Pete's Expert Summary
My human, in a fit of what I can only describe as domestic madness, has acquired a large-scale construction project they refer to as a "patio dining set." From my vantage point on the windowsill, it appears to be a collection of spindly black legs, a sheet of strangely warped water they call "rippled glass," and a gargantuan, collapsible flower meant to block the sky. The purported purpose is for human congregation in the Great Outdoors, an activity I find baffling. However, I will concede a few points of interest. The chairs, made of a "breathable fabric," might offer a superior, sun-warmed napping experience, and the giant umbrella provides a mobile patch of shade, which could be strategically useful for surveying my territory without the indignity of squinting. It is a monumental waste of space, but it might not be a total waste of my time.
Key Features
- 6-PIECE OUTDOOR TABLE SET: Includes a glass patio table, 4 folding chairs, and a patio umbrella to transform any patio, backyard, porch, or deck from boring to appealing and make it easy to relax or entertain
- RIPPLED GLASS TABLE TOP: Smooth to the touch and sits atop a 4-legged powder coated sturdy steel frame base with protective floor glides that allow you to move the table around without damaging flooring surfaces
- LIGHTWEIGHT FOLDING CHAIRS: Made with comfortable, breathable fabric and can be used with or without the table, allowing you to relocate your seating to the deck or poolside or take the chairs with you on trips
- 6.6' TABLE UMBRELLA: Keeps you and your guests shaded and protected from the sun and features a convenient tilt function that can be easily activated by simply pushing the plastic ring on the pole
- EFFICIENT SIZE: Table Size: 31.25" W x 31.25" D x 28" H; Chair Size (4): 21.25" W x 25" D x 35.25" H; Back Size: 17" W x 22.25" H; Seat Size: 17.25" W x 16" D x 16" H; Umbrella Size: 59" W x 59" D x 76” - 80" H; Each item can be cleaned with a water based solution
A Tale from Pete the Cat
The day it arrived was a cacophony of groans and metallic clangs. The Human, my primary caretaker and furniture assembler, wrestled the black metal limbs from a cardboard prison. I watched from the cool side of the sliding glass door, tail twitching in mild annoyance. My prime sunbathing spot on the patio was being desecrated by what looked like the skeleton of some bizarre, multi-legged beast. The Human unfolded one of the chairs with a loud *snap*, and I flinched, flattening my ears. Flimsy. Clearly a temporary structure, not built to the exacting standards of my favorite velvet armchair. This entire endeavor reeked of poor planning and transient enthusiasm. Once the clumsy construction was complete and the Human had retreated inside for a beverage, I ventured forth. The air outside carried the alien scent of powder-coated steel and new plastic. I approached a chair first, giving it a suspicious sniff. The black fabric was taut, a fine mesh that promised not to overheat my luxurious fur. I leaped up. The landing was soft, the material giving slightly under my weight. It was… acceptable. From this new perch, I surveyed the centerpiece: the table. A leap confirmed my suspicions about the "rippled glass." It was a bizarre, disorienting surface. The flagstones below me warped and swam as if I were peering into a magical, wobbly puddle. A humble garden slug traversing the patio became a shimmering, monstrous leviathan. The strategic possibilities for advanced insect observation were undeniable. My final inspection was of the giant canopy. The Human had left the umbrella tilted against the afternoon sun, casting a perfect, deep shadow across the new table and two of the chairs. It was a haven, a cool oasis in the otherwise offensively bright yard. I noticed a small plastic ring on the pole, the mechanism for the tilt function. A gentle tap with my paw made it wiggle. Oh, yes. That had potential. I curled up on the glass, the world beneath me a fascinating, distorted mess, my form cloaked in the crisp shade of the umbrella. The Human had not bought a dining set; they had, unwittingly, commissioned a state-of-the-art, multi-level outdoor throne and observatory. For me. A foolish, but ultimately successful, use of their money.