Pete's Expert Summary
My human has presented me with schematics for something called the "GoSports Lacrosse Floating Pool Goal Set." I see it is designed for the Great Wet Beast in the backyard, a place I studiously avoid. The contraption itself—a floating net of garish red plastic—seems utterly pointless, a floating cage for nothing. The larger sticks are clearly for the clumsy giants to flail about with. However, the four "soft rubber balls" mentioned do possess a certain theoretical appeal. Their bounce, their texture, their potential for being batted under the heaviest piece of furniture… these qualities are intriguing. The problem, of course, is their deployment in a hostile, liquid environment, making them largely inaccessible and therefore a tremendous waste of potential.
Key Features
- POOL LACROSSE: Make a splash this summer with the GoSports Splash LAX pool lacrosse game set; Includes 1 Splash LAX goal, 2 mini lacrosse sticks and 4 soft rubber balls for ultimate lacrosse pool party games
- MODERN DESIGN: Beat the heat and enjoy lacrosse in the pool! Splash LAX features a refreshingly modern design that looks great in any pool
- BUILT FOR POOL PLAY: Splash LAX is engineered to withstand all the splashing that comes with pool fun; The sturdy frame ensure maximum durability for countless hours of fun
- EASY POOL ADDITION: Simple addition that brings new excitement to your pool; Features easy assembly and multiple ways to play (full instructions included)
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The day began with an unwelcome flurry of activity. The Tall One, my primary staff member, was wrestling with a collection of red plastic tubes by the edge of the Shimmering Abyss. I observed from my throne—a wicker chair strategically placed in a patch of morning sun—as the ungainly skeleton was assembled and cast adrift. It bobbed there, a gaudy island of no consequence. I had already dismissed it as another human folly when the Small One appeared, armed with a netted wand and a container of small, offensively bright yellow spheres. What followed was a travesty. The spheres, which I had identified as potential "prey-orbs," were launched with shocking inaccuracy toward the floating structure. They would bounce off the frame with a dull *thump* or sail past entirely, landing with a soft *ploop* in the water. It was a chaotic, wet, and deeply inefficient hunting display. The Small One would then use its netted wand to fish the orbs out, only to repeat the foolish ritual. I saw it not as a game, but as a rescue mission. Those poor, helpless orbs, trapped in the water, being constantly flung and retrieved. It was monstrous. My moment came when the humans tired of their aquatic assault and retreated indoors for sustenance. One of the yellow orbs had been successfully "rescued" but was then abandoned on the hot concrete of the patio. The floating red prison drifted slowly, nudged by the breeze, until it kissed the edge of the pool deck right below my perch. I waited. The orb lay tantalizingly close. With the slow, deliberate grace befitting my station, I descended from my chair. I ignored the red monstrosity—it was merely the transport that had delivered my prize. My focus was singular. A soft paw reached out, hooked a claw into the rubbery skin of the orb, and rolled it back from the precipice. I nudged it with my nose. It had a satisfying give. The verdict? The floating contraption is irrelevant. The sticks are an abomination. But this little yellow sphere… this has potential. It is now under the credenza, where it belongs.
