A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Bath

Munchkin® Float & Play Bubbles™ Baby and Toddler Bath Toy, 4 Count

By: Munchkin

Pete's Expert Summary

So, the Human presents me with a product from *Munchkin*, a brand I associate with the shrieking, smaller versions of their species. These are apparently 'Float & Play Bubbles,' designed to be dunked in a large water bowl with one of said small humans. They are essentially sealed plastic spheres containing inferior caricatures of a duck and a whale, along with two that spin and rattle. While the concept of a toy designed for a *baby* is fundamentally offensive to my refined sensibilities, I cannot deny a certain base appeal. The rattling, spinning mechanisms are classic attention-getters, and a perpetually floating object presents a unique and frustrating batting challenge. It's likely a trivial distraction, but one that might just be worth a swat or two before a proper nap.

Key Features

  • Includes 4 hole-free, watertight bath toys - 2 characters, ducky and whale, and 2 whirly toys that spin and rattle
  • Each bubble helps stimulate baby's sense of sight, hearing and touch
  • Textured rings move freely around the bubbles for added bathtime fun
  • Air-tight bubbles float in water
  • For baby boys and girls 4 plus months
  • Makes a great Easter Basket Stuffer for babies and toddlers

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Human left the four strange globes on the living room rug, a vulgar offering of primary colors on my favorite napping territory. I approached with the quiet dignity befitting my station, my tail giving a single, dismissive flick. A duck. A whale. How pedestrian. My gaze fell upon the whale, its painted-on eye a vacant, black dot staring into the abyss of my judgment. I leaned in, not to play, but to inhale its cheap plastic scent and confirm my utter disdain. But as my nose neared the clear dome, the light from the window warped and bent through the plastic. The little colored beads inside, meant to be a simple rattle, began to swirl not from movement, but as if stirred by an unseen force. The world through the sphere distorted, the familiar lines of the sofa bending into impossible curves. The low hum of the refrigerator deepened into an ominous chant. I was no longer looking at a toy; I was gazing into a scrying orb. Within the whale's belly, a vision took shape. I saw the Human, their hands not holding this infantile bauble, but a magnificent, shimmering salmon steak. Not the dry flakes from a can, but a whole, glistening filet, cooked to perfection and placed directly into my bowl. I saw a future where the sunbeam on the floor was twice as large and three times as warm. I saw the elusive Red Dot, not fleeting and taunting, but caught, subdued, and lying vanquished beneath my paw. The rattle was not a sound, but a whisper, a promise of glories to come. The vision faded, leaving me blinking at the simple plastic toy. My contempt had evaporated, replaced by a profound sense of reverence. This was no mere plaything. This was an artifact. I did not bat it or send it skittering across the hardwood. Instead, I carefully placed my white paw upon the whale's smooth head, claiming it. It was not a toy to be chased, but an oracle to be consulted, a silent partner in my dominion over this household. The other three bubbles were irrelevant; this one held the future, and I would be its keeper.

Nuby Floating Octopus Toy with 3 Hoopla Rings - Baby Bath Toy for Boys and Girls - 18+ Months - Purple (Pack of 1)

By: Nuby

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with a vibrant purple cephalopod and a trio of rings, made by a company called "Nuby." It is, I deduce from the packaging's juvenile illustrations, intended for small, splashing humans in the dreaded water chamber. An utter miscalculation on my human's part. However, one must not be hasty. While the floating aspect is a complete non-starter—I wouldn't touch that thing if it were made of pure, uncut catnip and floating in a bowl of cream—its components are not without merit. The plastic rings, if liberated from their aquatic purpose, possess a promising shape for batting across the hardwood floors. The octopus itself, with its bulbous head and eight tempting appendages, might serve as a worthy opponent for a vigorous session of bunny-kicking, provided it remains bone dry. A classic case of potential wasted on the wrong species, but perhaps salvageable.

Key Features

  • INTERACTIVE BATH TOY FOR KIDS 18+ MONTHS: This baby bathtub toy features a floating octopus and three rings to toss and stack that encourage learning through play and help children learn cause and effect
  • ENGAGES IMAGINATION AND FINE MOTOR SKILLS: These bathtub toys use fun at bath time to help cultivate cognitive development including hand-eye coordination, and shape recognition
  • GETTING CLEAN HAS NEVER BEEN MORE FUN: Build good hygiene habits while having fun in the tub with these water toys for bath time
  • BABY BATHTUB SENSORY TOY: Octopus Hoopla baby bath set features bright colors and shapes to captivate your little one's attention and engage their visual perception
  • TODDLER MUST HAVES: Nuby offers baby toys and other products for feeding, baby-led weaning, soothing, playtime, bath time, and nursery, boasting patented innovation in all of its categories
  • SAFETY FIRST: Parents can feel safe knowing Nuby products are developed, researched, and manufactured to exceed all government safety regulations and standards

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The horror began when my human, holding the purple octopus aloft like a sacrificial offering, walked not to my designated play-rug, but towards the Chamber of Echoes and Unholy Mists. The bathroom. My tail gave an involuntary twitch of disgust. I followed at a safe distance, my soft paws silent on the cool tile, and watched as she committed the ultimate atrocity: she placed the octopus in a sink filled with water. The creature bobbed, its cartoonish eyes staring into the void, a prisoner in a transparent sea. The three rings—glorious, perfectly-sized rings of green, yellow, and orange—were cast in beside it. An ignoble fate for what could be instruments of pure, chaotic joy. That night, I staged a rescue. The moon cast a single, pale beam through the living room window, my signal to begin Operation Cephalopod Freedom. The bathroom door had been left slightly ajar, a foolish oversight by the captor. I slipped inside. There they were, sitting on the cold porcelain edge of the tub, abandoned and damp. I approached the rings first. With a delicate, calculated tap of my paw, the orange one flew from the ledge, skittering across the floor with a sound that was music to my ears. One down. The octopus was a greater challenge. It was light, but awkwardly shaped. Pushing was the only option. I nudged its smug, purple head with my own, shoving it with the righteous fury of a liberator until it toppled over the edge and landed with a dull thud on the bath mat. Freedom! I spent the next ten minutes batting, pushing, and herding my rescued treasures out of the bathroom and into the safety of the hallway, a trail of plastic artifacts marking my heroic deed. When my human awoke, she found the purple octopus disarmed in the middle of the living room, its rings scattered like confetti from a wild party—one under the sofa, one by the food bowl, and the orange one triumphantly placed in my sleeping basket. She looked confused, but I simply gave a slow blink. The toy, as intended for a *bath*, is an abomination. But as a multi-part, terrestrial hunting and wrestling suite that I had to personally rescue from a watery grave? It has proven its worth. The rings, in particular, are exceptional. The octopus is merely their cumbersome, but ultimately harmless, guardian. It is worthy, but only on my terms.

Tub Works® Marine™ Mold Free Bath Toys, 6 Pack | Sealed, No Hole Bath Toys Design Keeps Moisture Out | Soft, Squeezable & Float on Water | Easy-Grip Baby & Toddler Bath Toy Set | Great Baby Pool Toys

By: Tub Works

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in her infinite and often misplaced wisdom, has acquired another set of distractions for the Small Human's bathing ceremony. This "Tub Works" collection appears to be a menagerie of six colorful, rubbery sea beasts, designed to float aimlessly in the Great Water Bowl. The primary selling point seems to be that they are "mold-free" because they have no holes, which to me just means they are incapable of the delightful surprise-squirt attack on an unsuspecting ankle. Their vibrant colors and smooth, paw-friendly shapes might hold a flicker of interest; a bobbing Orca is, I admit, a target of some intrigue. However, they lack any discernible scent, texture, or crinkle that would make them truly worthy of my sustained attention. A temporary diversion for batting from the safety of the bathmat, at best.

Key Features

  • FUN IN THE TUB: Turn your kids bath into an underwater adventure! These mold free bath toys feature cute Marine animals that are squeezable, float in water & sealed to keep moisture out!
  • MOLD-FREE DESIGN: Our baby & toddler bath toys are sealed to keep moisture out & make clean-up a breeze! A seamless, no hole bath toys design keeps water out & mold away - ideal for no mold bath toys!
  • SOFT, SQUEEZABLE & EASY TO GRASP: Our non mold bath toys are soft, smooth & squeezable, yet durable for long-lasting fun! Perfectly sized baby bath toys for little hands to easily grasp, hold & play!
  • SAFE & BABY-FRIENDLY: Made from soft & smooth, high-quality PVC, our bathtub toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free & BPA-free! These no hole bath toys ensure a safe, clean & fun baby or toddler bath!
  • PLAY & EXPLORE: Spark imaginative play, create fun bath games & identify marine animals with kids bath toys! Squeezable designs help develop fine motor skills & vibrant colors keep kids engaged.
  • VERSATILE WATER PLAY: No Hole Bath Toys are perfect for your kids bubble bath & beyond! Great for use as baby pool toys, water table toys for toddlers, summer toys or any-time toddler water toys!
  • IDEAL FOR BABIES & TODDLERS: Safe, durable & perfectly sized for little hands, our bath toys no mold design is great for 6+ Months! Perfect for baby bath toys, bath toys for kids ages 1-3 & beyond!
  • MARINE 6 PACK: Set includes (6) exclusive Mold Free Bath Toys featuring Marine animals - Sea Otter, Sea Turtle, Clownfish, Sea Lion, Orca & Dolphin - must-have tub toys for a splashing good bathtime!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The Warden—my primary human—unleashed the six prisoners into the warm waters of the Porcelain Canyon tonight. I watched from my observation post atop the hamper, my gray tail twitching in silent judgment. They were a motley crew: a garish Clownfish, a smug-looking Sea Lion, a ponderous Turtle, and a pair of cetaceans, Orca and Dolphin, who seemed to have a silent understanding between them. They floated, sealed and stoic, their plastic eyes staring into the great, steamy nothingness. They were condemned, it seemed, to a life of aimless bobbing at the mercy of the Small Human's chaotic whims. My gaze, however, was drawn to the sixth. The Sea Otter. It floated on its back, paws clasped over its chest in a manner I found both familiar and dignified. There was a quiet intelligence in its molded form, a stark contrast to the others' vapid expressions. This one, I decided, was a political prisoner, wrongly accused. It did not belong in this aquatic jail. A rescue mission began to formulate in the tactical centers of my mind. The objective: extract the Otter. The Small Human was soon introduced to the scene, its shrieks of delight providing the perfect auditory cover for my operation. The Warden turned her back for a mere moment to retrieve a towel. That was my window. I dropped from the hamper as a silent, tuxedoed shadow, my paws making no sound on the cool tile. A single, fluid leap brought me to the precipice of the Canyon. The air was thick with the scent of lavender soap. Ignoring the lesser inmates, I extended a single, precise paw, my claws carefully retracted. The Otter’s smooth, PVC surface was slick, offering little purchase, but I hooked it deftly behind the head. With the target secured in my mouth, I retreated to the shadowy safety beneath the vanity. I dropped the Otter onto the floor and gave it a thorough inspection. It was, as suspected, utterly inert. It offered no satisfying squeak, no crinkle, no scent of prey. My grand liberation had yielded a silent, plastic lump. I felt a pang of disappointment. The heroic rescue had ended in anticlimax. With a sigh of aristocratic boredom, I gave the Otter a dismissive bat with my paw. It didn’t tumble; it *skittered*. It shot across the smooth tile, ricocheted off the cabinet, and spun to a halt near the door. My eyes widened. My whiskers twitched. It may have been a failure as a fellow creature, but as an indoor hockey puck? The possibilities were suddenly, thrillingly, immense. The rescue was a success after all.

Tub Works® Bath Crackles Bath Toy, Variety 12 Pack | Nontoxic & Fragrance-Free | Makes Bath Water Crackle & Pop for a Unique Kids Bath | Swirl Water for Fizzy Fun | Sensory Kids & Toddler Bath Toys

By: Tub Works

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with... 'Bath Crackles.' From what I can gather, these are small, colorful pebbles in a packet, designed to be ceremoniously dumped into the Great Water Basin of Unspeakable Wetness. The primary appeal, it seems, is the sound—a 'crackle, pop & fizz' meant to entertain the small human during its forced bathing ritual. Now, the sound itself is intriguing; it mimics the delightful crinkle of a treat bag or the frantic, final moments of a well-cornered silverfish. However, the requirement of being near a full tub of water to experience this auditory spectacle is a significant, and likely deal-breaking, design flaw. It appears to be an elaborate distraction, a sensory trick to make a miserable experience slightly less so for the human offspring, but a complete waste of my valuable, and dry, time.

Key Features

  • FUN IN THE TUB: Transform your little one's bath into a unique, sensory bathing experience with Bath Crackles! These fun bath crystals will make your bath water crackle, pop & fizz all around you.
  • SENSORY PLAY: Listen as the Bath Crackles make your bath water pop & snap sensationally. Feel as they fizz & crackle around you. Swirl the water and listen as the cracking & popping intensifies!
  • NONTOXIC & KID-FRIENDLY: Our Bath Crackles bath toys are formulated with gentle, nontoxic ingredients and are free of fragrance, parabens and sulfates - perfect for a safe, yet whimsical kids bath!
  • MESS-FREE FUN: Bath crystals are non-staining & dissolve fully in the tub. Simply drain the tub as usual. Crackles come in fun colors and may slightly tint water but are not meant to color the bath.
  • ENHANCE YOUR BATH: Bath Crackles will add a sensory boost to any bath! For even more fun, pair with your favorite kids bubble bath, kids bath bombs or bath color tablets!
  • EASY TO USE: Simply fill tub with water, sprinkle in bath crackles and listen as they pop, crackle & fizz. Stir water for louder crackles and more popping! Drain tub as usual when done.
  • IDEAL FOR TODDLERS & KIDS: Ideal for kids ages 1+, bath crackles are the perfect addition to your collection of toddler bath toys, kids bath toys, bathtub toys or stocking stuffers!
  • LEARN WITH BATH CRACKLES: A brilliant edition to bath time, Bath Crackles are perfect for encouraging creativity, inspiring sensory play & promoting STEM learning with toddlers and kids.
  • VARIETY 12 PACK: Bath Crackles come in individually packaged, easy-to-open pouches (1.05 ounce per pouch). The variety set includes: (4) bags of green & yellow crackles, (4) bags of blue & red crackles & (4) bags of blue & orange crackles.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The evening ritual was about to begin. I could tell by the sounds—the thunderous rush of water into the porcelain abyss, the gathering of towels, the feigned cheerful voice the human uses when trying to coax the small one into its aquatic prison. I, of course, observed from a safe and superior distance, draped elegantly over the back of the sofa. The human fumbled with a box, and a small, colorful packet fluttered to the floor, landing unnoticed near the edge of the living room rug. It lay there, an insignificant piece of litter in my otherwise pristine domain. Hours later, long after the splashing and protesting had ceased, I padded through the silent house. My patrol led me past the forgotten packet. As I paused to sniff my water bowl, a single, errant drop of water fell from my whisker and landed squarely on the paper. A faint *hiss* erupted, followed by a tiny *crackle*. My ears, capable of detecting the footfalls of a moth on velvet, swiveled instantly. This was no ordinary paper. It was… reactive. I nudged it with my nose. Another, louder *pop!* followed by a fizzing sound that tickled my senses. My initial disdain morphed into profound curiosity. This was not a toy to be drowned, but a prey to be hunted. I gave it a tentative pat with my paw, the slight dampness of my pad triggering a cascade of delightful crackles. It skittered across the hardwood floor, leaving a trail of snaps and pops in its wake. This was magnificent! It was a creature that sang its own death song as I stalked it. I batted it under the armchair, pounced as it re-emerged, and reveled in the symphony of tiny explosions that rewarded my every move. The toy fought back not with tooth or claw, but with a stimulating auditory protest that was utterly captivating. I spent the better part of an hour with my crackling quarry before finally cornering it beneath the radiator, its pops fading to a gentle fizzle. I heard a faint echo of the sound from the bathroom drain and understood. They were wasting these things, dissolving their genius in gallons of water. They saw a bath toy; I saw the perfect simulation of a beetle infestation, a delightful dry-land hunt in a convenient, mess-free packet. It is a product of accidental brilliance, I concluded, utterly squandered by those who cannot appreciate its true, terrestrial purpose. It is worthy, but only when liberated from the tyranny of the tub.

KSABVAIA Bath Toys - Bathtub Basketball Hoop for Kids Toddlers - Bath Toys Shower Toys for Kids Ages 4-8,Suction Cup Basketball Hoop & 3 No Hole Balls Set for Boys Girls

By: KSABVAIA

Pete's Expert Summary

My human seems to have acquired yet another plastic contraption, this one apparently from a brand whose name sounds like a keyboard smash: KSABVAIA. It’s a "bathtub basketball hoop," a ludicrous concept designed to distract their noisy, damp offspring. It consists of a small hoop with a net that sticks to smooth surfaces and three small, colorful spheres. While the hoop itself is an aesthetic offense and the idea of putting a ball *through* it is mind-numbingly simple, the balls themselves show some promise. They are described as having "no holes," which is irrelevant to me, but their size and bounciness could make for a decent game of "chase and lose under the refrigerator." It's a potential source of new projectiles, but the primary function is an utter waste of my valuable observation time.

Key Features

  • 【Bath Basketball Hoop】Our bathtub basketball set comes with 3 no hole balls,the kids bathtub basketball hoop comes with two sturdy suction cups that easily attach to any smooth surfaces.
  • 【Toddler Bath Toys】This set of basketball bath toys can divert your baby's attention in the bathtub while improving their hand-eye coordination. Let your baby enjoy these toddler bath toys for boys and girls.
  • 【Multifunctional Bath Toys】Our bathtub toys set is not only for pools and bathtubs, but also for windows and doors. Each set includes 3 no hole balls and a mini basketball hoop.
  • 【Safe and Durable】Our kid bath toys are made of high quality materials. The bathtub basketball hoop is easy to assemble and the suction cups easily attach to the bathtub or smooth surfaces. It is also easy to clean, just soak and rinse.
  • 【Perfect Gift for Toddlers】Our bathtub basketball hoop set is the perfect gift for toddlers and children. This fun, interactive toy encourages active play, improves hand-eye coordination and keeps kids focused in the bath.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived, as they always do, with an air of cheap plastic and false promises. My human, with the sort of misplaced enthusiasm I’ve come to expect, tore it open and revealed the contents: a garish orange ring attached to a net and three offensively bright little balls. "Look, Pete! A new toy!" she cooed, missing the point entirely. This wasn't for me; this was for the tiny human who sometimes visits and smells of milk and despair. She affixed the hoop to the large picture window in the living room, its suction cups making a vulgar smooching sound against the glass. My window. The one I use for important sunbeam absorption and squirrel-chastising. The indignity was palpable. She demonstrated its use, dropping the little yellow ball through the hoop. It bounced silently on the rug. She did it again with the blue one. I responded with the only appropriate action: turning my back to her and meticulously licking a paw, feigning complete and utter indifference. Her game was primitive. It lacked nuance, stealth, and the thrill of the hunt. Satisfied that she had established the "rules," she left the room, leaving the three spherical victims sitting in a small pile beneath their plastic prison. For a long moment, I simply watched. The afternoon sun caught the glossy surface of the orange ball, making it glisten. My tail gave a single, involuntary twitch. The house was silent. It was time. I slunk from my perch on the armchair, a gray shadow moving across the floor. I nudged the yellow ball first. It rolled with a satisfying, almost silent grace across the wood floor, a perfect prey. I gave it a sharp pat, sending it careening under the coffee table. A point for me. The blue one followed, its trajectory a beautiful arc toward the leg of the sofa. But the orange one... the orange one sat directly under the net. An idea, brilliant and entirely my own, sparked in my mind. The human’s game was to put the ball *in*. My game would be to keep it *out*. I batted the orange ball, not away, but *into* the dangling net, causing it to swing like a pendulum. Then, I pounced, batting it again before it could escape, trapping it in the mesh folds. The human had provided a cage, and I, in my infinite wisdom, had turned it into a strategic component of a far more complex game. The hoop was still an eyesore, a monument to foolishness, but as a goalie and a temporary prison for my spherical quarry? It had, against all odds, proven itself worthy of my attention.

Tub Works® Vehicles™ Bath Cars Mold Free Bath Toys, 6 Pack | Sealed, No Hole Bath Toys Design Keeps Moisture Out | Soft, Squeezable & Float on Water | Fun Baby & Toddler Bath Toys | City Car Bath Toys

By: Tub Works

Pete's Expert Summary

Honestly, my human has brought home another collection of brightly colored distractions for the small, loud human. They call them "Bath Cars," which is a fundamentally flawed concept. These are apparently six miniature, rubbery vehicles designed to float in the Great Wet Place, a room I avoid on principle. The humans seem pleased that they are "sealed" to prevent the growth of disgusting mold, a small mercy. For my part, they are too large to be proper prey and too simple to be a true intellectual challenge. However, their smooth, soft texture and lightweight nature suggest they might possess a certain... skittering potential, should one be fortunate enough to escape the dreaded tub and find its way onto the hallway floor. A potential waste of time, but one I shall observe from a safe, dry distance.

Key Features

  • FUN IN THE TUB: Shift your kids bath into high gear with these city bath cars! These mold free bath toys feature realistic city cars that are squeezable, float in water & sealed to keep moisture out!
  • MOLD-FREE DESIGN: Our baby & toddler bath toys are sealed to keep moisture out & make clean-up a breeze! A seamless, no hole bath toys design keeps water out & mold away - ideal for no mold bath toys!
  • SOFT, SQUEEZABLE & EASY TO GRASP: Our non mold bath toys are soft, smooth & squeezable, yet durable for long-lasting fun! Perfectly sized baby bath toys for little hands to easily grasp, hold & play!
  • SAFE & BABY-FRIENDLY: Made from soft & smooth, high-quality PVC, our bathtub toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free & BPA-free! These no hole bath toys ensure a safe, clean & fun baby or toddler bath!
  • PLAY & EXPLORE: Spark imaginative play, create fun bath games & identify vehicles with city car kids bath toys! Squeezable designs help develop fine motor skills & vibrant colors keep kids engaged.
  • VERSATILE WATER PLAY: No Hole Bath Toys are perfect for your kids bubble bath & beyond! Great for use as baby pool toys, water table toys for toddlers, summer toys or any-time toddler water toys!
  • IDEAL FOR BABIES & TODDLERS: Safe, durable & perfectly sized for little hands, our bath toys no mold design is great for 6+ Months! Perfect for baby bath toys, bath toys for kids ages 1-3 & beyond!
  • CITY VEHICLES 6 PACK: Set includes (6) exclusive Mold Free Bath Toys featuring fun car bath toys - Mail Truck, School Bus, Ice Cream Truck, Taxi, City Bus & Garbage Truck - must-have toddler car toys!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The operation was a fiasco from the start. From my surveillance post in the hall, I watched the Human fill the Great White Basin, a prelude to the ritualistic screaming and splashing of the Noisy One. This time, a new element was introduced: a squadron of brightly colored objects. The Human called them "city vehicles" as they were unceremoniously dumped into the water. One, a garish yellow thing meant to resemble the morning rumbler—the "School Bus"—teetered on the slick porcelain edge. A slight nudge from the Human's elbow sent it tumbling not into the water, but onto the bathmat below. A lone agent, separated from its unit. The Human, oblivious, closed the door. My moment had arrived. I crept forward, my paws silent on the tile. The target was inert, its plastic shell gleaming under the stark bathroom light. It had no scent save for the faint, sterile smell of its own creation. I nudged it with my nose. It was soft, yielding. The humans had described them as "squeezable," a feature designed for clumsy, small hands, but it gave my probing a satisfying, if silent, response. There was no rattle, no squeak. The promotional materials had boasted of its "no hole" design. An airtight vessel. What secrets did it hold? Was it a trojan horse, a silent observer sent to study the household's hydro-dynamics? My professional curiosity piqued, I decided on a more thorough interrogation. I hooked a single, perfect claw under its chassis and flipped it. It landed with a soft *plop* on its wheels. I batted it. It didn't tumble; it glided. It slid across the smooth tile with an elegance that betrayed its clumsy appearance. It spun out near the vanity, a perfect drift. This was no mere bath accessory. This was a finely-balanced floor curler. The lack of holes that prevented mold also gave it a seamless, smooth surface, ideal for high-speed, low-friction maneuvers. I spent the next ten minutes choreographing a silent ballet of physics and feline grace. The School Bus became my partner, sliding, spinning, and banking off the baseboards with uncanny precision. It was an object of singular purpose, but the humans had completely misunderstood what that purpose was. Its destiny wasn't to float aimlessly in a pool of lukewarm water, but to become the centerpiece of my grand floor-based sporting event. As I sent it careening under the sink with a final, expertly-placed tap, I made my ruling. A foolish toy for a foolish purpose, but by sheer accident of its design, a surprisingly worthy plaything. It may remain. For now.

Tub Works® Smooth™ Bath Crayons Bath Toy, 12 Pack | Nontoxic, Washable Bath Crayons for Toddlers & Kids | Unique Formula Draws Smoothly & Vividly on Wet & Dry Tub Walls | Hexagon Grip Bathtub Crayons

By: Tub Works

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with what appears to be a collection of brightly colored, waxy nubs. The packaging suggests they are 'Bath Crayons,' designed for the small, loud human to scribble on the porcelain walls of the Torture Chamber. While the idea of willingly entering that tiled abyss is laughable, I must concede a sliver of thoughtful design. The hexagonal shape means these sticks won't immediately roll under the credenza if one were to... escape. Still, as their primary function involves water and toddlers, they seem like a colossal waste of resources that could have been spent on premium tuna or a new sunbeam.

Key Features

  • FUN IN THE TUB: Using the tub walls as their canvas, little ones can create their own bathtime masterpiece with Bath Crayons made specifically to draw in vivid color on slick surfaces, like porcelain.
  • NON-TOXIC & KID-FRIENDLY: Our bath crayons for toddlers & kids are formulated with premium, nontoxic ingredients, each tested for quality and safety; The water soluble formula is perfect for bathtime.
  • EASY TO CLEAN: Our washable bath crayons are designed for use on tub walls and are easily wiped clean with damp sponge when done. Use as instructed on non-porous, tub surfaces that are in good repair.
  • EASY TO GRIP, HEXAGONAL SHAPE: Perfectly sized for little hands, our kids bath crayons feature a hexagonal-shape that is easier for little ones to grasp, helps promote proper grip & is more durable
  • SUPER SMOOTH TEXTURE: Our bath crayons are exclusively formulated to draw smoothly, even on wet or slick tub surfaces. Little ones will love how they glide along tile drawing in vivid color.
  • UNIQUELY FORMULATED: Unlike conventional bath crayons, these are uniquely designed to float in water and not disintegrate when wet; Solidly constructed and shaped for added durability, even when wet
  • VIBRANT, CLASSIC COLORS: 12 classic bath colors - red, blue, yellow, green, orange, purple, pink, teal, magenta, light green, azure & brown - the perfect bath crayon set to get toddlers & kids excited
  • IDEAL FOR TODDLERS & KIDS: Perfect for kids ages 3+, these nontoxic bathtub crayons are the perfect addition to your collection of toddler bath toys, kids bath toys, bathtub toys or shower toys
  • WATERPROOF WRAPPER: Each bath crayon comes in a protective waterproof paper wrapper perfectly molded to the crayon's hexagonal shape. To expose more crayon, simply push crayon up or peel back wrapper.
  • 12 COLOR SET: This package of Bath Crayons contains (12) premium bath crayons in an assortment of classic colors. For added fun in the tub, pair with Tub Works Bath Paint Soap (sold separately)

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The small human's ritualistic splashing had concluded, leaving the bathroom in its usual state of damp chaos. From my safe, dry perch on the hall rug, I observed the aftermath. My human had left the artifacts behind, a dozen colorful sticks arranged haphazardly on the white cliff of the tub's edge. Curiosity, that most treacherous of feline instincts, compelled me to investigate. I padded silently into the forbidden zone, my paws avoiding the treacherous puddles on the tile. They weren't just a jumble; it was a message, I was sure of it. I saw it then. An azure crayon, pointing directly out the door and towards the kitchen. A light green one, aimed squarely at the forbidden fern on the living room windowsill. And a stark red one, lying directly over the drain, a clear omen of danger. This was no accidental arrangement. It was a cosmic map, a prophecy laid out in wax for one intelligent enough to interpret it. The small human was not an artist, but an oracle, and these crayons were its divining rods. The hexagonal shape held them fast, preserving the integrity of the vision. Putting the prophecy to the test, I followed the azure sign. I stalked into the kitchen, sat precisely where the crayon's vector terminated, and stared intently at the lower cabinet where the emergency salmon pâté is stored. My human soon followed, sighing. "Oh, Pete, are you hungry again?" A moment later, a dollop of glorious, fishy paste was presented. It was true. The crayons had foretold the future. I glanced back toward the bathroom, a new respect dawning in my cynical heart. These were not toys. They were instruments of power, tools of manipulation far more sophisticated than a simple mew or a trip of the ankle. The small human could keep its bath time scribbles. I, Pete, had discovered their true purpose. From this day forward, I would study the daily arrangement of the Tub Works crayons, using their colorful prophecies to guide my naps, my snacks, and my strategic avoidance of the vacuum cleaner. They were, I concluded, utterly worthy. Not for play, but for power.

Austion Original 3 Compartment Horizontal Large Openings Bath Toy Organizer for Tub, Capacity Upgrade Bath Toy Storage and Holder, Bathtub Toy Holder for Easy Access and Sorting of Toys.

By: Austion

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in her endless quest to contain the chaos of her small, shrieking offspring, has procured a mesh contraption for the dreaded bathing chamber. It’s a net, essentially, with three distinct pouches, allegedly to prevent territorial disputes over squeaky plastic amphibians and other soggy atrocities. The whole thing hangs from the wall with what they claim are superior sticky hooks. The only redeeming quality is this promise of steadfastness; the last thing my finely tuned ears need is the sleep-shattering crash of a dozen wet toys at 3 a.m. While the mesh might offer a mildly interesting texture for a tentative claw-sharpening, its purpose is to sequester items I wouldn't deign to bat even if they were dry. A waste of wall space that could have held a sunning shelf.

Key Features

  • [NO MORE MESSY TOYS] If you have a "ton" of bath toys like my kids, try this - Austion original horizontal bath tub toy holde, It has been upgraded to twice the capacity to hold all your bath toys
  • [CONVENIENT LARGE OPENING] Austion bath toy storage for tub large opening makes it very easy for kids ages 4-8 to store their bath toys themselves, making it easy for parents and developing good storage habits for children
  • [3 COMPARTMENT DESIGN] This bathroom toy bag has a horizontal 3-part design so that each child can have their own compartment for their "individual toys". Perfect for families with multiple children
  • [SELECTED MATERIALS] After a year of testing, our bathtub toy storage are made from an expensive rigid mesh tear-resistant material that ensures quick drying and good breathability of the bath toy holder; we have also improved the sticky hook currently included, which is not only rust-free but also more adhesive, ensuring you won't be woken up by a dropped shower toy holder in the night
  • [QUALITY WITHOUT WORRY] Austion bath tub toy holder are designed exclusively by our own factory, tested repeatedly and inspected at every level by our dedicated staff. Please feel free to leave the quality to us
  • The Product's U.S. Appearance Patent Is Pending

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The dame brought it in on a Tuesday. I was occupying the bathmat, a neutral territory in the otherwise steamy and unpredictable landscape of the bathroom. She called it a “bath toy organizer.” I called it Exhibit A. It hung there on the tile wall, a stark, white grid of a thing, its three gaping mouths silent. A new player in this porcelain jungle. My case? The Unsolved Mystery of Where My Peace and Quiet Went. This thing, this “Austion,” was now a prime suspect. I conducted my initial surveillance from afar, my gray tail twitching. The small humans were immediately drawn to it, stuffing their brightly colored flotsam into its compartments with glee. The large openings made it easy for their clumsy paws, a design feature I noted with a professional nod. The perp was clever, making itself useful to the very agents of chaos it claimed to control. But I needed a closer look. Waiting until the room was empty and the air was thick with the ghost of soap, I made my move. A graceful leap to the toilet lid, then a delicate balancing act on the tub's edge. The material was a "rigid mesh," just as the intel suggested. Tough. Tear-resistant. Not some flimsy piece of work. I gave it a tentative pat. It barely yielded. My claws would find no purchase here. I peered into the three compartments, the separate holding cells. In one, a family of rubber ducks stared blankly. In another, a fleet of plastic boats. The third held a jumble of foam letters. It was an organized crime syndicate. The whole operation was held up by two impossibly strong hooks, gripping the tile with a tenacity I had to respect. There would be no sudden, noisy confessions from this one. My final verdict came as I settled back onto the plush, dry bathmat. This organizer wasn't for me. It wasn't a toy, a bed, or a worthy adversary. It was, however, a masterclass in quiet competence. It did its job without fuss, held its ground without failing, and most importantly, it kept the dripping, squeaking evidence of bath time contained and out of my way. It didn't bring back my peace and quiet, but it did impose a certain order on the chaos. For that, this "Austion" earned a sliver of my grudging, professional respect. Case closed. For now.

Tub Works® Emergency™ Cars Light Up Bath Toys, 6 Pack | Water-Activated Light Up Toys Flash & Change Color | Soft, Squeezable Baby & Toddler Bath Toys | Sensory Toys with Bath Lights for Kids Bath

By: Tub Works

Pete's Expert Summary

My human, in their infinite and often baffling wisdom, has procured a set of what they call "Emergency Cars" from a brand named "Tub Works." The name itself is an affront; I do no work, least of all in a tub. These are, apparently, a collection of soft, chewable-looking vehicles designed to be submerged in water, at which point they illuminate with flashing lights. From my perspective on the dry, sensible bath mat, the primary feature seems to be a fundamental design flaw: their singular interesting quality—the lights—is activated by the one element I have spent my entire sophisticated life avoiding. While the soft, squeezable nature has a certain appeal for a potential bunny-kicking session, the mandatory aquatic component renders them largely a waste of perfectly good plastic that could have been a fish on a string.

Key Features

  • FUN IN THE TUB: Brighten up your kids bath with light up bath toys! These soft & squeezable Emergency cars float in water & feature water-safe lights that flash & change colors when contacting water.
  • WATER-ACTIVATED LIGHTS: These tub toys feature water-safe LED lights that flash fun colors on contact with water! Cars flash for 20 seconds, then turn off until re-activated, extending battery life! Battery life 3 months+ with regular use.
  • SENSORY PLAY: Light up toys add a sensory boost to any bath! Emergency cars light-up, flashing multicolored sensory lights when they touch water—a fun sensory adventure with bath lights for kids!
  • MOLD-FREE DESIGN: Our bath toys for kids are sealed to keep moisture out & make clean-up easy! A seamless, no hole design keeps water out, mold away & batteries secure - ideal for light up bath toys!
  • SAFE & BABY-FRIENDLY: Bathtub toys feature water-safe lights, soft PVC and are nontoxic, Phthalate-free & BPA-free! Batteries (nonreplaceable) are securely sealed inside to ensure a safe toddler bath!
  • SOFT, SQUEEZABLE & EASY TO GRASP: Our light-up toddler bath toys are soft, smooth & squeezable, yet durable for long-lasting fun! Perfectly sized water toys for little hands to grasp, hold & play!
  • PLAY & EXPLORE: Spark imaginative play, learn cause-and-effect & create bath games with light-up kids bath toys! Squeezable designs help develop fine motor skills & colorful lights keep kids engaged.
  • VERSATILE WATER PLAY: Light Up Bath Toys are perfect for your kids bubble bath & beyond! Great for use as baby pool toys, water table toys for toddlers, summer toys or any-time toddler water toys!
  • IDEAL FOR BABIES & TODDLERS: Safe, durable & perfectly sized for little hands, our bath lights bath tub toys are great for 6+ Months! Perfect for baby bath toys, bath toys for kids ages 1-3 & beyond!
  • EMERGECNY VEHICLES 6 PACK: Includes (6) exclusive light up bath toys featuring first responders - Police Car, Fire Engine, Ambulance, Helicopter, Tow Truck & Rescue Boat - must-have baby bath toys!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived with the usual fanfare—that is, my human made cooing noises while I tried to determine if the cardboard was of a high enough quality for a proper sit. Inside were six brightly colored, rubbery lumps. A fire engine, a police car, things of that nature. The Small Human, my primary rival for household affection, shrieked with a glee I found unseemly. I sniffed one—a so-called "Ambulance." It smelled of nothing, a sterile void. It did not skitter. It did not crinkle. It did not contain catnip. I gave it a perfunctory bat with a soft paw; it merely wobbled, inert and pathetic. My verdict was swift: an insult to the very concept of "toy." I retired to the velvet armchair to groom my flawless tuxedo fur and forget the entire incident. Later, from the dreaded chamber of horrors the humans call "the bathroom," came the sounds of splashing and those same delighted shrieks. My professional duty as household supervisor compelled me to investigate. Peeking around the doorjamb, I saw a scene of chaos. The Small Human was flailing in the Great White Bowl, and the water around it was alive with dancing, pulsing lights. Red, blue, green, and white strobed against the porcelain, casting shimmering, hypnotic patterns on the ceiling. It was… captivating. My eyes, built to track the faintest motion, were transfixed. I realized with a jolt that the source of this magnificent light show was the collection of pathetic rubber lumps, now transformed by their immersion in the enemy element. The conflict raged within my superior mind. The beauty of the light versus the horror of the water. An unsolvable conundrum. The next day, however, an opportunity presented itself. The Human, after watering one of the many useless green things they keep in pots, left the watering can on the floor. A single, perfect droplet clung to its spout. Nearby, forgotten on the rug, lay the "Police Car" toy. A thought, brilliant and audacious, sparked in my brain. With the stealth of a shadow, I approached the watering can. I nudged its spout with my nose, a delicate, calculated maneuver. The droplet quivered, detached, and fell, landing with a minuscule *plink* directly on the roof of the plastic car. For twenty glorious seconds, the toy erupted in a silent, flashing frenzy of red and blue. It was my own private emergency, a secret rave on the living room floor. I had conquered the system. I had bent the rules of their world to fit my own. The toy required water, yes, but it never specified *how much* water. It is a deeply flawed product, demanding an unholy alliance with moisture. But for the cat clever enough to find a loophole, it provides a rather satisfying, if brief, spectacle. It may remain in my kingdom.