A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The WWE Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: Mattel
A Cosmic Portal, Briefly, Then a Throne
Pete dismisses the championship belt as a slain serpent, discovers a funhouse reflection of himself in its golden medallion, and crowns himself conqueror by sleeping on it.

My human has procured what appears to be a garish harness for a much larger, less refined creature. It's a long strip of "leather-like" material, a term which in my experience means "pleasantly textured for a single claw-sharpening session before it rips." It is dominated by a monstrously large, shiny gold medallion that, I must admit, catches the light in …

Continued on the story page →
Image of Mattel WWE Championship Title, World Heavyweight Championship Role-Play & Costume Piece, Leather-Like Belt 3+ Feet with One-Time Adjustment
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
Conquered the portal; claimed the throne.
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