A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Gym Set Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
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From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Hey! Play!
They Commissioned a Throne Without Knowing It
Our critic dismisses the gaudy plastic weights entirely but crowns the foam bench a masterpiece of feline furniture, claiming the prime real estate without a single squat.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

Ah, yes. My human has presented me with this... contraption. It appears to be a miniature version of the loud, metallic torture device the large humans use in that one room I'm not supposed to sleep in. This one, a "Kids Weight Bench Set" from a brand called "Hey! Play!", is made of steel but mercifully swaddled in soft foam, colored in hues that scream "lo…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Kids Weight Bench Set - Toddler Gym for Beginner Exercises and Weightlifting with Leg Press and Barbell - Toys for Ages 3 and Up by Hey Play
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
A throne, not a gym.
From The Desk
Image of BlueWood Pikler Triangle Set 7in1 Foldable Baby Climbing Toys Wooden Montessori Climbing Set with Arch&Ramp&Ladder Baby Climber Indoor Jungle Gyms for Toddlers Montessori Toys - Rainbow
BlueWood
Garish Eyesore Conceals a Perfect Rocking Cradle

My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has procured what they refer to as a "Pikler Triangle." From my vantage point, it appears to be a large, rainbow-hued woode…

★★★★☆ — The arch alone redeems it.
More From The Desk
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doowroodni
Project Timberfall: A Resounding Feline Victory

My human seems to believe this elaborate wooden contraption, which they assembled with much grunting and consulting of primitive diagrams, is for the…

★★★★★
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Geodesic Horror Doubles as a Kinetic Throne

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume was profound boredom, has allowed the installation of a colossal metal spiderweb in my backyard. They ca…

★★★☆☆
Image of PowerTRC Barbell Kids Weight Set - Adjustable Toddler Weight Set & Kids Workout Equipment for Beginner Gym Exercise, Fitness, Ideal for Weightlifting & Powerlifting Training
PowerTRC
A Leaking Barbell Becomes an Art Installation

My Human, in their infinite and baffling wisdom, has procured what appears to be a rudimentary strength-training apparatus for their small, loud offs…

★★☆☆☆
Image of ElegantCrafts Pikler Triangle Set with Cushion, Montessori Climbing Set, Indoor Climbing Toys, Indoor Playground Jungle Gyms, 9 Combinations Climbing Toy Set for Toddler, Baby, Kids 1-4
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Cushioned Arch Earns the Title of Feline Temple

Honestly, the Human's obsession with providing enrichment for the *other* small, loud creature in this house is usually a source of profound irritati…

★★★★★
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