A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Fitness Equipment Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: KJR
Ten Colorful Plateaus Yield One Feline Mountain Range
Our critic surveys the new domestic topography, leaps from island to island, and crowns himself king from the regal purple peak a full foot off the ground.

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume was profound boredom, has introduced a collection of colorful plastic slabs into my domain. They are ostensibly for the clumsy, miniature humans who sometimes visit, meant to be some sort of "obstacle course" to improve their already questionable balance. From my perspective, however, they are a series of low-alt…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Stepping Stones for Kids, 10 PCS Non-slip Sensory Toys, Outdoor Indoor Play Promoting Children's Balance, Coordination and Motor Skills, Toddler Obstacle Course Game for Ages 3 4 5 6 7 8 Years
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★★
Essential. Undisputed king of this mountain range.
More From The Desk
Image of Kids Weight Bench Set - Toddler Gym for Beginner Exercises and Weightlifting with Leg Press and Barbell - Toys for Ages 3 and Up by Hey Play
Hey! Play!
Alien Landing Craft Claimed Before Pilot Notices

My human has presented me with this... contraption. It appears to be a miniature human exercise device, a "weight bench," for the smallest, most chao…

★★★★☆
Image of Aqua 6-Piece Fitness Set - Adult Water Aerobics Equipment for Pool - Includes Aquatic Swim Belt, Resistance Gloves, and Dumbbells
Aqua
Blue Foam Tragedy Redeemed by One Clacking Buckle

My human, in a fit of what I can only assume is sun-induced delirium, has acquired a collection of bizarre blue foam objects from a brand called "Aqu…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Kids Workout Dumbbell Weights Set - Toddler Toy Gym Equipment for Pretend Play Lifting, Exercise & Fitness - Adjustable Fill with Sand or Water (2 Pack)
Liberty Imports
Sacred Idol Dismantled, Its Disciples Left Weeping

My human seems to believe that their small, loud offspring should engage in the baffling ritual of "exercise" by lifting these garish plastic objects…

★★★☆☆
Image of Silipull 8 Pcs Detachable Hoop and Jump Rope Set Include 4 Skipping Rope and 4 Adjustable Weight Size Hoop Gymnastic Fitness Exercise Gift Equipment (Three-Dimensional Style,Light Color,27.56'')
Silipull
Synthetic Serpent Claimed; Hoops Left to the Humans

It appears the human has acquired a "fitness set," likely for some small, noisy human they occasionally entertain. It consists of several large, plas…

★★★☆☆
Other Desks In This Section
⬆ Up a level
About Pete Printed daily, ignored nightly Privacy Policy