Pete's Expert Summary
My human, in her infinite and questionable wisdom, has procured a colossal, rubbery orb. Apparently, it's a "Space Hopper" designed for the larger, more awkward variety of human young, which explains its planetary scale. The colors are a swirling, garish vortex of red and blue that they audaciously compare to an aurora, but which I find rather unsettling. Its only conceivable merit might be as a temporary, wobbly observation deck from which I can judge the lesser beings of this household. However, the sheer effort required to mount such a beast, combined with the offensive smell of plastic and the undignified bouncing it encourages, suggests it will mostly be a waste of my valuable napping time.
Key Features
- The hop ball features a vibrant mix of colors, resembling the stunning aurora borealis. Inflated size approx. 55cm/22in in diameter. Durable Grab n' grip handle. Ideal for indoor and outdoor use.
- Suitable for taller children in tIncludes a two-way hand pump. Ball is delivered deflated. Presented in color box and ideal as a gift. Lab tested, conforms to all applicable toy safety requirements, durable and safe.he age group of 10-13 years. Maximum sustainable weight of 200 pounds.
- Includes a two-way hand pump. Ball is delivered deflated. Presented in color box and ideal as a gift. Lab tested, conforms to all applicable toy safety requirements, durable and safe.
- The hop ball is featured in a vibrant and changing shade of color, beautifully imitating the mesmerizing colors of the ever-changing sky and clouds at different times of the day.
- Inflation instruction: Take out the inserted white plug (air stopper) from the ball, insert the tip of the pump and inflate the ball to good size, and then replace the white plug back into the hole quickly. Bounce!
A Tale from Pete the Cat
It arrived not born, but summoned. A flat, lifeless skin was unfurled on the living room floor, and then the human began a ritual with a strange plastic wand, huffing and puffing. With each gasp of the pump, the thing swelled, a terrible, silent nebula growing in my domain. Its skin was a chaotic swirl of cosmic reds and blues, and a single, looped handle protruded from its northern pole like a deformity. I watched from the arm of the sofa, my tail twitching, a silent astronomer observing a celestial anomaly that threatened to throw my entire system out of balance. The human child, the Noisy One, was the first to pilot the strange world. She gripped its handle and began a series of jarring, ground-shaking bounces. The floor vibrated. The fine dust motes, previously sleeping peacefully in the sunbeams, danced in a terrified frenzy. This was an affront. This was a seismic event. My afternoon meditation was shattered. When the Noisy One finally tired of her chaotic journey and abandoned the orb in the center of the room, I knew I had to investigate this invader. I descended from my perch and approached with the stealth of a stalking predator. I sniffed its equator. It smelled of nothing natural, only the sterile scent of the factory from whence it came. I gave it a tentative pat with a soft paw. It did not yield. It resisted, pushing back with a strange, buoyant energy. I gave it a firmer smack, claws sheathed, of course—I am a gentleman. The orb wobbled, then shuddered, then rolled a few inches away before settling, humming with a faint static charge. This was no mere toy. This was a challenge. A monolith. With a powerful leap, I launched myself upwards. I landed atop the sphere, my claws instinctively finding purchase for a moment before I settled. The world pitched and swayed beneath me. It was an unstable throne, but a throne nonetheless. From this new, lofty vantage point, I could survey my entire kingdom. The Noisy One looked smaller. The sofa seemed a distant continent. The strange handle, I discovered, made for an excellent chin rest. It was not a plush bed, no, but it was a perch of power. A conquered world. I settled in, a king on a wobbly, plastic planet, and decided it could stay. For now.
