A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Pogo Stick Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Flybar
Galactic Probe Disguised as Children's Folly
★★★☆☆
Flybar
The Squeaky Stick Reveals No Secrets Whatsoever
★☆☆☆☆
Leitee
Green Omen Toppled, Blue Blight Claimed as Pillow
★★☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Flybar
The Monolith Speaks, and It Says Thump
Our critic endures a floor-shaking red-and-blue interloper but concedes the Maverick earns a grudging pass as a staff-exhaustion device.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented me with schematics for a "Flybar Maverick Foam Pogo Stick," which appears to be a vertical propulsion device for small, unsteady bipeds. It's encased in foam—a detail that piques my interest, as it might offer a satisfying claw-sinking experience—but its primary purpose seems to be generating rhythmic, floor-shaking thuds, a sound pro…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Flybar Maverick Foam Pogo Stick for Kids Age 5 and Up, 40 to 80 Pounds, Pogo Stick for Boys and Girls (Red/Blue)
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Tolerable only as a human-tiring tool
From The Desk
Image of Flybar Master Pogo Stick for Kids, Ages 9+, 80 to 160 Pounds, Easy Grip Handles, Anti-Slip Pegs, Outdoor Toys for Boys, Jumper Toys for Girls, Outside Toys for Kids, Tweens and Teens (Red/White/Blue)
Flybar
A Novice Shaman Communes With The Sky Gods

My human, in her infinite and baffling wisdom, has procured a "Flybar Master Pogo Stick." This appears to be a vertical locomotion device designed for the larger, less graceful ki…

★★★☆☆ — Unworthy physically, magnificent philosophically
More From The Desk
Image of Flybar Super Pogo Pogo Stick for Kids and Adults 14 & Up Heavy Duty for Weights 120-210 Lbs
Flybar
My Oracle Betrayed Me on a Noisy Saturday

My human, in their infinite capacity for acquiring useless objects, has presented this... thing. From what I can gather, this "Flybar Super Pogo" is …

★☆☆☆☆
Image of Leitee 2 Pcs Pogo Stick, Suitable for 80-160 Lbs, Soft Foam Jump Stick, Easy Grip Handles, for Beginners Teens Adults Outdoor Exercise Body Balance Keep Healthy(Blue, Green)
Leitee
The Lances of Leitee Surrender to My Cheek

My human has presented for my inspection a pair of what appear to be brightly-colored, vertical conveyance mechanisms. These "pogo sticks," as the pl…

★★☆☆☆
Image of NSG Flight Premium Perfomance Pogo Stick - Ages 9 and Up - 80-180 Pounds (Blue)
NSG
Seismic Oracle Predicts Treats and Tells No Lies

My human, in a display of questionable judgment that is becoming all too common, has acquired a towering, metallic blue stalk. They call it a "pogo s…

★★★☆☆
Image of Razor Gogo Pogo Stick for Kids Ages 6+ - Lightweight, Foldable, For Riders up to 143 lbs, Black
Razor
Operation Gogo: House Compromised, Nap Disrupted

My human seems to believe my opinion is required on this... thing. It's a 'Razor Gogo Pogo Stick,' apparently. From what I can gather, it is a vertic…

★☆☆☆☆
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