A pamphlet of feline opinion · est. mmxxv
Pete, the resident feline critic
The Pete Gazette
The Talking Puzzle Desk Reviewed for kids & the grown-ups who shop for them Reviewed from the windowsill
Also Reviewed
Melissa & Doug
Strategic Use of a Children's Song at 3 A.M
★★★☆☆
Melissa & Doug
I Discovered I Was the Barnyard's True Conductor
★★★★☆
Melissa & Doug
Classically Conditioning My Staff with Livestock Noises
★★★☆☆
From the wires — the critic descends upon the next desk shortly. The toys have been warned.
Lead Review · From: Melissa & Doug
Ms. Rachel Haunts My Living Room at Three A.M
Our critic initially dismisses a noisy alphabet board as juvenile clatter, then discovers its light-activated sensors make it an instrument of midnight psychological dominance.
By Pete · Resident Feline Critic

My human seems to have mistaken our home for a preschool. This new object from Melissa & Doug, a brand I associate with the clunky, brightly-colored distractions of the Small Human, is a flat wooden board with letter-shaped holes. Apparently, when you lift a piece, a relentlessly cheerful voice named "Ms. Rachel" recites the alphabet. It's supposedly "light…

Continued on the story page →
Image of Melissa & Doug® Ms. Rachel™ Wooden Phonics Alphabet Sound Puzzle with Light-Activated Sound Effects, 24-Piece Toddler Toys for Boys and Girls Ages 2+ Years
Fig. 1 — the subject
Pete's Verdict
★★★★☆
A ghost-conducting tool of genius.
From The Desk
Image of Melissa & Doug Vehicles Sound Puzzle - Wooden Peg Puzzle With Light-Activated Sound Effects (8 pcs) Puzzles for Toddlers, Wooden Puzzles For Kids Ages 2+
Melissa & Doug
A God of Transportation Needs No Puzzle Pieces

My human has brought home yet another contraption for the tiny, loud human. It appears to be a slab of wood with holes and corresponding wooden lumps painted to look like the nois…

★★★★☆ — Not a toy; a masterpiece of noise.
More From The Desk
Image of Melissa & Doug Around the House Sound Puzzle - Wooden Peg Puzzle with Light-Activated Sound Effects (8 pcs) Chunky Puzzles, Wooden Knob Puzzles For Toddlers Ages 2+
Melissa & Doug
The Phantom Phone Rang, and I Was Its Master

My human, in a moment of questionable judgment typically reserved for buying kale, has procured a flat plank of wood with various carved lumps meant …

★★★★☆
Image of Melissa & Doug Wooden Alphabet Sound Puzzle - Wooden Puzzle with Sound Effects (26 pcs) - FSC Certified
Melissa & Doug
Light, Shadow, and a Modest Alphabet Instrument

So, my human has presented me with this... object. It appears to be a flat, wooden tray designed to hold a variety of colorful, angular blocks. They …

★★★☆☆
Image of Fisher-Price Toddler Shape Sorting Toy Laugh & Learn Farm Animal Puzzle with Music & Sounds for Kids Ages 1+ Years​
Fisher-Price
I Liberated the Prisoners and Sat on the Warden

Honestly, Human, must you be so literal? You see the brand name "Fisher-Price" and "Toddler" in the title and you think this is for *me*? This is a g…

★★☆☆☆
Image of Melissa & Doug Numbers Sound Puzzle - Wooden Puzzle With Sound Effects (21 pcs)
Melissa & Doug
Twenty! Shouted Into the Dark, On My Command

So, the human has procured a flat, brightly colored plank of wood, apparently to teach their loud, clumsy offspring how to count. It smells faintly o…

★★★★☆
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