My human has procured what appear to be two slender, polished sticks of bamboo, tethered together by a length of clear, flexible filament. Hailing from a place called Japan, these "Clover Takumi" needles are supposedly for the high-minded purpose of looping yarn into fabric, a process I find tediously slow but occasionally rewarding when a stray ball of woo…
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My human has presented me with what appears to be a stationary, smiling plant made of yarn. They call it an "Emotional Support Tulip," which I can on…
So, my human, the Tall One with the endlessly amusing opposable thumbs, has acquired a box of what appears to be a deconstructed version of a toy. Th…
My human has presented me with what appears to be a collection of flat, two-dimensional lies. These "BulbaCraft" items are vinyl stickers depicting v…
My human has brought home… a vegetable. Not a real one, mind you, but a small, lumpy effigy of a potato, crudely fashioned from what appears to be st…
Honestly, my human’s ability to misunderstand the fundamental concept of a “toy” is a constant source of mild amusement. This so-called product is, b…
My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what they call an "Emotional Support Crochet Dumpster Fire." It is, ess…