, which I'll admit is their only redeeming quality. The entire premise seems flawed, as they are designed to 'fly' in the 'outdoors'—a concept I find both barbaric and drafty. The long string and flowing tails might provide a few moments of ground-based entertainment if dragged appropriately. Otherwise, this seems like an excellent way for my human to amuse themselves while I watch from my climate-controlled window perch, judging their lack of grace. A potential waste of my predatory energy, but the tails bear watching.
Key Features
- UNIQUE DESIGN. Our Easy Flyer Kite features a soft gradient green, blue and rainbow color that will surely lighten up your mood as it flies and adds color to the sky. This includes 3 pieces of Nylon Kites 58.3 inch (148 cm) Wide x 27.6 inch (70 cm) Long with 57.1 inch (145 cm) Tails and an Assembling Instruction Guide. The kite handle string is 262.5 ft (80 m).
- EASY TO USE. These easy flyers are specially designed to be stable and not difficult to launch in any level of wind. The durable fabric body and tail will last for years. Recommended to wear gloves when assembling the kite.
- ENDLESS FUN. These Huge Delta Kites for Kids provides hours of awesome and wholesome entertainment for the whole family especially this summer. This will help your child to put down the gadgets and discover a pastime that will get them up and running actively.
- SAFE FOR CHILDREN. non-toxic, non-BPA. Meet US toy standards. Safety test approved.
- CUSTOMER SATISFACTION. Providing a great shopping experience is our main priority to our customers. Feel free to message us through “contact sellers” if products don't meet your expectations. The celebrations start at JOYIN!
A Tale from Pete the Cat
I awoke from a perfectly good sunbeam nap to the sound of frantic crinkling. My human was on the living room floor, not preparing my dinner, but wrestling with what looked like the ghost of a giant, triangular bat. It was the rainbow one. The sheer audacity of its colors was an affront to my sophisticated gray-and-white aesthetic. The human fumbled with thin black sticks, inserting them into pockets on the creature's skin with the focused ineptitude only a biped can truly master. I observed from the arm of the sofa, tail twitching in mild irritation. Another useless trinket, I presumed, destined to collect dust in the Closet of Forgotten Amusements. Once the beast was assembled, my human carried it to the back door, its long, ribbon-like tail trailing behind it across the floor. My eyes, previously narrowed in disdain, widened. The tail slithered over the hardwood, a silent, hypnotic serpent of color. My hunter's instinct, long dormant since my last encounter with a particularly defiant dust bunny, flared to life. Every muscle in my body coiled. I forgot the garish wings, the clumsy human, the interruption to my nap. There was only the tail. The human, oblivious, stepped outside. I darted to the glass door, pressing my nose against it. They ran, a thin filament connecting them to the airborne monstrosity. It climbed, bucking against the wind, a chaotic splash of color against the serene blue sky. But I cared not for its flight. I watched the tail, my tail, as it danced and whipped, a tantalizing promise of victory just beyond the glass. It was taunting me, a five-foot-long challenge to my authority as ruler of this domain. They brought it back inside an hour later, the creature now limp and defeated. They folded it carelessly, but the tail lay in a loose pile on the rug. The human’s back was turned for only a moment. It was all I needed. I pounced, my paws sinking into the soft nylon. I bit, I kicked with my back feet, a flurry of gray fur and righteous fury. The texture was sublime, the rustling sound, a symphony of triumph. The human turned and laughed, but I did not care. The flying beast was irrelevant. This magnificent tail, however, had proven itself worthy. It was, I decided, a most excellent kill. It could stay.
