Pete's Expert Summary
My human has procured a large, inflatable contraption from a brand called GoSports, apparently designed for them to splash and flail in that giant outdoor water bowl they call a 'pool.' It appears to be a 'Splash Net Air,' essentially a floating barrier for their nonsensical water games, complete with two spherical objects they will undoubtedly lose over the fence. The so-called "rapid inflation" feature only means the cacophony of their "fun" begins sooner, disturbing my sunbathing schedule. While the bouncy spheres might hold a flicker of interest if they remained on dry land, their aquatic destiny renders the entire affair a complete and utter waste of my valuable time. It's a monument to pointless, wet exertion.
Key Features
- SPLASH NET AIR: Splash into the ultimate pool day with Splash Net Air pool volleyball - Set includes 1 standard size volleyball and 1 large volleyball to accommodate all skill levels
- MAKE A SPLASH: Splash Net Air is 9.5 ft wide and designed to float in the pool and resist tipping over thanks to the sturdy base for added stability
- RAPID VALVE INFLATION: New Rapid Valve allows 10x faster inflation and deflation compared to traditional valves (2 minutes vs 20 minutes) for instant setup
- BUILT FOR POOL PLAY: Huge 9.5 ft wide net made with sturdy construction to withstand pool splashing fun and resist tipping over
- UPGRADE YOUR POOL: Take family pool days to the next level without breaking the bank; Invest in summer fun that will make your pool the hit of the summer
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The day began with a terrible hissing sound, not unlike that of the vacuum beast, but this one birthed a colossal blue and orange structure on the lawn. My human called it the "GoSports Splash Net." I saw it for what it was: a border wall. Once they heaved it into the pool, the Great Schism began. The family, once a cohesive unit that served me, fractured into two warring tribes, one on each side of the shimmering blue divide. The 9.5-foot net was no mere toy; it was the demarcation line for a new and terrible conflict. From my observation post on a sun-warmed towel, safely out of splash-range, I watched the diplomacy fail. The opening volley was fired using the larger, more forgiving of the two included spheres—a soft declaration of hostilities. But soon, the smaller, harder ball was brought into play, and the skirmish escalated into a full-blown war. Shouts echoed across the yard, water flew like shrapnel, and the humans displayed a shocking lack of grace. The net, however, was a marvel of engineering. It bobbed and absorbed direct hits, its sturdy base holding firm against the chaos. It was an impartial, unyielding arbiter in this theater of the absurd. I, of course, was seen as a key strategic asset. The smaller human from the far-side tribe tried to woo me, waggling his wet fingers in my direction as if I were some common alley cat. He likely hoped I would create a diversion, perhaps by pretending to be interested in the ball pump left on the deck. I gave him a slow blink of utter disdain. My allegiance is to my own comfort, not to the petty squabbles of water-logged primates. I am a correspondent, not a combatant. As the sun began to dip below the fence line, a truce was called. The combatants retreated, dripping and exhausted, leaving the Splash Net to float alone, a silent monument to the day’s folly. My verdict? As an instrument of play for a sophisticated feline, it is an abject failure. It is wet, loud, and involves far too much chaotic movement. However, as a catalyst for drama, as a stage upon which the ridiculous pageant of human competition unfolds, it is a triumph. It provides an entire afternoon of first-class observational material. For that purpose, and that purpose alone, it is worthy.
