A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Climber Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
BlueWood
Child Gets the Ground Floor, I Get Everything Else
★★★★☆
I INMOTION
Chariot Earns My Scent Mark, Staff Earns Forgiveness
★★★★☆
Shindel
Fifty Rubbery Invaders, Neutralized Without a Pounce
★☆☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Step2
The Hideout Downstairs Was Mine All Along
Our critic dismisses the slide and steering wheels as rookies' equipment but commandeers the shaded storage cavity as a private detective agency with superior sightlines.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My Human seems to believe this colossal plastic structure, ostensibly for the tiny, shrieking humans, is something that might concern me. They call it a "Woodland Climber." I call it an unsubtle, multi-level monument to questionable taste that now dominates my backyard kingdom. It boasts a climbing wall, which is a laughable imitation of a real tree, and a …

Continued on the story page →
Image of Step2 Woodland Climber II Kids Playset, Ages 2 –6 Years Old, Toddler Slide and Climbing Wall, Outdoor Playground for Backyard, Sturdy Plastic Frame, Easy Set Up
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
They built me an office. Case closed.
From The Desk
Image of Eezy Peezy Mega Pyramid Monkey Bars Climbing Tower Active Outdoor Fun for Kids Ages 3 to 8 Years Old, Blue/Green
Eezy Peezy
Carpenter Bee Clears the Summit, Pete Claims It

My human has, in his infinite and questionable wisdom, acquired what appears to be the skeletal remains of some garish, plastic beast. This 'Eezy Peezy Mega Pyramid,' as the box c…

★★★★☆ — Conquered. Throne secured. Bee: respected.
More From The Desk
Image of Step2 Panda Climber | Outdoor Toddler Activity Playset, Tan/Red/Yellow/Blue
Step2
Vulgar Top Deck Tolerated; Undercroft Is Mine

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a garish plastic ziggurat for the backyard, ostensibly for the smaller, louder h…

★★★☆☆
Image of BlueWood Pikler Triangle Set 7in1 Foldable Baby Climbing Toys Wooden Montessori Climbing Set with Arch&Ramp&Ladder Baby Climber Indoor Jungle Gyms for Toddlers Montessori Toys - Rainbow
BlueWood
Rainbow Arch Rocks Me to Glorious Enlightenment

My human seems to believe that the tiny, loud humans who occasionally visit require... structured amusement. This latest offering from a brand called…

★★★★★
Image of LulliSpace 6 in 1 Toddler Slide for Toddler Age 1-3,Kids Climber Slider for Indoor Outdoor Playground with Basketball Hoop,Storage and Telescope,L Shaped Slide for Toddler Climber Playset
LulliSpace
Oracle-Scope Consulted, Hidden Temple Claimed

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has seen fit to erect a new monument in the living room. They call it a "Toddler Slide." I ca…

★★★☆☆
Image of Step2 Truck Climber, Kids Outdoor Playset, Backyard Playground Set, Slide & Climbing Wall, Outside Jungle Gym, for Toddlers 2-5 Years Old
Step2
Under the Wheels: A Forward Operating Base Is Born

My staff has seen fit to clutter my pristine garden with... a 'Truck Climber.' It is an immense, garishly colored plastic effigy of a vehicle, clearl…

★★★★☆
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