A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Golf Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Battle Golf
Golf Solved in One Minute; Nap Begins in Three
★★★★☆
Play Nine
One Paw on the Draw Pile Ends the Game
★★★★☆
ELECTRONIC ARTS INC
Foil Ball Defeats Digital Golf for Warden's Attention
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: NALAKUVARA
Miniature Golf Ball Sunk — Under the Bookshelf
Our critic dismisses the entire desktop course as clutter, then launches the single white ball off the desk with one flick and dispatches the human to search on hands and knees.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human, in a fit of what I can only describe as profound misunderstanding of my needs, has acquired a "desktop game." From what I can gather, it's a small, green felt-lined box containing miniature metal sticks and two tiny white spheres. The human seems to think pushing these spheres around with the sticks is a worthwhile activity, a "fidget toy" to dist…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Golf Pen Desktop Games - Funny Gifts for Golfers, Coworkers, Boss - Stocking Stuffers
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
Excellent delivery system for a floor toy.
From The Desk
Image of goienu Golf Game: 70"x 70" Plus Size Double Sided Hitting Mat, Ideal Gifts for Kids Adults, 20 Sticky Balls & 10 Darts for Indoor or Backyard Battle Chipping
goienu
Bullseye Claimed; New Champion Refuses to Vacate

My human seems to have acquired yet another large, floppy object intended to distract the bipedal members of this household. This "goienu" contraption appears to be a giant, two-s…

★★★★☆ — I am the real winner.
More From The Desk
Image of Golf Pong – Backyard Golf Game with 16 Chipping Velcro Balls & Mat, Yard and Outdoor Games for Adults & Family, Indoor Golf Set for Home, Beach or Party, Lawn Games for Adults & Family Outdoor
Golf Pong
The Great Un-Stickening Produces a Velcro Symphony

My human has unfurled yet another monument to his questionable taste in "fun." This "Golf Pong" apparatus appears to be a large, green, felt-like rec…

★★★☆☆
Image of bucketgolf Game 9 Hole Bundle with Clubs - Outdoor Golf Game for All Ages Adults, Kids, Family. Play Golf Anywhere Yards, Beach, Park, Backyard Game. (2 Clubs (2 RH))
bucketgolf
Nine Buckets, Zero Putts, One Advanced Military Simulation

So, my human has presented me with this... "bucketgolf" apparatus. It appears to be a kit for them to engage in their strange, ritualistic lawn activ…

★★★★☆
Image of TEITEAI Golf Decor for Golf Party, Miniature Golf Cart Model with Accessories, Red and White, Die-Cast Collectible Golf Cart Decoration
TEITEAI
Die-Cast Shrine Deconstructed; 7-Iron Kept as Trophy

My human, in their infinite and baffling wisdom, has acquired what appears to be a shrunken land vehicle for tiny, affluent squirrels. This "TEITEAI …

★★★☆☆
Image of Liberry Toddler Golf Set, Upgraded Kids Golf Cart with Unique Shoulder Strap Design, Indoor and Outdoor Golf Toys for Boys and Girls Aged 1-5 Years Old
Liberry
Six Tribute Balls Relocated; One Filed in Human's Slipper

So, the human has procured a "Toddler Golf Set." A collection of garishly colored plastic designed for the clumsy, miniature humans who occasionally …

★★★☆☆
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