A photo of Pete the cat

Pete's Toy Box: Disney

Skillmatics Guess in 10 Disney, Card Game for Girls, Boys, Kids, Teens, Adults, Who Love Cinderella, Mickey Mouse, Moana, Gifts for Ages 6, 7, 8, 9 and Up

By: Skillmatics

Pete's Expert Summary

So, the Tall Ones have procured another box of shiny, flat rectangles. From my observations, this is some sort of primitive human ritual where they make noises at each other based on pictures of cartoon animals and royalty. They call it a "game." Honestly, the primary appeal seems to be the shouting, which can be terribly disruptive to a mid-afternoon sunbeam nap. The cards themselves, however, are thin, light, and possess corners that look satisfyingly chewable. The box is, of course, the main prize—a compact, sturdy structure perfectly sized for a contemplative sit. While the intended use is a complete waste of opposable thumbs, its components show some promise for batting, hiding, and asserting spatial dominance.

Key Features

  • ULTIMATE GUESSING GAME: Divide yourselves up in teams, or play one on one, and ask up to 10 questions to guess the Disney character on the Game Card! Is the character an animal? Does this character wear a blue gown? Be the first player to win 7 Game Cards!
  • PLAY IT ANY TIME, ANY PLACE: Includes 52 Collectible Game Cards, 6 Clue Cards, 1 Card Holder and an Instructional manual and a portable box. Ideal for game nights, parties, playdates, road trips, travel, and outdoor adventures.
  • FUN FAMILY GAME: Exciting for all ages 6 and up! Guess in 10 Disney is the perfect addition to your friends and family game night, promoting fun and interaction.
  • STRATEGIZE YOUR WAY TO VICTORY: Make use of exciting features such as Clue Cards and Bonus Questions to plan your way to winning 7 Game Cards.
  • BEST GIFT EVER!: This game is the best gift for any Disney fan! Filled with interesting facts and trivia about the Cinderella, Pinocchio, Mickey Mouse, Simba and more. Disney enthusiasts are sure to have a super fun time!
  • NUMBER OF PLAYERS AND AVERAGE PLAYTIME: This Disney trivia and strategy game can be played with 2 to 6 players. The average playtime is 20 minutes.
  • BUILD KEY SKILLS: Guess in 10's age-appropriate content and gameplay fosters communication, decision-making, problem-solving, and creative thinking skills in a fun and engaging manner.
  • TRAVEL-FRIENDLY: Your child can become an instant champion by playing at game nights, gatherings, birthday parties, play dates, road trips, plane trips, outdoors, and more!

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The evening's peace was shattered by the crinkle of cellophane, a sound that promises either a bag of inferior, crunchy food or, as in this case, a new source of human distraction. From my throne atop the sofa's highest cushion, I watched my human and her companion lay out the contents of the "Skillmatics" box. They held up little cards, peering at them with far too much intensity before asking each other a series of inane questions. "Does this character live in the sea?" they'd ask. "Does he have a magical friend?" I groomed a pristine white paw, utterly unimpressed. It seemed a dreadfully inefficient way to communicate. Eventually, their attention waned, and a single card was left abandoned on the low table, face up. A flicker of movement from the television cast a gleam across its glossy surface. Curiosity, that most base and feline of instincts, compelled me to glide from my perch. I landed silently on the rug and approached the object. It depicted a lion, but a most peculiar one. His fur was a garish, unnatural yellow-orange, his mane a ridiculous puff of red, and his eyes were far too large and trusting. This was Simba, the card's unfortunate subject. I lowered my head, sniffing delicately at the image. An insult. This two-dimensional pretender was an affront to all of catkind. Where was the regal bearing? The sleek, predatory grace? I possess more majesty in a single twitch of my tail than this "king" displayed in his entire illustrated form. The humans' questions echoed in my mind. "Is he royalty?" Yes, a supposed prince who cavorted with a warthog. Unthinkable. "Does he have a famous song?" I'm sure it's dreadful. I imagined my own ballad, a mournful and complex opera about the tragedy of a slightly-less-than-full food bowl. With a soft *thwack*, I raised a paw and sent the card skittering across the hardwood floor. It slid beautifully, spinning under the armchair with a satisfying rustle. An excellent projectile. The artwork was an abomination, a mockery of my noble lineage, but the card's physical properties were undeniable. It was a worthy subject for a hunt. I crouched low, my tail giving a slow, deliberate wave. The game, as the humans knew it, was over. My game was just beginning. This Simba card would be found, batted, and ultimately lost beneath the heaviest piece of furniture as a lesson in true feline superiority.

Bitzee, Disney with 30 Interactive Characters Inside, Reacts to Swipes, Tilts & Taps, Disney Toys & Digital Pet Kids Toys for Girls, Boys & Fans

By: BITZEE

Pete's Expert Summary

So, my human has acquired a small, purple plastic clamshell that apparently contains the disembodied spirits of thirty different cartoon creatures. It’s called a “Bitzee.” They insist it’s not a screen, but it flashes and chirps and demands attention, so the distinction is lost on me. The concept is that you can “touch” these little light-phantoms and they will react. Frankly, it seems like a tremendous amount of effort for the human, who could be using those same fingers to provide a quality chin-scratch. The only potentially redeeming quality is the physical pod itself, which looks just dense enough to make a satisfying *thump* when swatted from the edge of the coffee table. Otherwise, it’s a glorified lightning bug in a box, a distraction from my far more important and tangible fluffiness.

Key Features

  • DIGITAL FRIENDS YOU CAN INTERACT WITH: Play with digital versions of Disney characters like never before with Bitzee. Responds to swipes, tilts & taps with interactions & sounds. Includes 3 AA batteries
  • 30 DISNEY CHARACTERS IN 1 POD: Unlock Disney’s Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse & fan favorites from Disney & Pixar’s Finding Nemo, Toy Story & Disney’s Frozen, Moana, The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast & more
  • MAGICAL MOVIE MOMENTS: Discover each Disney & Pixar character’s iconic moment – Mickey Mouse putting on his Sorcerer’s Hat, Bruni nuzzling Elsa’s hand, Stitch surfing, Flounder escaping the shark & more
  • SO MANY WAYS TO PLAY: Earn Wishing Stars to attract more virtual Disney friends. Wave the pod & open to reveal your new character. With rare & legendary characters, play Bitzee kids games
  • MUST-HAVE GIFT FOR DISNEY FANS & KIDS: Explore the world of Disney with Bitzee, toys for ages 5-7 and up & Disney fans of all ages. A screen-free alternative to a handheld game console & video games
  • Includes: 1 Bitzee, 1 Quick Start Guide, 1 Instruction Sheet, 3 AA Batteries
  • Covered by the Spin Master Care Commitment. See below for full details

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The purple pod landed on the ottoman with a soft thud, an unwelcome alien presence in my napping territory. My human, whom I shall refer to as The Provider, was hunched over it, making strange cooing noises. A flickering light emanated from its open maw, accompanied by a series of high-pitched digital chirps that set my teeth on edge. From my vantage point on the sofa’s armrest, I narrowed my eyes. It was clearly a summoning device. The Provider was attempting to conjure lesser demons into our living space. I’d seen this before in horror films The Provider watches when they think I’m asleep. I waited until The Provider was called away by the mystical chime of the "microwave," a device I respect for its ability to heat my wet food. This was my chance. I leaped silently onto the ottoman, my paws making no sound on the fabric. The purple clamshell was open, and inside, a small, blue fish-demon made of pure light swam in frantic circles. The Provider had called it “Nemo.” A foolish name for a captive. I peered closer, sniffing the plastic casing. It smelled of disappointment and factory dust. I extended a single, perfect claw and gently tapped the flickering light. The fish-demon recoiled, letting out a panicked squeak. So, it could sense me. Interesting. I decided to test the limits of this containment field. I nudged the entire device with my nose, and the world inside the box tilted violently. The light-fish tumbled and then corrected itself. I was a god to it, a shaker of its tiny universe. A surge of power, not entirely unpleasant, coursed through me. The Provider returned, snatching the pod away. "Oh, Pete, you found my Bitzee! Look, if I wave it like this…" They shook the device, and with a flourish, the fish-demon vanished, replaced by a lion cub. It was a shapeshifter. The plot, as they say, had thickened. My final verdict came later that evening. As The Provider sat, mesmerized, swiping and tilting the pod to appease the various light-spirits within, I saw its true purpose. This wasn't a toy. It was a mesmerist's charm, designed to hold a human's complete and undivided attention for long stretches. While The Provider was enthralled by the flickering lion, the warmest spot on the fleece blanket was left unguarded. The hand that would normally be petting me was occupied. This was an outrage, but also… an opportunity. I settled into the premium napping location, purring with the deep satisfaction of a strategist who has seen the bigger picture. The pod could stay. It was a useful, if noisy, tool for human management.

Ravensburger Eye Found It World of Disney Card Game - Fun and Educational Spot It for Toddlers, Preschoolers, Boy and Girls Ages 3-8 - Family-Friendly for Endless Fun

By: Ravensburger

Pete's Expert Summary

Ah, another offering from the humans. This one comes in a box from Ravensburger, a brand I recognize. They typically make those large, flat puzzles that my human stares at for hours, effectively turning her into a piece of furniture, which I can appreciate. This product appears to be a collection of small, stiff, colorful rectangles featuring cartoon animals and people. Its purpose, as far as I can gather, is to make small humans sit still and point at things, a noble goal if it leads to fewer instances of my tail being pulled. While the game itself—a tedious visual exercise—is an obvious waste of a superior mind such as my own, the components are not without potential. The cards look sleek and might slide magnificently across the hardwood floors with a well-aimed swat. The box, if appropriately sized, could also serve as an adequate, if temporary, throne. A mixed bag, certainly.

Key Features

  • Dive into Disney Eye Found It for fun with toddlers, preschoolers, kids 3–8, and adults. Perfect for game nights, birthdays, sleepovers, and playdates, creating joyful family memories through engaging gameplay
  • Kids boost observation and attention skills with Eye Found It card game. Fun and educational, it mixes Disney magic with learning, keeping children excited, focused, and entertained as they race to spot characters
  • Must-have kids game for family night, birthdays, sleepovers, or classroom fun. Offers exciting play for both kids and adults, making it a top choice for multiplayer search-and-find card games
  • Quick to Learn, Easy to Play: With simple instructions and fast-paced gameplay, kids can start playing in minutes, making it a great choice for independent or family play. The compact design makes this an ideal travel game
  • Delight Disney fans with this fun search-and-find game Supports cognitive growth, Montessori-style learning, and skill-building—perfect for birthdays, holidays, or on-the-go entertainment

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The new box arrived with the smell of fresh ink and condescension. My human placed it on the floor, beaming as if she’d just presented me with a freshly caught salmon. I circled it once, my white paws silent on the rug. The blue Ravensburger logo was familiar, a promise of sturdy German engineering that usually translated to a high-quality napping box. I gave an approving slow blink. But when she opened it, my hopes crumbled like a stale kibble. It wasn’t a self-pouncing mouse or a feather wand. It was… paper. Dozens of glossy, flat cards depicting an assortment of garishly cheerful characters. She tried to engage me, holding up a card with a large-eared mouse. "Look, Pete! It's Mickey!" I stared back, unimpressed, and began meticulously cleaning a spot on my gray tuxedo chest to signal my profound disinterest. The real tragedy began when the Human’s small niece, a creature of chaotic energy and sticky fingers, came to visit. They spread the cards on the floor, creating a colorful minefield. The Small One would shriek with delight upon finding a cartoon lion or a mermaid. It was a pathetic spectacle, a hunt with no chase, no thrill, no satisfying crunch. I had retired to the arm of the sofa to preside over their nonsense with silent judgment when a peculiar thing happened. The Human flipped a "Find It" card. The image on it was a small, golden bell. The Small One, her brow furrowed in concentration, scanned the larger picture card, her little finger hovering. For a moment, the room was still. The focused energy, the silent scanning… it was a primitive, two-dimensional echo of the hunt. I felt a flicker of something ancient stir within me. As the Small One finally tapped the image of the fairy holding the bell, her victory cry broke the spell. In that moment of shared distraction, my eyes locked on a loose card near the edge of the rug. It featured a mermaid with offensively vibrant red hair. It lay there, an affront to good taste. I descended from my perch in a single, fluid motion. A flick of my wrist, a precise extension of my claws just enough to grip, and *thwack*. The card went airborne, spinning like a saucer before skittering halfway across the kitchen floor. It slid beautifully. The humans laughed, thinking I was playing their silly game. Let them have their illusions. The game is a bore, but its ammunition? Superb. A grudging pass.

Just Play Disney Munchlings Squeeze-A-Munch Large Scented Mint Dipped Ice Cream Sandwich Mickey Mouse 10-inch Plush, Kids Toys for Ages 0

By: Just Play

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented me with this… thing. It’s a "Just Play" creation, a brand that sounds distressingly generic, though this one bears the insignia of the Great Mouse, so at least it won't disintegrate upon first contact. They call it a "Mickey Mouse Munchling," a grotesque fusion of a cartoon rodent and an ice cream sandwich. Its primary features appear to be its significant size—large enough for a proper nap—and its "super soft" textures, which my claws are already itching to test for kneading potential. The most questionable aspect is the scent: "mint." Is this the glorious, mind-altering mint of the catnip variety, or the bland, vaguely medicinal mint of the human's mouth paste? The lack of feathers or strings is a demerit, suggesting this is less a toy for a sophisticated predator and more a glorified, oddly-shaped pillow. Its worthiness will hinge entirely on its napping ergonomics and whether that scent is an insult or an invitation.

Key Features

  • Includes: 1 Disney Munchlings Mickey Mouse plush toy.
  • Cuteness at Large: The Disney Munchlings Squeeze-A-Munch Large Mint Dipped Ice Cream Sandwich Mickey Mouse scented plush toy is fun to squish and smell delish!
  • Delectable and Collectible: Munchlings collectible kids’ toys combine sweet desserts and beloved characters from Disney and Pixar—for an adorable fusion of ultra-soft plush treats and familiar Disney friends.
  • A Sweet Treat for Everyone: Disney Mickey Mouse is reimagined as a 10-inch-tall, mint-scented ice cream sandwich plushie, complete with mint green icing, chocolatey plush wafers, and rainbow sprinkles.
  • Ready to Snuggle: This cuddly Mickey Mouse dessert plushie is sculpted from super soft, green, brown, and white textured mixed fabrics with embroidered and printed details.
  • Crave the Cuteness: For a smorgasbord of dessert fun, add all 6 Disney Munchlings Squeeze-A-Munch large, scented plush characters to any kids’ collection of stuffed animals and plushies.
  • A Sweet Treat for Everyone: Officially-licensed Disney Munchlings Squeeze-A-Munch plushies are soft and cuddly enough for infants, and make wonderful birthday or anytime surprises for Disney fans and kids of all ages.
  • Ages 0 months and up.

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The monolith appeared after the human returned from an excursion, its box crackling with the sound of my impending disappointment. They placed it on the sunbeam spot, a clear act of war. It was a monument to poor taste: a 10-inch effigy of the cheerful mouse, his iconic form hideously melted into a block of dessert. The brown sides had the texture of a well-worn velvet cushion, while the top was a ghastly, chemical green, dotted with colorful, embroidered nubs that were supposed to be sprinkles. And the smell… it was an affront. Not the wild, euphoric mint of my sacred nip plant, but the sterile, sweet mint of the human’s morning ritual. A mockery. I approached with the caution of a seasoned diplomat entering hostile territory. My first prod was met with a squishy resistance, a soft sigh of air escaping its plush prison. A "Squeeze-A-Munch," they called it. A ridiculous name for a silent, inanimate lump. I circled it, my tail twitching with disdain. The embroidered face of the mouse stared blankly, its smile unchanging as I delivered a series of sharp, testing bats to its chocolatey wafer-body. It merely wobbled, offering no fight, no satisfying rustle, no thrill of the hunt. It was an insult to my predatory instincts, a plush pacifist in a world that demands action. Defeated in my quest for a worthy adversary, I decided to claim it as spoils. I leaped atop the green expanse, my paws sinking into the soft fabric. It was… surprisingly stable. From this new vantage point, I surveyed my domain—the living room, the hallway, the tantalizingly closed door to the forbidden bedroom. The object conformed to my shape, a custom-made dais. As I settled, curling into a perfect circle, the offensive mint scent began to fade into a dull, ambient hum. It wasn't exciting, but it wasn't unpleasant. It was simply… there. My purr started, a low, rumbling engine of reluctant contentment. The human, of course, misinterpreted this as affection. "He loves it!" they chirped. They were wrong. I did not "love" this bizarre confectionary totem. I had conquered it. I had assessed its pathetic qualities as a toy and found it wanting. But as a throne? As a slightly-too-green, oddly-scented, but undeniably comfortable platform from which to judge all of creation? In that, it had found its true purpose. The monolith could stay. It was a useful pedestal for my greatness.

LEGO Disney Princess Twirling Ariel Toy - Building Toy for Kids, Girls and Boys, Ages 5+ - Little Mermaid Toy for Fans of Movie - Ariel Doll Gift Idea for Birthdays - 43259

By: LEGO

Pete's Expert Summary

My Human, in a fit of what I can only assume is nostalgia for a time before she understood her true purpose (serving me), has acquired a collection of colorful plastic landmines from the Danish brick empire. The objective appears to be the painstaking assembly of a small shrine dedicated to a mythical sea-dweller with questionable taste in cutlery. The primary feature is a spinning platform, which, I admit, holds a sliver of potential to captivate my attention for approximately seventeen seconds. The inclusion of a miniature fish and a tiny fork are the only true highlights, as both are perfectly sized for being batted into the dark, irretrievable void beneath the sofa. The rest of this static diorama seems an egregious waste of prime napping real estate.

Key Features

  • LITTLE MERMAID TOY – Girls and boys ages 5 and up can play out creative roles with this Twirling Ariel toy and building kit based on Disney’s The Little Mermaid movie
  • REENACT THE MOVIE – This building toy includes a stand with a turntable and key, an Ariel LEGO ǀ Disney mini-doll figure in a ‘diamond’ dress and a Flounder LEGO ǀ Disney fish figure
  • MULTI-FUNCTIONAL TOY – Turn the key on the stand to spin the plate and twirl Ariel around, then store the LEGO ǀ Disney mini-doll figure inside the ‘diamond’ dress using the umbrella as a lid
  • BUILDABLE DISPLAY SET – Place Ariel, her fork and an umbrella on display with this playset, and add Flounder and the ‘diamond’ to the stand, or play out new stories with Ariel and Flounder
  • GIFT IDEA FOR KIDS – This LEGO ǀ Disney building set features 2 movie characters and a stand with turning plate, making it a fun birthday gift that’s easy to play with on the go
  • DIMENSIONS – The building set with stand and character measures over 4 in. (11 cm) high

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The ritual began at dusk. My Human sat hunched over the coffee table, her brow furrowed in concentration, performing the sacred clicks and snaps of assembly. I watched from the arm of the sofa, my tail giving a slow, judgmental twitch. Piece by piece, an altar took shape. Upon it, she placed a small, red-haired idol in a garish blue dress and her tiny, golden-scaled acolyte. A cult was forming in my living room, and I, the resident deity, had not been consulted. The final piece was a small key. With a reverence that should be reserved for opening a can of premium tuna, my Human inserted it into the base and turned. The idol, Ariel, began to spin. Around and around she went in a silent, ceaseless pirouette. My Human’s eyes were glazed over, captivated by the motion. This was it. A hypnotic prayer wheel, designed to draw focus away from the true, furry center of the household. The little fork she held wasn't a utensil; it was a ceremonial trident. This blasphemy could not stand. I descended from my perch with the gravitas of a forgotten god. My paws made no sound on the hardwood floor as I approached the shrine. I did not rush. I circled the coffee table once, my gray tuxedo a stark contrast to the toy’s saccharine palette. I sniffed the base. Plastic. Soulless. I made eye contact with the eternally smiling fish, Flounder, and felt nothing but pity for his misguided devotion. I then looked at my Human, who was still mesmerized by the twirling figure. With a flick of my wrist so swift it was a mere blur of white fur, I batted the tiny fork. It skittered across the table and vanished over the edge. The spell was partially broken; my Human blinked. It wasn't enough. I needed to stop the source. I reared up slightly, and with the precision of a surgeon, I hooked a single claw around the key and gently pulled. The mechanism stopped. The idol stood still. Silence returned. My Human finally looked at me, and I met her gaze with a level stare that said, "There is only one being in this house worthy of such mindless worship." The toy was an unworthy trifle, but its tiny, lost trident would make for an excellent offering to the god under the couch.

Spin Master Games, Disney in Character Card Game, Interactive Charades, Disney Trivia & More for Hilarious Family Fun, Indoor Activity, 2-4 Players, for Ages 8 & Up

By: Spin Master Games

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has presented another colorful box, a product from "Spin Master Games," a purveyor of things that typically involve loud exclamations and small, easily losable pieces. This particular diversion is called "Disney in Character," and it seems designed to make the bipedal staff of this house behave even more erratically than usual. They are expected to mimic characters from the glowing rectangle, answering questions and performing actions like "roaring" or "singing." Frankly, the potential for high-quality, humiliating entertainment for me is significant. However, the associated noise could be a major disruption to my napping schedule, and while the included "tokens" might offer some brief batting amusement, the true value of this product is as a spectator sport, not an interactive experience for a feline of my caliber.

Key Features

  • Really Get Into Character: Become your favorite characters in this more-than-charades Disney family party game that tests your Disney knowledge & your acting skills
  • Who Are You: Take turns answering questions & following the prompts on the card as your character. Sing a song like Ariel or let out a roar like Simon to convince your friends & family you are your character
  • Entry To Charades & Acting Games: Disney in Character will become a quick family favorite for fans of Disney & Disney movies with easy instructions & repeatable playability. For 2-4 players, ages 8+
  • Family Game Night: Make memories with board games for kids 4-6, board games for kids 6-8 & board games for kids 8-12. Take the fun outside with camping games & outdoor games for adults and family
  • Spin Master Toys & Games: Looking for kids games, yard games & card games for grown ups, kids or teens? Shop everything from family game night, travel games, puzzles for adults & family games
  • Includes: 100 Cards, Tokens, Instructions
  • Covered by the Spin Master Care Commitment. See below for full details

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The evening had been proceeding with its usual dignified rhythm: post-dinner grooming on the plush rug, followed by a contemplative stare into the middle distance. This tranquility was shattered by the crinkle of cellophane and the thud of a cardboard box on the coffee table. My human, Amelia, and her designated guest-human, Dave, were beaming at it. I watched from my throne—the arm of the velvet armchair—with a single, unimpressed ear flick. It was another "game," a ritual of organized chaos I'd learned to endure. They began, their voices rising and falling with forced enthusiasm. Amelia attempted a song as a red-haired mermaid; the sound was an affront to beings with sensitive hearing such as myself. I began a meticulous cleaning of my paw, pointedly ignoring her. Then, it was Dave's turn. He drew a card, and a slow, deeply unsettling grin spread across his face. "I am... the Cheshire Cat," he announced, attempting to slink behind the ficus plant. His movements were an anatomical travesty, a clumsy, knock-kneed parody of the grace inherent in my species. He tried to vanish, which in his case meant ducking awkwardly and peeking out. It was a disgrace. An insult. I could not let this stand. This was not a game; this was a matter of professional pride. With a silent leap, I landed on the rug in the center of their little circle. I fixed Dave with a withering gaze before beginning my demonstration. I executed a perfect, fluid stretch, elongating my spine until my claws pricked the carpet. I wound between his legs, my tail a silken banner of superiority. Then, I hopped onto the ottoman, curled into a perfect crescent, and offered them a slow blink, my eyes gleaming with ancient, unknowable secrets. I didn't need to disappear; my very presence was an enigma. Amelia clapped her hands. "Oh, Pete wins! Pete is the best Cheshire Cat!" They laughed, entirely missing the point. This was not a performance for their amusement; it was a correction, a masterclass in being feline. They went back to their silly cards, but I had made my statement. The game itself is a piece of trivial nonsense, but I will concede this: it provided the stage upon which my own magnificent nature could be properly showcased. For that, and that alone, it earned a brief, condescending nod of approval.

Hasbro Gaming Candy Land Disney Princess Edition Board Game, Preschool Games for 2 to 3 Players, Family Games for Kids Ages 3 and Up (Amazon Exclusive)

By: Hasbro Gaming

Pete's Expert Summary

My human presented me with this… thing. It’s a flat, foldable square of cardboard from a company called Hasbro, known primarily for providing sturdy, nap-worthy boxes. This particular offering is an assault of saccharine colors depicting a winding path and various human females in large dresses. It comes with several small, plastic totems and a stack of colored cards. The entire purpose seems to be for small, loud humans to move the totems along the path. I suppose the lack of required reading is a key feature for its target audience. While the game itself seems a tedious waste of energy, the small plastic princess figures have a certain chewable, skitter-across-the-floor appeal, and the board itself provides a new, albeit gaudy, surface upon which to interrupt things.

Key Features

  • DISNEY PRINCESS VERSION OF CANDY LAND GAME: Remember playing the Candy Land board game as a kid. Introduce a new generation to this favorite preschool game with the Candy Land Disney Princess game
  • RACE TO THE CASTLE: Players encounter beloved Disney characters as they guide their princess mover around the rainbow path in a race to the enchanted castle. Whoever reaches it first wins
  • 3 FAVORITE DISNEY PRINCESSES: In this fun kids game, little ones can play as Cinderella, Rapunzel, or Ariel
  • DISNEY PRINCESS-THEMED GAMEBOARD: Colorful gameboard features illustrations of Aladdin, Snow White, The Little Mermaid, The Princess and the Frog, and other beloved Disney movies
  • NO READING REQUIRED TO PLAY: Candy Land Disney Princess board game doesn't require reading, so it's a great game for children who haven't learned to read yet
  • PRESCHOOL BOARD GAMES MAKE GREAT KIDS GIFTS FOR GIRLS AND BOYS: Childrens games make one of the most enjoyable holiday gifts or birthday gifts for kids ages 3 and up

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The box arrived, and I gave it the customary inspection. Good seams, solid construction. A prime napping location. My human, however, seemed more interested in its contents. She unfolded a board so luridly colored it threatened to curdle the very cream I’d had for breakfast. It was a cacophony of pinks, purples, and something called a "rainbow path." Then came the idols: three little plastic princesses, their painted-on smiles vacant and foolish. The humans—one large, one small—began their strange ritual, drawing cards and hopping the little figures from square to square. It was agonizingly slow. In a display of profound boredom and asserting my dominance over this new territory, I gracefully leaped onto the table and settled my magnificent gray-and-white form directly across the center of their "world." My nap was promptly disturbed by a gasp. The small human was about to take her turn, but my tail, with a lazy flick of its own accord, had twitched. It connected with the blue princess, Ariel, sending her sliding neatly onto a distant yellow space. At that exact moment, the large human drew a card. It was yellow. A hush fell over the room. "Pete chose for you!" the large one whispered in reverence. I opened one eye. An opportunity. I was no longer merely a cat; I was the Oracle of the Rainbow Path. The rest of the game proceeded not by the random chance of cards, but by my divine whim. Before each turn, two pairs of eyes would fix upon me, waiting for a sign. A deliberate, slow blink? Move to the nearest purple square. An ear twitch? A clear indication to brave the Gumdrop Mountains. When the Rapunzel piece displeased me with its smug, golden-haired countenance, I stretched a hind leg, "accidentally" sending it tumbling back to the start. They interpreted it as a sign of her "hubris." I was lavished with praise and, more importantly, slivers of roast beef for my inscrutable wisdom. Finally, tiring of the charade, I decided to end it. As the Cinderella piece neared the gaudy castle, I sat up, yawned, and with a single, expert push of my paw, sent the totem skittering directly into the castle's printed doorway. The humans erupted in cheers for the "winner." They were fools, of course. They thought they were playing a game, but they were merely worshiping at my altar. The board itself is a flimsy, tasteless affair, but as a platform for demonstrating my intellectual and spiritual superiority? It serves its purpose. It may remain.

Cra-Z-Art Disney Crystal Surprise Series 1, Mini Collectible Crystal Figures with Activity Compound, Collectible Blind Bag Inspired Figures, Kids Toys for Ages 3 and Up

By: Cra-Z-Art

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has brought home what they seem to think is a "toy." In reality, it is a garishly colored plastic sphere containing a hodgepodge of miniature junk: a small, glittery statue of some media creature, a couple of even smaller accessories, and a pot of either primordial ooze or sparkling dirt. The sphere itself has moderate potential for being batted across the hardwood floors, and the tiny figurine is of an ideal size and weight for being skillfully knocked off a high shelf in the middle of the night. However, the entire premise revolves around the human's obsession with "collecting them all," a deeply tedious exercise that offers little stimulation beyond the initial, crinkly unwrapping. It's a momentary diversion, but ultimately a monument to poor taste destined to gather dust.

Key Features

  • Disney Crystal Surprise incudes 1 Crystal Mini Disney Figure, 2 coordinating accessories, and coordinating compound, either Cra-Z-Slimy slime or Cra-Z-Sand packed inside a colorful crystal ball. Disney Crystal Surprise is a blind bag inspired toy; each ball will come in either pink, yellow, blue or purple
  • Disney Crystal Surprise features a Magical Unboxing Experience; inside each crystalized ball is a dazzling, crystal mini figure standing approximately 1.5" tall and 2 accompanying accessories that match each character
  • Adding to the dazzling Disney figures and accessories is a coordinating Cra-Z-Compound that completes each characters environment. Will you get Cra-Z-Slimy slime, or Cra-Z-Sand amazing sand? Each activity compound adds an element of mystery, excitement and added play pattern
  • An additional fun play element is a color change area on each Crystal Mini Figure - When dipped into warm water a colorful area of each figure will change and turn matte then turn back to its original color over a few minutes
  • Collect them all to complete the Series 1 assortment - officially licensed Disney Crystal Surprise Series 1 comes with 12 unique Crystal Mini Figures to collect

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The human placed the vibrant purple orb on the coffee table, calling it a "Crystal Surprise." I, of course, recognized it for what it truly was: an Orb of Prognostication. I have seen them in my visions, between long, sun-drenched naps. They are conduits, revealing glimpses of the future to those wise enough to interpret their signs. I sat loafed on the rug, my tail giving a slow, deliberate twitch. The fate of my evening—specifically, the timeliness of the salmon pâté—hung in the balance. With a clumsy crack, the human split the Orb, spilling its secrets. The auguries were... unsettling. A small, blue, bug-eyed creature with disproportionately large ears emerged, a clear omen of chaos. It was accompanied by two lesser totems, a miniature surfboard and a ukulele, foretelling a period of imbalance and unwelcome noise. And then there was the sand. A pile of shimmering blue sand cascaded out, a gritty, unpleasant sign that could only mean one thing: my wet food would be delayed, and the dry, crunchy pebbles would be offered in its place. The horror. Unaware of the grim portents, the human performed the final, bizarre ritual. They dipped the chaos-gremlin into a bowl of warm water. A patch on its tiny plastic chest shifted color, a sign my human greeted with a foolish gasp of delight. They saw a parlor trick. I saw the prophecy being sealed, the final mark of doom. The future was now set. My dinner was officially in peril, and this blue demon was the harbinger. I let out a sigh of profound disappointment and began fastidiously grooming my white cravat. As a tool of divination, the Orb was crude, its contents insultingly literal. But the session was not a total loss. The tiny surfboard would soon be lost under the sofa, a worthy sacrifice. The chaos-gremlin itself might serve as a decent target for a midnight pounce. As for the prophecy, I would simply have to take matters into my own paws and begin staring intently at the kitchen cabinet an hour earlier than usual. The future is not written in plastic, after all; it is written by the will of the cat.

Melissa & Doug Sticker Wow!™ 24-Page Activity Pad and Sticker Stamper, 300 Stickers, Arts and Crafts Fidget Toy Collectible Character – Disney Mickey Mouse

By: Melissa & Doug

Pete's Expert Summary

My human has procured a rather loud and obtrusively cheerful effigy of that famous commercial mouse, which apparently functions as a delivery system for sticky paper squares. It is presented as a "no-mess" activity for small, clumsy humans, designed to teach them rudimentary concepts that any respectable feline masters within weeks of birth. While the accompanying paper pad holds some promise as a future scratching surface and the 300 little adhesives might provide a fleeting moment of fun batting them under the furniture, the primary device itself seems a tiresome, repetitive contraption. Its value is not in the "play," but in the potential for generating a satisfying *thump* when it is inevitably nudged from a great height.

Key Features

  • Melissa & Doug Sticker WOW! is a whole new way to play with stickers – use the cute, collectible character to stamp Disney-themed stickers on the 24-page Disney Mickey Mouse activity pad and on other creative art projects
  • Includes Sticker WOW! Disney Mickey Mouse collectible sticker stamper, 300 easy-to-remove stickers (100 unique Disney-themed designs), and 24-page activity pad
  • Fun stamp-and-learn activities include numbers, counting, matching, search-and-find, and more
  • On-the-go format with built-in sticker stamper storage and easy-to-remove stickers make Sticker WOW! a great no-mess travel activity, crafting tool, fidget play gadget, and collectible toy all in one; patent pending
  • Makes a great gift for girls and boys, ages 3 to 7, for hands-on, no-mess, fidget-fun play

A Tale from Pete the Cat

The ritual began shortly after the package was unboxed. The small human—a visiting cousin, whose hands were perpetually sticky for reasons I refuse to contemplate—sat cross-legged on my favorite sunning rug. In her grasp was the plastic totem of the Great Round-Eared Mouse. She performed a strange ceremony: a deliberate press, a sharp *CLICK*, and then a soft *thwack* as she applied the device to a booklet. Over and over, she chanted this mechanical mantra, leaving a trail of grinning rodents and anthropomorphic dogs in her wake. I watched from my perch on the armchair, feigning sleep but cataloging every detail. This was not play; this was a rite. She was clearly attempting to summon something, perhaps a being of immense power, through sheer, colorful repetition. Later, when the small human was called away for juice, the idol was left unattended on the floor. My moment had arrived. I descended with the silent grace of a shadow, my paws making no sound on the hardwood. I circled the Mickey Mouse figure. It smelled of plastic and disappointment. I nudged it with my nose. Nothing. I recalled the specific motion the small human used—a direct, downward pressure. Was this the key to the summoning? Was this how one unlocked the portal to the treat dimension? I placed a soft, gray paw directly on the figure’s head, mimicking the ritual I had observed, and pushed. *CLICK-THWACK.* The sound was surprisingly loud in the quiet room. But no portal opened. No spectral tuna appeared. Instead, a small, sticky square depicting a duck in a sailor suit was now firmly attached to my rug. I was aghast. This wasn't a summoning ritual; it was a pointless act of decoration. A fraud! I pressed it again, in disbelief. *CLICK-THWACK.* A sticker of a cartoon bone shot out, landing just shy of the rug. It skittered for a moment on the wood. My tail twitched. The magic was a lie, the totem a hollow shell of false promises. And yet... the little paper bone lay there, a tiny, self-contained challenge. I gave it a tentative pat. It slid. I pounced, batting it into the shadowed realm beneath the coffee table. The summoning was a bust, but the device, this *Sticker Wow!*, had its uses. It was a failure as a magical artifact, but as a generator of things-to-be-chased, it was a qualified, if accidental, success. It could stay. For now.