My human has unrolled what appears to be a two-dimensional schematic for a city of profound disappointment. They call it a "playmat," a product from a brand named "Angels," which is ironic given the faint chemical odor that is anything but heavenly. It boasts a map of human mundanity—a hospital, a school, an airport—places I associate only with prodding, lo…
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My human, in their infinite yet often misguided wisdom, has acquired what they call a "baby play mat." In reality, it's a modular, customizable floor…
So, the human has procured a large, six-sided expanse of pink fluff from a brand called "WERSHOW," which sounds less like a purveyor of fine goods an…
My human, in their infinite and often misguided wisdom, has introduced a new floor covering into my domain. It appears to be a large, offensively bri…
My human has acquired a set of what they call "carpet tiles" from a brand with a name like a keyboard smash, BXEBUI. Essentially, it's a collection o…