A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Dinosaur Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Lead Review · From: LEGO
Excellent Dog-Deterrent, Terrible Toy
Our critic dismisses the LEGO T-Rex as a plaything but grants it conditional residency after discovering its precision value as a projectile aimed at the household canine.

My Human, in what I can only describe as a profound misunderstanding of both biology and entertainment, has presented me with a box of small, hard, colorful plastic bricks. The brand is LEGO, a name I associate with the sharp, painful objects I occasionally find underfoot on my midnight patrols. The purpose of these bricks is to be painstakingly assembled i…

Continued on the story page →
Image of LEGO Creator 3 in 1 Mighty Dinosaur Toy, Transforms from T. rex to Triceratops to Pterodactyl Dinosaur Figures, Great Gift for 7-12 Year Old Boys & Girls, 31058
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★☆☆☆
A weapon, not a toy. It stays.
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Six Noisy Heralds of My Unmet Needs

It appears the human has procured a six-pack of what the 'DINOBROS' brand, with a stunning lack of subtlety, calls 'Dinosaur Cars.' These are, essent…

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JOYIN
Security Fails, Brachiosaurus Earns Its Freedom

So, the human has procured what appears to be a portable ecosystem of chaos, courtesy of a brand named JOYIN. It's a collection of miniature beasts—"…

★★★☆☆
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HONGID
My Private Celestial Safari, Misattributed to a Child

My human seems to have acquired another piece of plastic nonsense from the HONGID corporation, an entity I assume specializes in things that light up…

★★★★☆
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Six Plastic Pretenders, All Duly Toppled

My human seems to have mistaken our living room for a prehistoric theme park for miniature giants. This is a set of six rather large, plastic effigie…

★★☆☆☆
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