A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Backyard Game Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
SPORT BEATS
The Altar Falls Precisely as Ordained
★★★★★
GoSports
Alien Seed Pods Monitored from Perch; No Germination Yet
★★☆☆☆
Kan Jam
Fortress Sublime, Game Ridiculous, Hero Unrecognized
★★★★☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Mattel Games
Toss Across Delivers One Worthy Tribute by Accident
Our critic finds Mattel's bean-bag game an absurdity but levies a red bag as a toll for the disruption and carries it triumphantly to bed as the evening's sole prize.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human has procured a rather large and garish plastic grid from the Mattel corporation, a purveyor of toys for underdeveloped bipeds. The premise, as I understand it, involves hurling small, squishy sacks at it to flip rotating squares in a rudimentary game of tic-tac-toe. While the noisy, clattering frame is a potential disruption to a perfectly good nap…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Mattel Games Toss Across Kids Outdoor Game, Bean Bag Throw for Camping & Family Nights, Get 3-in-a-Row for 2 to 4 Players
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★☆☆
The frame stays; this bag is mine.
From The Desk
Image of GoSports Slammo Game Set (Includes 3 Balls, Carrying Case and Rules) - Outdoor Lawn, Beach & Tailgating Roundnet Game for Kids, Teens & Adults
GoSports
Dangerous Net, But the Training Ball Understands the Chase

My human seems to have procured a "Slammo," a device that appears to be a miniature, ground-level trampoline for the express purpose of encouraging loud, clumsy human activity. Th…

★★☆☆☆ — The ball stays; the net may not.
More From The Desk
Image of Franklin Sports Volleyball + Badminton Sets - Beach + Backyard Combo Complete Outdoor Lawn Game Set - Volleyball, Pump, Badminton Rackets, Birdies, Net + Poles Included
Franklin Sports
Net Is a Blight; Birdies Are Worthy Prizes

So, my human has presented me with this... "Franklin Sports Volleyball + Badminton Set." It appears to be a highly complicated kit for establishing a…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Ayeboovi Toss and Catch Ball Game Outdoor Toys for Kids Yard Games Beach Toys Outside Games for 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Year Old Boys Girls (Upgraded)
Ayeboovi
Self-Arresting Ball Revolutionizes the Physics of Play

My human has presented me with a set of garish, round shields and several fuzzy orbs, apparently sourced from a purveyor known as 'Ayeboovi'. The sta…

★★★☆☆
Image of CWLAKON Outdoor Giant Tic Tac Toe Bean Bag Toss Games for Kids Adults Family, Large Outside Lawn Yard Backyard Carnival Field Day Game, Beach Picnic Camping Birthday Party Family Reunion Games
CWLAKON
O-Bag Subdued, Tribute Accepted, Grid May Remain

My human has once again decided to desecrate the pristine lawn with some sort of primitive ritual. This one, by a company called CWLAKON, involves la…

★★★☆☆
Image of 3-in-1 Vintage Giant Checkers, Tic, Tac, Toe, with Reversible Mat, 24 Chips, Family Board Game, Lawn Game, BBQ Party Favor, Indoor and Outdoor Activity for Kids and Adults
JOYIN
One Illegal Move Topples the Whole Game

My human has presented a new offering, clearly purchased in a fit of optimism about "family fun." It appears to be a large, foldable floor covering a…

★★★★☆
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