A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Foam Pizzas Intercepted Mid-Air; Vehicle Granted Reprieve
Our critic ignores the noisy vehicle entirely and becomes a master interceptor of its airborne foam discs, ruling the clumsy green artillery piece fit to remain on those terms alone.

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has presented me with what they call a "Pizza Blaster." It appears to be a garish green conveyance, supposedly inspired by some human folklore involving amphibious martial artists. It is a remote-controlled vehicle, a classic attempt to disrupt my mid-afternoon sunbeam meditation with its whirring and …

Continued on the story page →
Image of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Toy, Pizza Blaster RC Vehicle with 6 Foam Pizza Launchers, TMNT Remote Control Toy for Kids, Mutant Mayhem, Ages 5+
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
Excellent prey-delivery artillery.
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