A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The The Muppets Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Just Play
Rocksplosion Declared a Bowling Set, Gonzo Taken Prisoner
★★☆☆☆
Funko
Vinyl Ghost of Toys Ignored Delivers Urgent Message
★★★☆☆
LEGO
Kermit's Banjo Liberated, Joins Refrigerator Graveyard
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: USAOPOLY
Feline Oracle Solves Murder Mystery Before Dinner
Our critic cuts through the Muppet Theater's whodunit in seconds, then reminds the household that the real mystery is why his bowl is empty.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented another cardboard rectangle, this one filled with colorful little idols and a complicated map. They call it a "game," specifically CLUE with those noisy felt creatures, The Muppets. It appears to be a ritual where the bipedal staff sit around the table for an extended period, moving tiny statues of a frog and a pig between rooms and m…

Continued on the story page →
Image of CLUE: The Muppets, Classic Board Game, Solve The Mystery in The Muppet Theater with Kermit, Fozzie, & More, Discover Who, Where, and What Weapon was Used, Officially Licensed The Muppets Merchandise
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
I solved it. They just caught up.
From The Desk
Image of LEGO Minifigures The Muppets Limited Edition Collectible 71033 Toys for Role-Playing or a Figurine Collection; A Creative Addition to Any Set for Kids Ages 5 and up (1 of 12 to Collect)
LEGO
Miss Piggy Dethroned, Deposited in Wool Prison

My human presented me with a crinkly plastic bag, a vessel of potential disappointment from a brand called LEGO. From what I can gather, these are small, hard plastic effigies of …

★★☆☆☆ — Good taste restored. One decisive nudge.
More From The Desk
Image of Funko Pop Disney: The Muppets Mayhem – Baby Animal - Collectable Vinyl Figure - Gift Idea - Official Merchandise - Toys for Kids & Adults - Comedy Fans - Model Figure for Collectors and Display
Funko
Soulless Vinyl Creature Promoted to Personal Confessor

My Human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has brought another small, hard effigy into my domain. This one, they chirp, is a "Funko Pop,…

★★★☆☆
Image of GUND Sesame Street Official Mr. Snuffleupagus Muppet Plush, Premium Plush Toy for Ages 1 & Up, Brown, 16”
GUND
Brown Shag Beast Survives Bunny-Kick Stress Test, Claimed

My Human has presented me with what appears to be a large, immobile brown beast from a company called GUND, which they seem to think impresses me. It…

★★★★☆
Image of Squishmallows Original 8-Inch Kermit & Miss Piggy Set - Disney The Muppets - Official Jazwares Plush - Collectible Soft & Squishy Stuffed Animal Toy - Gift for Kids, Girls & Boys
Squishmallows
Frog Hired as Wrestling Partner, Pig Demoted to Chin Rest

My human has presented me with what appear to be two plush orbs masquerading as famous puppets: one a rather anxious-looking green frog, the other a …

★★★☆☆
Image of Kermit Frog Hand Puppet, Frog Plush,The Muppets Show, Soft Frog Puppet Doll Suitable for Role Play -Green, 24 Inches
SUIYUEOUR
Puppet Vanquished by Targeting Its Human Power Source

Ah, my human presents me with another potential distraction. This is a "Kermit Frog Hand Puppet" by a brand called "SUIYUEOUR," which sounds less lik…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Tonies Kermit The Frog Audio Toy Figurine from Disney's The Muppets
Pete Becomes Conductor: One Paw, On-Off Orchestra

So, the human has presented me with a small, green plastic idol. Apparently, when you place this "Kermit" creature on its special box (which is, I no…

★★★★★
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