A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Climber Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
BlueWood
Wooden Jungle Gym Passes Rigorous Royal Inspection
★★★★★
Step2
Alien Scout Ship Conquered Before Breakfast
★★★★☆
I INMOTION
Motorized Pretender Cannot Compete With Actual Feline Climbing
★★☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Step2
High Priest of the Ziggurat Aligns Backyard With Pleiades
Our critic seizes the backyard plastic climber as a sacred temple, declares himself its high priest, and spends the evening realigning the garden with the stars.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human seems to think this hulking plastic monument is for the small, noisy humans, but I see it for what it truly is: a piece of tactical architecture. They call it a "playset"; I call it a multi-level observation tower and command bunker. The elevated platform offers a superior vantage point for monitoring squirrel activity and judging the neighbor's qu…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Step2 Woodland Climber II Kids Playset, Ages 2 –6 Years Old, Toddler Slide and Climbing Wall, Outdoor Playground for Backyard, Sturdy Plastic Frame, Easy Set Up
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
A holy site under my jurisdiction.
From The Desk
Image of Eezy Peezy Mega Pyramid Monkey Bars Climbing Tower Active Outdoor Fun for Kids Ages 3 to 8 Years Old, Blue/Green
Eezy Peezy
Pete Claims the Apex; Toddlers May Keep the Foothills

My human seems to think this garish plastic skeleton is for the smaller, noisier humans in the household. They call it a "climbing tower," a rather bold claim for a collection of …

★★★★☆ — The apex is mine alone.
More From The Desk
Image of BlueWood Pikler Triangle Set 7in1 Foldable Baby Climbing Toys Wooden Montessori Climbing Set with Arch&Ramp&Ladder Baby Climber Indoor Jungle Gyms for Toddlers Montessori Toys - Rainbow
BlueWood
Rainbow Mountain Conquered; Lower Slopes Left to Toddler

My human seems to have acquired yet another large, wooden contraption whose name is longer than my afternoon nap. This "BlueWood Pikler Triangle Set …

★★★★☆
Image of LulliSpace 6 in 1 Toddler Slide for Toddler Age 1-3,Kids Climber Slider for Indoor Outdoor Playground with Basketball Hoop,Storage and Telescope,L Shaped Slide for Toddler Climber Playset
LulliSpace
Under-Stair Bunker Redeems an Otherwise Garish Playset

So, the human has procured a colossal plastic structure clearly designed for a miniature, uncoordinated human. They call it a "Toddler Slide," a gari…

★★★☆☆
Image of Little Tikes Hide and Seek Climber Red/Cream/Green, 1 - 4 years
Little Tikes
Tunnel Headquarters Justifies the Vulgar Primary Colors

My human, in a clear lapse of judgment, has erected a monument to poor taste in the middle of what was once a perfectly good sunbeam. They call it a …

★★★☆☆
Image of Step2 Truck Climber, Kids Outdoor Playset, Backyard Playground Set, Slide & Climbing Wall, Outside Jungle Gym, for Toddlers 2-5 Years Old
Step2
Plastic Truck's Hidden Undercarriage Is a Five-Star Palace

So, my human has presented me with schematics for this... "Step2 Truck Climber." It appears to be a large, stationary plastic effigy of a vehicle, de…

★★★★☆
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