A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Hiking Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
comedyfun
My Silence Was the Loudest Transmission
★★★☆☆
Inspireyes
VOX Mode Lets Me Haunt Every Room at Once
★★★★★
GINMIC
Drawstring Bag Saves an Otherwise Insulting Kit
★★☆☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Evassal
Agent Pete Accidentally Breaks Radio Silence
Our critic accidentally transmits a meow across the house and discovers the walkie talkie is a viable command-and-control device, endorsing it for future treat-demand operations.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has presented me with these chunky plastic contraptions from a brand called "Evassal." They are apparently communication devices for small, loud humans, allowing them to broadcast their shrill noises over a distance of up to 1000 feet. While the lightweight design might make it easy for me to bat across the floor, its primary function seems to be a…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Cool Walkie Talkies for Boys Kids: Gifts Toys for 3 4 5 6 7 8 Year Old Boys Ages 5-7 Kids Walkie Talkies 2 Pack Outdoor Hiking Camping 2 Way Radio Toy Age 3-8 Year Old Boy Girl Birthday Gifts
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
Crude, but a useful scepter.
From The Desk
Image of Two Way Radios for Adults, Topsung M880 FRS Walkie Talkie Long Range with VOX Belt Clip/Hands Free Walki Talki with Noise Cancelling for Women Kids Camping Hiking Cruise Ship (Orange 2 in 1)
Topsung
Orange Bricks Amplify My Will Across Many Rooms

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has acquired a pair of garish orange plastic bricks from a brand called 'Topsung.' Apparently, these are "Two Way Radios," …

★★★★★ — A scepter for my reign.
More From The Desk
Image of Melissa & Doug Let’s Explore Hiking Play Set – 23 Pieces Toddler Nature Toys, Hiking Toys for Kids Ages 3+
Melissa & Doug
Explorer Tracked the Wrong Prey Entirely

So, my human has presented me with this... kit. It's a "Let's Explore Hiking Play Set" from a brand called Melissa & Doug, which seems to specialize …

★★★☆☆
Image of Toys for 3-7 Year Old Girls: LET'S GO! Binoculars for Kids Bird Watching|Hiking|Camping 4 5 6 7 8 Year Old Girl Boy Birthday Gifts Outdoor Learning Toy for Kid Ages 4-6 Toddler Gift Stuffers
LET'S GO!
Junior Agent Directed Toward Squirrel Syndicate Intel

My human seems to think my world-class observational skills need augmenting, and has presented this... device. From what I can gather, these "LET'S G…

★★★★☆
Image of Walkie Talkies for Kids - Rechargeable 4 Pack: Walky Talky for Kids with Charger Battery - Walkie-Talkies Long Range Outdoor, Hiking, Camping Toys for 3-12 Year Old Girls Boys
Jueion
Four Plastic Bricks Foil a Feather-Wand Heist

So, my Human has presented me with a four-pack of these "Jueion" branded plastic bricks, which they call Walkie Talkies. Apparently, they are designe…

★★★☆☆
Image of LET'S GO! Toys for 5-8 Year Old Boys, Compact Waterproof Binocular for Kids Hunting-Hiking Presents for Kids Best Easter Toys for 6-9 Year Old Boys Gifts Age 3-9 Blue
LET'S GO!
Blue Optics Expose a Blue Jay Crime Boss

My human has presented me with a contraption they call "binoculars," apparently made by a brand with the absurdly energetic name of "LET'S GO!". It's…

★★★★☆
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