My human, in a catastrophic lapse of judgment, has brought home what appears to be a collection of garishly colored foam truncheons. These so-called "Max Liquidators" are, I deduce, instruments of aquatic torment, designed to look like innocent pool noodles but engineered for hostility. The mechanism is insultingly simple: one end siphons water—the very sub…
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My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured a bulk package of what they call "Water Gun Toys." I see them for what they are:…
My human has procured a three-pack of brightly colored plastic contraptions from a brand called 'LQYoyz,' which sounds like a failed attempt to yodel…
My human seems to be contemplating the acquisition of a six-pack of brightly colored plastic implements from a brand called "BebouToye." Based on the…
My human seems to have acquired an entire arsenal of liquid-based terror from a company called Atlasonix. These are, apparently, brightly colored foa…